Author Archives: nandan

Josh Massad’s World Through Music

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I’m working with a musician named Josh Massad on a project called “World Through Music,” which focuses on teaching music and other subjects through music. Josh travels globally, teaching music to children in various regions. In the U.S., he introduces American kids to African and Indian music. In Africa, he teaches Indian and American music to African kids, and currently, in India, he’s teaching African, American, and Asian music to children in Varanasi. About a month ago, Josh contacted me to see if I would be interested in collaborating on this project.

Josh with village kids

The project intrigued me, so I agreed to assist him. My role involves organizing his performances at schools throughout Varanasi. To give Josh and his project broad exposure, I arranged for him to perform at a variety of schools, including city schools, village schools, private schools, government schools, play schools, and schools run by NGOs. In total, we planned around 50 performances over 25 days, with 25 performances at village schools where children come from very poor families, 10 at NGO-run training centers for girls, 10 at city schools, and about 5 at schools run by NGOs.

Josh teaching Kanjira

One of the performances is scheduled at a school for children of sex workers in Varanasi. These children often face difficulties gaining admission to traditional schools due to a lack of residential proof and documentation about their parents. An NGO in Varanasi has started a school specifically for these children, and we will be working with them as well. Additionally, we’ve organized performances with children from my educational program and with daytime child laborers in Mehdiganj, where Lok Samiti runs evening classes for them.

Dancing with a kid

Josh carries a map and various instruments from around the world. He starts by discussing geography, teaching about the seven continents and the countries within them. He then shows these locations on a map and introduces the instruments, explaining where each one originates. It was surprising to see that many village kids had little knowledge of geography; some didn’t even know which continent India is on or could name its states. I hope Josh’s lessons will spark their curiosity and expand their knowledge.

Josh teaching map

After introducing his instruments, Josh plays them for the kids and teaches them African songs. One song, in particular, is a favorite: “Fanga Alafia, Ashe Ashe,” a welcome song from Africa. The kids love singing it and joining in with Josh. He also teaches various clapping styles and occasionally introduces basic yoga techniques. The project is progressing well, and seeing the children’s enjoyment makes me happy. However, a few teachers have questioned the relevance of teaching African songs, expressing doubt about their impact.

showing an Indonesian instrument

I don’t expect the children to master all of Josh’s instruments or geography in a single day, but I am confident that his performances will ignite an interest in world geography and music. If they glance at a map even once at home, I’ll consider the project a success. Josh is planning to make a documentary about his work next year and wants me to organize the details. He is also considering starting a mobile school in India and again hopes I can help with the arrangements. He envisions bringing musicians from various places to travel with him and teach music and geography. It sounds incredibly exciting, and I’m looking forward to being part of it.

Kids also love to play the instruments

Shivratri 2010

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It was Shivratri on the 12th, and I was incredibly excited for it. Shivratri is the biggest festival in Varanasi, celebrated as the wedding anniversary of Lord Shiva. There are over six thousand temples in Varanasi, but only 11 of them organize a wedding parade for Lord Shiva. The parade begins at various temples and culminates near the Vishwanath Temple (the Golden Temple). The most popular and grandest parade starts at the Mahamrityunjay Temple and is the final parade of the day. I attended the parade with my friends, and it was absolutely amazing.

Lord Shiva and Parvati

Bhang, which is associated with Lord Shiva and an integral part of Varanasi’s culture, is consumed by many people during the festival as a blessing from Lord Shiva. People take a bath in the Ganges, perform rituals at Shiva temples, offer bhang, and then consume it. The entire city is decorated with lights, free bhang drinks are served everywhere, and people come out to join the festivities. It’s so much fun—I love this festival. It is said that during Lord Shiva’s wedding, a diverse array of characters participated, including gods, goddesses, ghosts, demons, and more. Consequently, the wedding parade featured all sorts of characters.

The parade included people wearing ghost masks, individuals dressed as gods and goddesses, snake charmers, hijras, and various animals like cows, bulls, goats, dogs, horses, and elephants. There were people smoking ganja, and the scene was quite chaotic. One man dressed as Lord Shiva was leading the parade. He was extremely high on bhang, almost sleeping while walking. I had seen the same man in last year’s parade, and I suspect he was deliberately given a lot of bhang, as he was also nearly unconscious last year. He struggled to walk, would occasionally faint, and either walked slowly with his eyes closed, danced, or fainted. I doubt Lord Shiva fainted at his wedding, but Varanasi’s bhang certainly has that effect on people!

ghost

The man carried a trident and a damru, and wore a dhatura garland. He performed the Tandav dance for a short time, then would faint. As he fainted or fell asleep, people chanted “Har Har Mahadev” (a chant for Lord Shiva) and “Jago Baba” (meaning “wake up, baba”) to rouse him. The noise from thousands of people shouting “Har Har Mahadev” was deafening, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I’m not sure how anyone can survive after consuming so much bhang, but he seemed to be holding on.

