Tag Archives: varanasi

Condom

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I believe condoms are one of the greatest inventions of science—one of its most significant gifts to us. Despite their importance, many people still do not use them, and what prompted me to write this post is the embarrassment some people feel when buying condoms. I find it perplexing why so many are shy about purchasing them. Why is it so difficult to say the word “condoms”? People often go into shops intending to buy condoms but end up leaving with something else, like candies, because they can’t bring themselves to ask for condoms.

One of my close friends got married last year, and I gave him a large packet of condoms as a gift. A few days after his wedding, he called me urgently, saying he needed to meet immediately. Although I was far from home, he insisted it was very important, so I hurried back to meet him. When I arrived, he was still waiting at the spot where he had called me. I was worried something serious had happened, but when we met, he took me aside and confessed that he needed me to buy condoms for him.

I was initially taken aback, thinking he was joking, but he was completely serious. He had waited an hour for me because he was too embarrassed to buy condoms himself. He explained that he felt uncomfortable asking for them because all the shopkeepers in his neighborhood knew him personally. I told him that the shopkeepers knew he was newly married and, therefore, expected him to buy condoms at some point. So, I didn’t understand why he was so embarrassed. Nevertheless, he remained uncomfortable with the idea of buying them.

I asked where he had been getting condoms for the past few days since my gift wasn’t going to last forever. He told me he had been traveling to a different neighborhood to make his purchases. I tried to encourage him to buy condoms himself and suggested he go to the store. However, he still hesitated. Eventually, I took him to a shop and told him just to stand there while I made the purchase for him. The amusing part was that he ran away before I even reached the store.

He frequently asks me for advice on how to dispose of used condoms. I’ve suggested various methods, but he refuses to follow any of them. I told him to wrap them up and throw them in the trash bin, but he worries that his family might discover that he uses condoms. I recommended disposing of them in a public trash bin, but he fears that his neighbors might find out. I even suggested flushing them down the toilet, but he is still concerned about his family.

When I saw him a few days ago, I asked if he had started buying condoms on his own. He admitted that he no longer uses them because he found it too difficult to both purchase and dispose of them. I still want him to use condoms, and I’m trying to find ways to make him more comfortable with both buying and disposing of them. However, I doubt he will ever get over his reluctance, even though he enjoys discussing the topic. For him, it remains a challenging task.

The second story involves another friend of mine who runs a convenience store. I visit his shop every day, but I was unaware that he sold condoms because they were always hidden. A few days ago, I noticed the packets and bought a few. Since I pay him monthly, he was supposed to record the purchase in his register. However, he didn’t do so because he was uncomfortable with noting that I had bought condoms. I couldn’t understand his reasoning.

I have discussed this with him more than five times, but he insists on not recording it. He is embarrassed that his father or other family members might discover that he sells condoms. Although it doesn’t make much sense to me, it’s his reality. Eventually, he tallied the amount for the condoms I bought and wrote it down as if I had purchased coconut oil instead. So, I have one friend who is too shy to buy condoms, and another who is too shy to sell them.

These issues are significant problems in a country like India, where the number of HIV cases is rapidly increasing. Solving such problems is crucial for improving public health awareness and combating the spread of HIV. Varanasi is the largest consumer of condoms in Uttar Pradesh, but in this city, condoms are not primarily used for birth control or to prevent STDs. Instead, they are used in the weaving process. Approximately 600,000 condoms are sold in Varanasi every day, and the majority of them are utilized for weaving. Artisans rub condoms on the loom’s shuttle to make the weaving process smoother and more efficient.

Over 90% of weavers in Varanasi are Muslims. If the same people who use condoms for weaving were to start using them for birth control, it could lead to significant changes in India. Just as condoms speed up the weaving process, they could accelerate our development if used more widely for family planning. By learning to utilize condoms for their intended purpose, we could see broader societal benefits.

Brain drain in India

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The title of this post is “Upside Down” because it reflects how quality is often disregarded while mediocrity is upheld by both our people and our government. First, I want to talk about my brother, who is an Italian interpreter working for a major travel agency in India. Based in Delhi, he has been interpreting and escorting Italian tourists and researchers for the past two years. Though he doesn’t have an official tour guide license, he possesses extensive knowledge and experience. Many Italian travel agencies recommend him for their groups.

