Kathmandu Gay Pride 2010

Posted on August 30, 2010 by nandan

I traveled to Nepal with my friend Babu to attend the Kathmandu Gay Pride, and it was truly an unforgettable experience. We took a bus from Varanasi to Sonauli, catching the last one at 8:30 PM. It was an overnight journey, and the bus ride was quite uncomfortable. The road was terrible, and I couldn’t sleep at all. We finally arrived at the Sonauli border at 7 AM and took a pedal rickshaw to cross. I was carrying some electronics like a video camera, photo camera, and voice recorder, and I wanted to declare them at the Indian customs office.

beautiful nature

When I told Babu about declaring the electronics, he laughed and said it wasn’t necessary. However, I had experienced issues before during my first trip to Nepal in 1996. Back then, I was traveling with my family. We had a camera, which we declared at the Sonauli border and received a receipt for. Unfortunately, we lost it while in Nepal, and on our return, customs checked our baggage, found the camera, and claimed it wasn’t allowed to bring electronics from Nepal to India.

Babu at Pashupati nath temple

We were shocked when they insisted it wasn’t our camera, despite having a receipt. The customs officers were simply looking for a bribe. We ended up giving them some money to be allowed to leave. This experience stayed in my mind, which is why I didn’t want to take any chances this time. When I approached the customs office at the Sonauli border to declare my electronics, the officers laughed and said, “You’re very smart.”

Beautiful

I declared my items and got a receipt, but they again asked for a bribe for issuing it. I questioned why they were asking for a bribe now, and one officer explained it was just the system. I offered Rs. 20, but he insisted on at least Rs. 50. In the end, I gave him Rs. 40 and received my receipt. I had hoped that by declaring my electronics in advance, I could avoid any problems or corruption, but it seemed unavoidable. After obtaining the receipt, we crossed the border into Nepal.

Wooden windows

Although Nepal had been a Hindu country until a few years ago, I expected its culture to be similar to India’s. However, there was a noticeable difference right at the border: different-looking people, clothing, more working women, and different vehicles. It felt like a completely different country. The one similarity was the presence of touts trying to exploit tourists. Many approached us immediately to sell bus tickets to Kathmandu and hotel rooms.

Temple doorways

Babu warned me that these touts often lied. They claimed a bus would leave within the hour, but Babu assured me that buses typically don’t leave before 4 PM. I was skeptical until my rickshaw driver confirmed it. There are direct buses from the Sonauli border to Kathmandu, but only in the early morning or late afternoon. Luckily, Babu was with me, and I avoided the touts. We took a bus from the Sonauli border to a place called Bhairava, which was only about a 30-minute ride.

Forest

Bhairava is the largest bus station near the Sonauli border, and there are regular buses to Kathmandu. We arrived by 9 AM and learned that a bus would leave at 9:30. I noticed something peculiar: Nepal has no government bus service, so all buses are private, with no fixed fares. I wasn’t aware I was supposed to bargain for the bus fare, but Babu handled it. The counter initially quoted us Rs. 450, but we ended up paying Rs. 350.

Greenery everywhere

The bus departed at 9:30 but was stopped 15 minutes later by the army. I thought they would check everyone, but they only looked around and inspected a few bags. Surprisingly, they weren’t just searching for weapons; they were also checking for potatoes and sugar. I laughed when Babu explained that the authorities wanted to prevent smuggling these items from India, where they are cheaper. It was interesting to learn about the trade dynamics.

pashupati nath temple

Nepali buses were cramped, with little legroom. It rained continuously from Sonauli to Kathmandu, and water even came in through the windows despite being closed. I was soaked for over 12 hours on the bus. The nature in Nepal was breathtaking—clean rivers, fresh air, and lush greenery. I noticed that there seemed to be more working women in Nepal than in India. Many shops were run by women, and they appeared to be in better circumstances than their Indian counterparts.

Signboard about family violence

Nepal appeared more progressive regarding women’s rights compared to India. Women traveled alone, worked in offices, ran shops, and even drove auto rickshaws. It was refreshing to see. I was particularly struck by the number of alcohol shops run by women—something I had never encountered in India. I met a female shop owner and struck up a conversation with her.