Character playing Lord Shiva fainted due to intoxication of Bhang

The festival featured loud music, with drums playing everywhere, but I particularly enjoyed the Nagada drum. The Nagada is a traditional Varanasi instrument used in both wedding and funeral parades. We take pride in our Nagada performances. Josh, wanting to try bhang, bought a glass of bhang lassi without consulting me. He expected it to have an immediate effect like alcohol, but bhang takes time to work. Later, he asked me for more bhang lassi, so I took him to a reputable shop, not realizing he had already consumed some.

Bhang Thandai

After drinking more than half a glass of bhang lassi, Josh said it wasn’t making him high, and I explained it would take some time. He asked how long, and I told him at least two hours. He then revealed he had already drunk a glass of bhang lassi an hour earlier. I advised against drinking a second glass, but he insisted he could handle it. Although I knew two glasses of bhang were too much, he believed he’d be fine. It’s been over 48 hours since his second glass, and he’s still asleep in his room. When I asked if he would ever drink bhang again, he said never.

elephants were also there

Many documentaries have been made about Varanasi and its festivals, but none focus specifically on this one. I had planned to film the festival but couldn’t due to my commitments with Josh’s project and a lack of resources. Now, Josh wants to help me make a documentary about the festival, and I’m really looking forward to it. I’ll do my best to capture the essence of this festival, and I’m sure it will be a lot of fun. The festival is over now, and I’m already excited for next year. Har Har Mahadev!

Lord Shiva

San Francisco guests at home

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I hosted a couple from San Francisco at my guest house for three weeks. They arrived in Varanasi five weeks ago and initially stayed at a guest house near Assi Ghat for two weeks. Unfortunately, they were uncomfortable there because the bed in their room was not to their liking. They learned about my guest house through Megan, one of my guests, whom they met at a café. Megan brought them to my place, and they enjoyed it so much that they decided to spend the rest of their time in Varanasi with us. Both of them are psychologists from San Francisco.

They were eager to learn Hindi and tabla while in Varanasi. I introduced them to the Indian classical music school next door, where Uncle Sam was impressed and decided to take tabla lessons. Binit, the Hindi teacher, taught them the language. They showed a strong interest in social work, having already been involved with Bal Ashram before arriving. I also took them to Lok Samiti to show them the organization’s work, and they were deeply impressed. They even asked Nandlal Master, the president of Lok Samiti, if they could assist with his efforts.

Uncle Sam and Auntie Mar were wonderful guests. Even though their stay was only three weeks, we developed a strong bond, and I miss them now. Uncle Sam kindly gave me a netbook, which will be incredibly useful for me during power cuts and while traveling.

Winning a television

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Today, while watching the news on India TV, I was reminded of a memorable experience from three years ago when I won their “Best Video of the Day” contest. At that time, Lane and I had visited Nagwa, Varanasi, to document untreated sewage discharge into the Ganga. Lane used his digital camera to capture footage of this issue. I sent the video to India TV, and it was selected as the “Best Video of the Day,” earning me a prize: a color TV. I was thrilled about the prize, especially since I didn’t own a TV and couldn’t afford one. However, India TV requested a bank draft of Rs. 2300 as a tax on the lottery winnings.

Eager to claim my prize, I sent the money. They then sent me a letter on Sansui’s letterhead (as Sansui sponsored the program) stating that I could collect the TV at the nearest Sansui store. Upon visiting the address listed on the letterhead, I discovered that the office had closed a year earlier. I reached out to India TV, who instructed me to contact Sansui’s Mumbai office. Mumbai redirected me to their Lucknow office, which then told me to wait a week. After a week, Lucknow informed me that no local dealer had the TV model I had won, and I would need to wait further. The same story persisted with each follow-up.