He started with a small group of just two people and has since progressed to leading groups of up to sixty. Despite his success, he must hire a government-authorized tour guide in each city he visits with his clients, as non-licensed individuals are not allowed to work independently. These guides are supposed to be passive, merely providing protection. However, many government-authorized guides resent him because he handles large groups, while they are stuck with smaller ones. Last week, at Jama Masjid in Delhi, licensed guides stopped him at the entrance.

They demanded to see his license, which he didn’t have, even though he was accompanied by a licensed guide. When asked if this guide spoke Italian, the answer was no, as he was an English-speaking guide. Despite the fact that all licensed guides hold the same credentials and are not required to speak specific languages, the government guides insisted on an Italian-speaking guide for my brother’s group, seemingly to obstruct him. At the same time, another group from my brother’s agency arrived with an Italian-speaking guide, but he was unable to work due to the same restrictions.

This pattern repeated in Rajasthan, where he faced similar issues and had to find an Italian-speaking government-authorized guide. Frustrated, my brother has decided to stop working in this field for now. He plans to continue with a few prearranged groups but is considering leaving the profession entirely. He is now transitioning to operations, a field he has no prior experience in. He feels compelled to learn something new, as government guides may continue to obstruct his work in the future. Although I’m confident in his ability to find another job due to his intelligence, I am concerned about the state of the tourism industry.

It’s disheartening to see a knowledgeable and experienced professional sidelined while outdated and less competent individuals are given support. This situation is truly “Upside Down.” Another story involves a relative of mine who is twenty-four years old and has always aspired to a life of crime rather than education. Despite being arrested multiple times, his father, who works at Sampurnanand Sanskrit university in Varanasi, managed to secure 10th and 12th grade certificates for him through bribery. He also obtained a graduation degree for his son from his own university, all without the son ever attending school.

The father then enrolled him in a B.Ed. course at a university in Gujarat, again through bribery, bypassing the admission tests. The son continues his criminal activities while his academic record remains intact. The father believes he can secure a government teaching job for his son through further bribery. Last year, I saw a newspaper advertisement for a peon position at the Benares municipality. The job required only an 8th-grade certificate and knowledge of bicycle riding. However, many candidates with Master’s and Ph.D. degrees applied for the position, illustrating the scarcity of jobs for highly educated individuals. Ultimately, the municipality hired these highly educated candidates as peons.

These overqualified individuals will now ride bicycles and monitor illegal construction sites, despite their extensive education. Their qualifications have not translated into the jobs they expected, and I suspect they will resort to bribery to supplement their meager salaries. Thus, a man who never attended school will become a teacher, while those with advanced degrees end up in lowly positions. It’s ironic to think about what the unqualified relative might teach—perhaps lessons in corruption or violence—while highly educated individuals are relegated to menial tasks. This situation epitomizes the concept of being “Upside Down.”

Corrupt Policing in India

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I witnessed something truly bizarre recently, which might be considered quite unusual even for an Indian. While I was sitting in an auto rickshaw, the driver was pulled over by a policeman who then sat next to me. Typically, police officers don’t pay for transportation, whether it’s an auto, bus, or train. After a few minutes of driving, another individual tried to stop our auto, but the driver refused. He explained that this person was also an auto rickshaw driver and was looking for a free ride. The other driver was furious and began shouting loudly.

We encountered this irate driver again near the railway station. He had arrived ahead of us, parked his auto, and was waiting for us. This time, our driver stopped, and the angry driver approached, grabbing the policeman by the collar and hurling abuses at him. I, along with the others in the auto, was shocked to see an auto rickshaw driver berating a policeman so publicly. The second driver claimed that the policeman had tried to ride in his auto without paying, and when he refused due to his auto being full, the policeman had slapped him.

It seemed the policeman had come to our auto after this incident. The driver continued to yell at the policeman, demanding to know why he was slapped, while the policeman merely replied that he would deal with him later and threatened to arrest him. The driver then accused the policeman of routinely sitting in his auto without paying. He boldly said, “Do I give you Rs. 10 every time I drive to the railway station to get abused?” He revealed that police officers would charge him Rs. 10 each time he drove to the railway station, a practice that he had endured for a long time. The policeman, caught off guard by this revelation, fell silent.

The driver’s response was impressive. Another rickshaw driver shared that police officers have set rates for different routes, with drivers in the downtown area paying Rs. 60. Trucks and tractors are banned from entering the city center after 8 a.m., but they frequently do so by paying bribes to the police, who stop them at every intersection but only for show. As I watched the altercation unfold, I was quite entertained by the driver’s defiance. However, to my surprise, a few other bystanders started siding with the policeman.