Nepali girl

I asked her if she felt safe managing an alcohol shop alone and dealing with often-drunk male customers. She replied that running the business was no different from how any male family member would manage it. When I inquired about societal attitudes towards women in alcohol sales, she mentioned that Nepali society is quite progressive in terms of women’s rights. She had never visited India but had seen it on TV, and she didn’t seem particularly excited about it.

liberal Nepali girl

I explained to her that it’s nearly impossible to find women selling alcohol in India and that there are fewer working women overall. She was aware of the situation and pointed out that many Indian families in Nepal restrict their women from working outside the home. When I asked what Nepali people think of this, she candidly said, “Honestly, we think Indians are crazy and backward.” I was taken aback, but it’s true that, in terms of women’s rights, India has a long way to go compared to Nepal.

the most beautiful alcohol bottle I had ever seen

An alcohol bottle

The nature throughout Nepal was stunning. It was clear that the environment remains largely untouched—thick jungles, beautiful rivers, fewer industries, less traffic, and majestic mountains. I truly enjoyed the natural beauty of Nepal. I noticed only five large factories during the entire bus ride from Sonauli to Kathmandu, and two of them were Indian factories. While this means less pollution, it also means fewer jobs, which contributes to poverty.

Luxury way to travel in Nepal

Poverty in Nepal struck me deeply. Along the Sonauli-Kathmandu highway, I saw many homes and people, but what was surprising was that many seemed to be doing nothing—just sitting around and chatting. It felt like they had no work to occupy them. I encountered numerous children selling water bottles and snacks along the road. Nepal has suffered significantly from political instability in recent years, which appears to be a major cause of its poverty. The Nepalis I spoke with seemed discontent with the political situation.

Beautiful window art

Finally, we arrived in Kathmandu around 8 PM, and it was still raining. I had read about a neighborhood called Thamel, known for its hotels, and I wanted to stay there. Babu warned me that locals often give wrong directions, so he suggested asking someone at an Indian-run shop. We found a paan shop, bought a few items, and asked for directions. Fortunately, the shopkeeper was helpful, and after about a 10-minute walk and a few inquiries, we made it to Thamel.

Cremations at Pashupati Nath temple

Thamel was bustling with hotels, making it a popular spot for backpackers. We checked several hotels, but the prices were steep. Babu said we could find a room for around 500 NR, but none offered rates below 1000 INR. Eventually, we reached Annapurna Hotel, where they wanted to charge us 800 INR per night. I mentioned I was a government-approved tour guide in India, and they agreed to give me a room for 500 INR.

To be honest I did not like it at all

The hotel initially seemed nice, but we soon discovered that the pillow covers and bed sheets were used, the cable connection didn’t work, and the telephone was dead. We complained, and they promised to fix everything by the next morning, but that morning never came before we left. I wasn’t there to enjoy luxury, watch TV, or make calls from my room, so I didn’t mind too much. We went out for dinner, but most restaurants were closed by 8:30 PM. We eventually found an open restaurant and had our meal.

I had read various articles about nightlife in Nepal, including dance bars and massage centers. Some claimed it was safe, while others warned of potential dangers. Many articles described how people would spend significant money at nightclubs and face misbehavior. I also read about underage kids involved in the sex industry. Curiosity got the better of us, and we decided to visit at least one nightclub in Kathmandu.

While walking around Thamel, I noticed numerous massage parlors. As we passed one, a boy who appeared to be about 15 approached me and asked what I was looking at. I explained I was merely checking out the advertisements. He insisted that I was interested in something special. I clarified that I wasn’t looking for anything like that. He continued to follow us, offering young, beautiful girls at low prices. There were many pimps lurking around, watching tourists.

I managed to return to my hotel safely. The next day, we worked for a while, explored, and did some shopping. I missed vegetarian Indian food,

Women in Nepal and India

Posted on August 30, 2010 by nandan

I noticed that there were more working women in Nepal than in India. Most of the shops were run by women, and Nepali women seemed to be in better condition than Indian women. Nepal appeared to be more progressive in terms of women’s rights compared to India. Women were traveling alone, going to offices, running shops, and even driving auto rickshaws. They seemed more friendly with men, which looked really cool to me. I was happy to see it. I saw many alcohol shops run by women. I had never seen anything like that anywhere in India. Once, I came across an alcohol shop with a woman owner, and I decided to talk to her. I began by asking about the alcohol, and once we became friendly, I asked her about her life.

I asked her if she felt safe sitting alone at an alcohol shop and dealing with male customers who might be drunk. She told me that managing the business was just like any other male member of her family managing a business; there was no difference, so it wasn’t a problem for her. I inquired whether people in society minded women working at alcohol shops, and she said that Nepali society is very progressive regarding equal rights for women. When I asked if she had ever been to India, she replied that she had never visited but had seen India on TV. In reality, she didn’t seem excited about visiting India.