When I complained to India TV, they stated that their only role was to collect the money and forward it to Sansui, leaving the responsibility of delivering the TV to Sansui. Shocked by their response, I threatened to involve the police, but they dismissed my concerns. Despite continuous efforts to resolve the issue through Sansui’s Mumbai and Lucknow offices, as well as local dealers, no solution was forthcoming. Eventually, I decided to file a complaint with the police to document my attempts to resolve the issue. However, the police at my local station were unhelpful and informed me that they couldn’t register my complaint without connections at a larger station. This response was disheartening.

Ultimately, after over six months of persistence, I received my prize by traveling to Lucknow overnight. I spent more than Rs. 1500 on phone calls and the trip, which diminished my excitement about the TV. While I was initially thrilled to win, the experience of retrieving the prize was fraught with challenges. Since then, I’ve created several videos but have refrained from sending them to India TV due to their inadequate support and handling of the situation. My experience with India TV, Sansui, and the police was deeply frustrating and disappointing.

Italian language course

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I’ve recently joined an Italian language course and am excited about the opportunity. I’ve always wanted to learn a foreign language, but in Varanasi, there haven’t been many options. BHU and Sampoornanand Sanskrit University were the only institutions offering foreign language courses, and BHU only accepts its own students, while attending Sampoornanand felt like a waste of time. Although I wasn’t particularly interested in Italian initially, I enrolled in this course because I realized that waiting for a more suitable opportunity might mean years of delay in learning a language.

My goal has always been to learn German, and Sampoornanand University does offer a six-month diploma in various foreign languages, including German. I had signed up for German classes about four years ago, but the program was poorly managed, and I was disheartened to learn that students were given certificates regardless of their performance. Eventually, I decided to stop attending. The Italian course I’m now enrolled in is conducted by Centro Risorse India, an Italian institution that not only teaches Italian to Indians but also supports Italian students in India.

I also work as a translator at Centro Risorse India’s Varanasi branch. The course consists of 50 hours of instruction, with three-hour classes on weekends. The classes are held at a school near Godowlia. The course features two teachers: an Indian woman from Delhi who also works at Centro Risorse India’s Pune center, and an Italian scholar who is fluent in Hindi. There are six students in total, including me. One of my classmates is a tour guide who works with Japanese tourists, while another is a Hindi teacher.

Our teachers are excellent. They use interactive methods rather than traditional book-based instruction, incorporating games, role-plays, and frequent speaking practice. Although the pronunciation and grammar are challenging and unfamiliar to me, I’m committed to doing my best. I’m unsure how long it will take to become proficient in speaking and writing Italian, but I’m determined to make progress and see where this journey takes me.

Driving License in India

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I got my driving license about eight years ago, but a conversation with a friend today about applying for a license reminded me of my experience at the RTO (Road Transport Office). I decided to share what happened. I was 20 years old when I applied for my driving license, which was about seven years ago. The RTO office was located 25 kilometers outside the city, and given the chaotic state of city transport, I asked my friend to take his motorbike so we could get there. Upon arriving, the RTO office was as chaotic as any other Indian government office.

The office was overcrowded, filled with people and even animals like dogs and cows wandering around. There was paan spit everywhere, making the floor look red. Touts were roaming about, looking for confused faces like mine. One of them approached me and offered to help me get a driving license, but he wanted money for his services. Although my friends had advised me to avoid the RTO office and instead buy a fake license from the market, I wanted to do things legally. I had also consulted an advocate who told me that money was key at the RTO office—spend it, and you get what you want; otherwise, you get nothing. However, I decided to navigate the process at the RTO office myself.

I declined the tout’s offer, but he persistently asked if I needed his help. I repeatedly said no. There was no clear information center, so I asked someone in the crowd about the procedure. They directed me to get a form first. We queued at the form counter, where I was surprised to see a blind person handling the forms. Despite the unconventional situation, the blind man managed the forms efficiently. I requested a form for a learning license, which costs Rs. 10, though the printed price was Rs. 2. When I returned to query the discrepancy, the blind man explained he had given me the wrong form and refunded my money, stating the correct forms were sold out.

The tout reappeared, insisting that the form was indeed Rs. 10, and I had no choice but to pay. Eventually, my friend stood in line to get the form for me. After filling it out, we proceeded to another counter to pay the fee. Although the counter was supposed to close at 2 PM, it was already closed at 1:15 PM. A lady behind the counter, munching on something, insisted her clock showed 2:15 PM. I showed her a Rs. 20 note, and she reopened the counter, allowing me to deposit the fee. Next was the written exam, which concerned me as Varanasi lacks proper traffic rule enforcement.