Despite widespread knowledge of police corruption and harassment, these people began supporting the officer. The policeman seemed emboldened by their support and became more assertive. The crowd, now favoring the policeman, urged the driver to move and let the policeman go. Eventually, the auto rickshaw driver relented, and the policeman, now with the support of a crowd of over fifty people, was let go. As the station approached, the policeman got out of the auto without paying the fare, just as he had done before.

It was striking to witness such shameless behavior. The driver will likely face repercussions for his actions, but his bold response to the policeman was remarkable. It’s a stark reminder of the kind of bravery we need to tackle the most dangerous kind of corruption in India—often embodied by those in positions of authority like the police.

Meeting advocate for tour guide lawsuit

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I went to Delhi on the 9th to be involved in the case against the Ministry of Tourism for failing to start the tour guide training program in 2008. The training was supposed to commence on October 6th but was delayed due to a lawsuit filed by the Guide Association of Jaipur, which challenged the government’s plan for organizing the training differently from their own. My arrival in Delhi was delayed by three hours due to the train being late, and I was only able to meet with the advocate because he was busy with another client.

I had planned to get my laptop and camera serviced and to take photos of the plastic waste around Delhi, but the train delay thwarted these plans. Upon reaching Delhi around noon, instead of the planned 9 a.m., I went to the High Court to meet the advocate. He was occupied with a significant matter and I had to wait in his office for over two hours. During this time, I overheard that he was dealing with a case involving the Deputy Commissioner of Police (DCP) concerning extra income beyond his official salary.

It seemed the Central Bureau of Investigation (CBI) was also involved, indicating the DCP’s significant corruption. DCPs typically earn around twenty thousand rupees in salary, but they often possess expensive cars, bungalows, and other luxuries. If those at the top are corrupt, it’s likely that those beneath them are as well, since bribes generally flow through the lower ranks before reaching the higher-ups. When I finally met the advocate, I was surprised to find that a young High Court advocate, probably in his 30s or 40s, was struggling with basic computer tasks.

He took ten to fifteen minutes just to type my name and address and printed the wrong documents multiple times. Despite my offer to type the information myself, I chose to watch him navigate the computer issues. Eventually, after an hour of watching him struggle, my paperwork was completed. He asked me to call him on the 22nd to discuss the court’s judgment. His fee was Rs. 3,000, which was Rs. 1,000 more than the Rs. 2,000 he charged last time for a similar case. Despite the extra cost, it seemed reasonable if it meant securing the permit. He promised to appeal to the court to issue a license valid until the training program begins.

Previously, the permit was only valid for one month, requiring frequent trips to Delhi for renewals. I hope this time will be different. After leaving the High Court, I walked to Connaught Place and spent some time observing the modern people of India. It struck me that there is a growing issue with obesity, likely influenced by western fast food and soft drinks, despite the higher literacy rates in big cities compared to smaller ones. I saw many well-dressed people in luxury cars throwing trash out of their windows, which highlights the need for significant changes in our education system.

I had planned to photograph the plastic waste near the railway tracks but couldn’t due to the foggy weather. I had already taken a few photos earlier in the morning. Although the trip wasn’t entirely successful, I don’t regret going to Delhi, especially since I will likely obtain the license.

Another case against tour guide training

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It now appears that completing the guide training program will be delayed by another year. The Guide Association of Jaipur has filed another lawsuit against the government, demanding that the training be organized exactly as it was previously done for them. Their training consisted of three and a half months of classes followed by a fifteen-day orientation tour. This time, the proposed training includes forty-five days of classes, a fifteen-day orientation tour, and two months of research. I believe this updated training program is an improvement over the previous one.

The Jaipur association has alleged that some candidates in this year’s program have submitted fraudulent documents. They are demanding that the government verify each document with the relevant authorities. It seems their primary goal is to delay the training as much as possible. They are likely trying to prevent new guides from working during the 2010 Commonwealth Games, which is expected to attract around ten million tourists to India.

Due to the postponement of our training, this year’s candidates are planning to sue the government again for not starting the program. I received a call from the advocate handling the lawsuit, who informed me that the government will issue temporary licenses to all candidates who were scheduled to receive training this year. I will need to travel to Delhi to obtain this temporary license. While I am uncertain how long it will take to receive the permanent license, the constant trips to Delhi and the advocate’s fees are becoming quite overwhelming.