I told her that it was nearly impossible to find women selling alcohol in India and that there was a lower percentage of working women there. She said she was very well aware of the situation for women in India. She mentioned that many Indian families live in Nepal and do not allow their women to work. When I asked her what Nepali people thought of this situation, she candidly said that they think Indians are backward. I was surprised to hear this, but it is true that we are much more backward than Nepal in terms of women’s rights and equality.

The nature in Nepal was stunning. One could easily see that it is still untouched. There were beautiful thick jungles, clear rivers, fewer industries, fewer people, less traffic, and many mountains—it was just amazing. I really enjoyed the natural beauty in Nepal. I also noticed that I saw only five large factories during my entire bus ride from Sonauli to Kathmandu. In fact, two of them were Indian factories, which is nice because it means less pollution. However, this also means fewer jobs and more poverty.

Poverty in Nepal was striking. There were so many family houses along the Sonauli-Kathmandu highway, and I saw people just sitting or talking, seemingly without any work. I had never seen so many young people just hanging around and passing time. Many kids were selling water bottles and snacks on the road. Nepal has been suffering from political instability for years, which seems to be the main reason for the poverty. I don’t know if there are other reasons, but Nepalis do not seem happy with their political system.

Finally, we arrived in Kathmandu by 8 PM, and it was still raining. I had read about a neighborhood called Thamel, which is full of hotels. I wanted to stay there. I asked Babu to ask some locals for directions, but he said Nepali people are often not helpful and might not give the right directions. He suggested that I go to any shop run by an Indian and ask for directions to Thamel. We went to a paan shop, bought a few things, and fortunately, the owner was kind enough to give us the correct directions. It took us about 10 minutes of walking, and after asking a few more people, we finally arrived.

We reached Thamel, which was bustling with hotels; in fact, it is the most popular neighborhood in Nepal for backpackers. We checked several hotels, but their prices seemed too steep. Babu mentioned that we could easily find a hotel room for 500 NR, but none of them wanted to charge us less than 1000 NR. Eventually, we found a place called Annapurna Hotel, where they initially wanted to charge us 800 NR per night. I told them that I was a government-approved tour guide in India and usually receive discounts. They agreed to give me a room for 500 NR.

The hotel seemed nice at first, but later we realized that the pillow covers and bed sheets were used, the cable connection wasn’t working properly, and the telephone was dead. We complained and were promised that everything would be fixed by the next morning, but that morning never came before we left. In any case, I wasn’t there to enjoy luxury, watch TV, or make phone calls, so I didn’t mind too much. We went out for dinner, but most of the shops were closed by 8:30 PM. We finally found an open restaurant and had our dinner there.

I had read several articles about nightlife in Nepal, including dance bars and massage centers. Many articles claimed that the nightlife was safe, while others described it as crazy and dangerous. Several articles mentioned how people spent a few hours at a nightclub, had a few beers and dinner, and ended up paying Rs. 40,000-50,000 for misbehavior. Some articles talked about how 14-15-year-olds are involved in the sex industry and work as pimps. I was curious about what was going on and decided we should visit at least one nightclub while in Kathmandu.

While wandering in Thamel, I noticed many massage parlors. As we passed one shop with a sign for massage services, I pointed it out to Babu. Suddenly, a boy who looked about 15 approached me and asked what I was looking at. I told him I was just observing the advertisements, but he insisted I was looking for something else, something special. I assured him I was just browsing. He asked again if I needed a special service, and I replied that I did not.

We walked away, but the boy kept following us, asking if we needed a girl. He offered young, beautiful girls at very low prices. He wasn’t alone; there were many pimps around watching tourists. Nevertheless, I managed to return to my hotel safely. The next day, we worked for a while, explored, and did some shopping. It was a nice experience, although I really missed vegetarian Indian food since it seemed to be meat everywhere. On the plus side, drinks were readily available, so I enjoyed trying different kinds of alcohol.

I wanted to use an ATM in Kathmandu but was concerned about international transaction fees. However, Babu informed me that a few Indian banks, like the State Bank of India and Punjab National Bank, have ATMs in Kathmandu. I found a State Bank of India ATM near Darbar Square, used it, and didn’t pay any transaction fees. I would recommend anyone with an Indian bank card to look for Indian bank ATMs in Kathmandu. Phone calls to India were also very cheap; I paid only Rs. 1 per minute.

Since we were interested in visiting a nightclub in Kathmandu, we gathered information online. Fortunately, I met a guy at the NGO where I was supposed to work who was a male prostitute. Who could provide better information about nightlife than him? I asked him about it, and he advised against visiting nightclubs in Kathmandu, stating they are not safe for tourists. He echoed what I had read online, so we decided not to visit any nightclubs.