I saw others offering bribes to the examiner, but I decided to take the exam first and offer money if needed. The exam was manageable, and I was confident I passed. When I asked the examiner if I had passed, he confirmed I did after I indicated I hadn’t paid a bribe yet. He asked me to return in three days to check the results. When I went back after three days, I was informed that I had passed. The fee for the learning license was Rs. 100, but I bargained and paid Rs. 50. After two or three months, I returned to get my permanent license. They put me through an interview with basic questions about my vehicle registration and other details.

Although a practical driving test was supposed to be part of the process, it was not conducted. After the interview, I was told to return a week later to collect my license. When I did, I encountered another officer who asked if I was a Brahmin. After confirming, he mentioned he was also a Brahmin and lived near my home. He requested a bribe of Rs. 150, claiming he usually charged Rs. 200 but was offering me a discount due to our shared caste. I didn’t want to pay that much, so I bargained and eventually paid Rs. 75, which he accepted reluctantly, warning me not to disclose the lower amount.

While I am happy to have my license, I still think about the blind man, the counter lady, and the officer who gave me a discount because of our shared caste. Sometimes I wonder if I should have just given money to my advocate and avoided the RTO hassle. However, navigating the RTO taught me a lot about dealing with government officers in India. Despite my resolve not to bribe, I often find myself compelled to do so to get things done. I hope that technology will eventually change this system, though it may not happen in my lifetime.

Hindu at Taj Mahal’s Namaz

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I’ve always had a keen interest in various religions, particularly Islam, and recently, I had the opportunity to learn more about it. During my tour guide training in Gwalior, I shared an apartment with a Muslim man named Sana, and we’ve since become good friends. We lived together for six weeks in Gwalior, traveled together for a week in Jaipur and Agra, and I even stayed at his apartment in Delhi. I had long been curious about Namaz (the Islamic prayer) and was excited to learn more. On Eid, while staying with Sana, his friend Khesal, and Prem in Agra, we were just a five-minute walk from the Taj Mahal.

Sana is an unconventional Muslim. He once told me he was an atheist, while Khesal was a devout Muslim who would leave our training sessions to perform Namaz. Sana was quite open-minded, even about things like drinking, which is prohibited in Islam. On Eid, Sana and Khesal wanted to perform Namaz at the Taj Mahal, which offers free entry on this day. I asked if I could join them. Sana was supportive, but Khesal seemed concerned about bringing a non-Muslim to the mosque. I had discussed Namaz with Khesal the night before Eid and had some idea of what to expect, but I was both excited and a bit apprehensive.

I didn’t want to be stopped and told to leave because of my Hindu identity. Sana reassured me that everything would be fine if I followed his advice. He instructed me to hide the red thread on my wrist and to ensure my Janeu (sacred thread) wasn’t visible. Despite my excitement, I was nervous. I asked my friend Prem to join us, but he declined, citing his limited knowledge of Hinduism and his general discomfort. So, I went to the Taj Mahal for Namaz with Sana alone. I bought a handkerchief to cover my head and tried to blend in. With an estimated twenty to thirty thousand people present, I felt certain I was the only Hindu there, and as a Brahmin, I felt even more conspicuous.

When Namaz began, I was anxious about making a mistake. Sana had taught me the basics, and I was closely observing those around me. I did make a mistake, but Sana noticed and corrected me. I mistakenly recited the Gayatri Mantra instead of the Quranic verses, but I managed to complete the Namaz without drawing attention to my Brahmin background. Completing Namaz was a fulfilling experience. Sana had mentioned that regular Namaz practitioners seldom experience joint pain due to the frequent standing and bending. After performing Namaz, I ventured into the Muslim neighborhood behind the Taj Mahal and saw the festivities of the festival.

It was a wonderful experience, and I would love to learn Namaz properly in the future, especially with someone like Sana to guide and ensure my comfort.

Tourism in Amritsar

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After submitting my tour guide license documents at the India Tourism office in New Delhi, I headed to Amritsar. I had heard a lot about the flag ceremony at the Wagah India-Pakistan border, which was the main reason for my visit. I was scheduled to arrive in Amritsar on the evening of the 9th, but due to a 17-hour train delay, I reached on the afternoon of the 10th. I quickly found a hotel near the railway station, dropped off my things, and went straight to Wagah, as the parade was set to start at 4:30 PM. Although I had enough time to get there before the parade, I wanted to arrive early to get a sense of the atmosphere.