Effect of inflation on celebration of Diwali

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Inflation is severely impacting India these days. Everything is at least twice as expensive as it used to be. Diwali was yesterday, but it didn’t feel like the Diwali of five or six years ago. Typically, people buy lots of crackers, new clothes, and bring something new into their homes, but this year, it was quite different. It seemed like most people just stayed at home, cooked food, and decorated their homes. Very few people set off fireworks. While it’s beneficial for the environment to have fewer crackers, something still felt missing.

Many people avoided buying crackers this year because of the high prices. Normally, the chemicals used to make crackers are imported from China, where they are relatively cheap. However, this year, China used most of these chemicals for the Olympics, leading to delays in supply to India. As a result, Indian factories had to source the chemicals locally, driving up the cost significantly. Consequently, crackers became at least twice as expensive.

The primary reason behind the reduced use of crackers is the overall rise in living costs in India. People are struggling financially and are prioritizing their essential needs over celebrations. For instance, I bought tomatoes for Rs. 50 per kilo, which is unprecedentedly high. Uncle Udo mentioned that tomatoes cost Rs. 70-80 per kilo in Germany, so while the prices are somewhat comparable, the income disparity between the two countries is enormous.

I understand that agricultural products tend to be more expensive in developed countries, but the situation here is still troubling. I spoke to many people about their Diwali celebrations, and most of them said it was lackluster due to inflation. If this trend continues, many middle-class families could fall into poverty again.

Diwali 2008

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Yesterday was Diwali, and I had a fantastic time celebrating. I had invited a few Couchsurfers to join the festivities—two students from the US and two travelers from the UK. They arrived at my home around 6 o’clock, and we spent some time sharing our travel experiences in India. Later, my Uncle Udo joined us. My mother started the evening with a puja, and then we decorated the entire house with candles. Typically, I don’t buy or light fireworks, but this year I had plenty because some friends had brought them.

We went up to the roof to set off the crackers. It was the first time in fifteen years that I had fired crackers myself. I’m not a fan of fireworks because they pollute the atmosphere. The smoke from the crackers was noticeable, and I prefer decorating with candles, enjoying good food, and hosting dinner parties. Many people in Varanasi gamble during Diwali night, and although I gambled for the first time last year at Bunti’s family place, I couldn’t make it this year despite their invitation. Diwali is particularly significant for Aghoris, who perform a special puja at a cremation ground between midnight and 1 a.m.

I was keen to witness this but missed it again this year because the person who was supposed to accompany me didn’t call. I waited for him, but by the time it was past 1 o’clock, it was too late to go. After firing the crackers, we had a delicious dinner with plenty of sweets—it was a delightful evening. I had heard warnings about foreign girls facing threats in Varanasi after dark, but I hadn’t taken them seriously, thinking they were exaggerated. However, when Abbie and Emily, the US students, expressed concern about walking back to their guesthouse alone, I accompanied them. This experience made me realize that the guidebooks were right.

As we walked, people commented on the foreign girls. Some offered them crackers to light, others complimented their looks, and a few tried to harass them. It was overwhelming and eye-opening. I had never encountered such behavior around the Assi neighborhood before; perhaps it is more prevalent in the downtown area. Despite the unwanted attention, they eventually reached their guesthouse safely, and I returned home.

First Kiwi guest at home

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About three months ago, a 55-year-old man from Auckland contacted me through Couchsurfing. He wanted information about Varanasi and expressed a desire to travel with someone. He even asked if I would be interested in being his tour guide for all of India. I was thrilled and immediately agreed to the offer. However, he later informed me that he had found many hosts in India, so he canceled his plan to hire me as his tour guide. We stayed in touch online over the next few months, and he finally arrived in Varanasi on the 6th.

I went to meet him at his hotel, where he gave me an iPod and a coat as gifts. He was interested in experiencing general Indian life, so he wanted to stay at my place. However, since he had already booked the hotel for two nights, he planned to come to my home after that. During Navratri, I took him on a tour of Varanasi. My friends and I usually visit the pandals during the night, so I took Chris along. We spent the whole night exploring and returned home around 3 a.m.

After his two-night hotel stay, Chris came to stay at my place. He was interested in visiting a local church to buy old vestments and other items used by churches in Varanasi. We went to the cantonment church, which is only 15 years old. Chris wanted to meet the bishop, but he was not in Varanasi. Instead, we met his assistant, who informed us that they did not have any old items. He suggested churches in Mumbai, Goa, and South India as alternatives.