We visited a few temples, markets, and participated in Kathmandu Gay Pride. Eventually, my time in Kathmandu came to an end, and we needed to head home. Babu informed me that there were overnight buses from Kathmandu to Sonauli until 10 PM. We arrived at the bus station around 8 PM, but all the buses had already left. They told us the last bus was at 7 PM. So we had dinner, stayed at a hotel near the bus station, and took an early morning bus to Sonauli, followed by another bus from Sonauli to Varanasi. It was a successful journey full of learning, and I plan to return to Kathmandu sometime for a longer stay.

Varanasi tours

Posted on August 10, 2010 by nandan

I recently worked with a travel agency as a mute guide for an Italian group. The group already had an escort who knew Varanasi very well, but he didn’t have a tourist guide license, so I was hired to accompany the group as their mute guide. I had previously worked with many tourists as a tour guide in Varanasi, all of whom were my direct clients, but I had no experience working with a group traveling through a travel agency, so I was excited to take on this opportunity.

I was asked to meet the group at Sarnath, where they would arrive directly from the airport. When I met them, the escort instructed me to stay with him at all the entrance points of the monuments. The group first visited the Sarnath ruins, and I saw the escort explaining something in Italian for about 10-15 minutes. Then he gave the clients free time and came back to me. The clients were left to wander around the ruins on their own, which seemed like a nice idea to me.

After the ruins, we headed to the museum, where the escort explained only four statues before giving the clients more free time and returning to me. Once again, the clients were alone. I asked him if he had checked with the clients about whether they wanted his company or preferred to explore on their own. He replied that he never asks; he just tells them in a very professional way to go explore the place independently. This sounded a little strange to me. I also give my clients free time, but I ask them first. Still, I wasn’t sure if my approach was better than his, especially since the clients never seemed to complain.

After visiting the museum, we headed straight to the hotel, which surprised me because the clients did not get to visit the Buddha Temple and the Bodhi Tree—both significant places for Buddhists and Hindus. In fact, these are the only places where you see people actively participating in rituals, which seemed more interesting than visiting a museum or ruins. Nonetheless, the clients didn’t complain, likely because they were unaware of these important sites.

After checking in at the hotel, the clients had an hour to get ready for their visit to Dashashwamedh Ghat. I finally met them again at Dashashwamedh Ghat, where a boat was waiting for us. We took the boat to Manikarnika Ghat to see the cremation ground. We spent hardly ten minutes there before heading back to Dashashwamedh Ghat for the evening ceremony. After the ceremony, the clients returned to the hotel, and I went home.

The next morning, I met them again for a boat ride at 5 AM. We enjoyed about an hour on the river before walking through the narrow alleys of Varanasi and visiting Vishwanath Temple (The Golden Temple). The clients entered the temple with the escort while I waited outside. After their visit, the tour concluded. It was a unique experience for me, but I couldn’t help but think about those poor clients who spent only 20 hours in Varanasi—12 of which were in the hotel, 3 in the bus, and hardly 5 exploring a city where one could easily spend three to four days, and even that might not be enough.

After the tour, one of the clients asked the escort to take him to the old city because he wanted to photograph the people and their daily lives. The escort asked me to take him to the Dashashwamedh Ghat area but instructed me not to take the client further away and to give him some free time. We took an autorickshaw to the area, but as soon as I got off the vehicle, I asked the client if he wanted to go alone or if he wanted me to accompany him. I could see he was confused.

He asked me to come along, so I took him to Dashashwamedh Ghat, then to the vegetable market, and finally walked through the alleys where the real life of Varanasi was happening. The client was surprised, shocked, and happy. He told me he had never seen a place like the one I showed him. He took many pictures and asked a lot of innocent questions, making it clear that he didn’t know much about India. When we reached the vegetable market, he asked if it was for people living in the slums. I told him that this is how our vegetable markets are everywhere, and he said he hadn’t seen anything like it during his entire trip.

Once, I asked the escort how much the travel agency charged the clients, and I was shocked to hear that they paid about Rs. 20,000 ($500) per day per person. With six people in the group, that totaled Rs. 1,20,000 ($3,000) for just 5 hours of travel and accommodation in a Taj hotel. They didn’t even visit the Buddha Temple, the Bodhi Tree, or see people going about their daily lives along the river—experiences that I think are the most interesting for foreign visitors to Varanasi. I feel sorry for tourists like that, but maybe they prefer it that way; who knows? Nonetheless, it was a valuable experience for me to work with them.

Pragyabodh

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Monthly Archives: August 2010

Kathmandu Gay Pride 2010

Women in Nepal and India

Varanasi tours