The bus dropped me about two kilometers from the border, and I had to take a rickshaw from there. I was keen on experiencing Amritsar and interacting with locals, so I chose to take the bus to engage with more people. The bus was packed, but I managed to get a seat. I arrived at the Wagah border at 3 PM, but at that time, the border was only open to traders, not the general public. Wagah border, like many tourist spots in India, had its share of touts and vendors. There weren’t many shops, but those that were there had touts. Several individuals approached me, trying to direct me to their “brother’s” restaurant or shop.

Being from Varanasi, where the tourism industry is heavily influenced by touts, I was well aware of these tactics. Since I wasn’t hungry, my rickshaw driver didn’t receive any commission. I noticed that Wagah border was one of the few places in India where time was strictly observed. The border closed for traders at 3:30 PM sharp. After the closure, tourists were allowed to queue up. There were about 3,000 people lined up to watch the parade. Some rickshaw drivers offered to get us closer to the front, which I found surprising but true. There were two gates, about 500 meters apart, with a security check in between. People chanted slogans like “Vande Mataram” and “Bharat Mata Ki Jai” with great enthusiasm.

BSF office at Wagah

It turned out that getting to the security check first was crucial for a good view of the parade. The first gate opened at 4 PM, and everyone rushed to the second gate for the security check. I was impressed by the orderly management but was taken aback when I saw two policemen on horses accompanied by a dog. I wondered about the effectiveness of such security measures, given the potential risks. Seeing wild animals around, even in high-security areas, is not uncommon in India, but it was unexpected at such a critical location. The parade began at 4:30 PM and was an unforgettable experience.

On the Indian side, there were around 3,000 to 4,000 spectators, while the Pakistani side had only about 300 to 400 attendees. This discrepancy was likely due to the vast difference in population sizes between the two countries. During the parade, people were cheering loudly for their respective sides. I spoke with locals about the purpose of the parade, and they mentioned that it aimed to bring Indians and Pakistanis closer together. However, the aggressive posturing of the soldiers seemed to contradict this intention. Despite this, I thoroughly enjoyed the parade, which lasted for 45 minutes, culminating in the lowering of the flags on both sides.

BSF flag

After the parade, I was delighted to see women serving at the border. In a predominantly male society like India, where many women are confined to traditional roles, it was inspiring to see women actively involved in border security. They appeared fit, confident, and diligent in their duties, which was a refreshing sight. Later, I visited the Golden Temple, which was magnificent and enormous. I had heard about the Sikh tradition of volunteers managing visitors’ shoes and was impressed by the organization. The volunteers at the shoe stands were efficient and dedicated. Visitors were also provided with cloth pieces to cover their heads before entering the temple. The cold weather, with temperatures dropping to around 0.8°C, made walking on the marble floors quite chilly.

The Golden temple

The Golden Temple was bustling, but the management ensured that the crowds were well-handled. I spent a few hours there, observing the activities and enjoying the Langar meal. The temple’s dedication to service and the sense of community were remarkable. After visiting the Golden Temple, I went to Jallianwala Bagh, a memorial dedicated to the massacre of 2,000 Indians during British rule. The site includes an art gallery, the well where people fell while trying to escape, and walls still bearing bullet marks. It was a somber and emotional experience, with many visitors reflecting on the brutality of the massacre.

The Golden temple

My final stop was the Maharaja Ranjit Singh Museum. Despite being a newly built facility, it lacked a power backup system, which was frustrating. After waiting for an hour due to a power outage, I explored the museum and learned about Maharaja Ranjit Singh’s life. This trip to Amritsar was highly successful and informative, allowing me to learn about Sikh religion and witness the Wagah border ceremony. Despite the cold weather, which I underestimated, the experience was enriching. Unfortunately, my train was canceled due to fog, and I had to buy a new ticket to Delhi and then to Varanasi, with a small bribe involved. Two days felt insufficient for exploring Amritsar, and I hope to return in the future.

Bullet marks

Finally received tour guide license

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I finally received my tour guide license on the 30th, marking the end of a three-year wait. I had initially applied for it in 2006. I began preparing for the entrance exam shortly after my application, but had to halt my preparations when the Tour Guide Association of India sued the Indian government over the licensing process. The association was resistant to new entrants, fearing that their established positions were at risk. Many of the existing guides had obtained their licenses when the process was simpler, and now that the requirements were stricter, the association was obstructing the changes to protect their interests.