Chris stayed with me for 15 days, though he originally planned to stay only 10. He had to extend his stay because he fell ill. He mentioned that he had eaten a samosa from a street vendor and became very sick, suffering from diarrhea, vomiting, and headaches. I took him to a doctor, but his condition did not improve, so he requested to be admitted to a hospital. I took him to Heritage Hospital, where the doctors said it was not an emergency case and did not want to admit him. However, Chris insisted on staying.

The hospital charged Rs. 15,000 (about US $400) for the services. I was shocked at the high cost for treating diarrhea. Chris was admitted to a special ward for two days. The charges included Rs. 3,500 per day for the room, Rs. 600 for the doctor’s visit, and various other fees that seemed arbitrary. Although I had heard about the $100 handshake in US hospitals, I was surprised to find a similar system in my own town. I asked Lane about it, and he noted that it was still cheaper than Western hospitals.

One interesting aspect was that everyone in the hospital was eager to know if Chris had health insurance. When I asked the doctor why this was important, he explained that foreigners usually have insurance, and the hospital charges them extra if they do. This practice seemed illegal to me, but it was conducted openly, like many other illicit activities in India. They were not even embarrassed to admit it.

After two days, Chris was eager to leave. He complained that the nurses neglected him, didn’t change his drip, failed to provide medicine, and didn’t offer food. I spoke with the doctor, who insisted that Chris stay for at least two more days. However, Chris was determined to leave, so the doctor agreed to discharge him with a few medicines. Chris was relieved to return home and left for Mumbai on the 24th.

Pittsburgh girl studies Hindi

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A girl named Abbie from Pittsburgh reached out to me through Couchsurfing, inquiring about Hindi classes in Varanasi. I recommended she contact Mr. Virendra Singh. Although she had previously written to Bhasha Bharti, she hadn’t received a response. I asked Mr. Singh if he had availability for another student, and fortunately, he had an hour free. At the time, Abbie was still in Bhopal, so I advised her to get in touch with me once she arrived in Varanasi. I also thought it would be beneficial for her to meet Udo, another Hindi student staying at my place.

Abbie called me on the 21st. I invited her to my home to introduce her to Udo, but he was out at the time. Instead, I took her to Mr. Singh’s place. After meeting him, Abbie decided she would like to continue her Hindi studies with him for the rest of her time in India. Although she had already studied Hindi for three months in Indore, she felt she hadn’t learned much because her teacher there was a mathematics teacher, not a qualified Hindi instructor.

After her initial lesson with Mr. Singh, Abbie traveled to Khajuraho but plans to return by next Monday. With three months left in India, she has ample time to learn basic Hindi. I hope she makes good progress with Mr. Singh. Although she had hoped to stay at my place, I was unable to host her as all my rooms were already booked. Instead, she is staying at Ganga Yogi Lodge near Sonarpura, which fits her budget.

Why do people travel?

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In the past month, I met six Couchsurfing members, and I was surprised to find that four of them seemed unclear about the purpose of their travels. They spent most of their time sleeping and relaxing in their guesthouse rooms. Among them were two Germans and two Americans. The German visitors stayed in Benares for four days but didn’t explore much. They missed out on key experiences like Aarti and walks along the ghats, and only briefly watched a funeral without showing much interest in Aarti or Sarnath.

The American travelers were students. One of them was studying Urdu at an institute in Lucknow for a research project on Hindu-Muslim tensions. I was eager to learn more about her research, but unfortunately, I had to leave for Gwalior the day I met her. The other American was learning Hindi with Virendra Singh and had been living in Varanasi for a month. The Urdu student knew about Aarti but was unaware of Sarnath, while the Hindi student knew about Sarnath but hadn’t heard of Aarti. He had never even visited Godaulia, the downtown area of Benares. I’m unsure how he spent his time over the past month.

After finally seeing Aarti, he remarked that it was possibly the most impressive part of Benares for him. Natasha, the Urdu student, also enjoyed Aarti and decided to visit Sarnath the following day. Swami Vivekananda once said that if you have free time, traveling is a great way to utilize it because it allows you to learn about different cultures, engage with people, and make the world a better place. I believe that travel should be about learning and experiencing new things, but the individuals I met seemed to be traveling merely because they had extra time and money, or perhaps to boast about their travels. They could have gained similar knowledge and insights by spending time online in their own countries. I’m still puzzled about their real purpose for traveling.