My brother Chandan, who works as an escort, shared a humorous anecdote with me. On his last visit to Benares, he hired a government-approved tour guide for a morning boat ride. The guide spoke at length about Benares, Hinduism, and the Ganges River, emphasizing that the Ganges is revered as a mother by Hindus. However, shortly after his talk, the guide began chewing betel and spat it out into the Ganges in front of his clients. This understandably upset the clients, who questioned whether Hindus spit on their mother. The guide had no response, which reflects the kind of professionalism that should be avoided. I hope that the training I received will prevent such unprofessional behavior.

The certificate

The tour guide training program faced numerous delays due to ongoing legal battles between the Tour Guide Association of India and the government. The association initially sued as soon as the application forms were released, causing several months of delays. After the government managed to resolve the first legal issue, they conducted the entrance exam, only for the association to sue again, leading to further delays as the case was heard in the Delhi High Court. Ultimately, the government won, and the High Court directed them to resume the training program, which finally started in August 2009 after a three-year delay.

Sana and I at convocation hall

The training was conducted at IITTM in Gwalior and lasted for 16 weeks—6 weeks of classroom instruction and 10 weeks of fieldwork. The curriculum included over 75 lectures, and I wrote a research paper focusing on the cultural diversity of Benares. The program concluded with a written exam and an interview, both of which I successfully passed. I received my certificate and now need to visit the India Tourism office in Delhi with a police verification certificate to obtain a provisional license, which will be valid for two months. After this period, I should receive my permanent license (red card). I hope there will be no further issues in Delhi.

Happy moment

Arranged marriage of cousin

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My cousin’s wedding was scheduled for December 12th, and I was initially excited about it. However, I was unable to attend because I had to be in Gwalior for my tour guide training exams and interview. The wedding was on the 12th, my written exam was on the 13th, and the party was on the 16th, which was also the day of my interview. In retrospect, I’m relieved I didn’t attend, as the events surrounding the wedding turned out to be quite chaotic. My cousin, who worked at a travel agency in Delhi and was 30 years old, wanted to marry and had his parents arrange the match.

My uncle, who had a relative in Benares seeking a groom for his daughter, acted as the mediator. The wedding was set for December, after being arranged in May. Although my cousin and the bride had met secretly, as her father disapproved of pre-marital meetings, they got along well and seemed happy. However, a few days before the wedding, the bride’s father, who seemed rather superstitious, insisted on having my cousin’s horoscope rechecked by a prominent Brahmin. According to traditional beliefs, horoscopes are matched on 32 different qualities, and if fewer than 16 match, the marriage is considered inauspicious.

The bride’s father was concerned that my cousin was a “Manglik,” which supposedly posed issues related to Mars in his horoscope. Despite these concerns, the horoscope was revalidated, and the wedding proceeded as planned. On the wedding day, as the groom’s procession arrived at the bride’s home, a commotion erupted. It was discovered that the bride did not want to marry my cousin because she was in love with someone else. Her boyfriend, accompanied by an advocate, was present and expressed his wish to marry her. The bride, who had left her home just before the wedding procession arrived, took refuge at a neighbor’s house. Her father and others forcefully brought her back.

Amid the chaos, the bride continued to protest and expressed her desire to marry her boyfriend. Despite this, my cousin chose to proceed with the wedding. The bride’s family then physically assaulted the boyfriend and his supporter, imprisoning them overnight, and the marriage was forcibly conducted. The bride was quickly brought to the groom’s home, where she reiterated her feelings to my cousin and asked for his help to reunite with her boyfriend. However, my cousin insisted she accept their marriage, given the circumstances.

It’s difficult for me to understand why my cousin went through with the marriage despite knowing the situation. He often spoke of his age and his fear that he wouldn’t find a partner if he waited longer, which might have influenced his decision. I also struggle to understand why the bride didn’t disclose her relationship with her boyfriend earlier or why this issue was only addressed on the wedding day. Arranged marriages are still common in India, but there’s a growing opposition to the practice. While I don’t have an issue with arranged marriages per se, the circumstances surrounding my cousin’s wedding make me uneasy.

The situation was handled poorly, and it’s distressing to see such forceful measures taken. I’m unsure whether to hope for my cousin and his wife to work things out or consider separation, but one thing is clear: if the bride were to act on her previous desires, it would create significant problems for my cousin and his family.