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वाराणसी में कोरोना टेस्ट Corona test in Varanasi

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कोरोना महामारी को शुरू हुए अब लगभग एक साल से ज्यदा बीत गया है और भाग्यवश मैं इस वर्ष मार्च तक इस इन्फेक्शन से बचा ही रहा लेकिन अंततः 18 मार्च को मैं भी Covid पॉजिटिव हो ही गया. जबसे कोविड आया है तबसे अमूमन लोग सफ़र करने से बच रहे हैं लेकिन मुझे लीवर ट्रांसप्लांट के बाद से रेगुलर फॉलोअप के लिए महीने में एक बार ILBS हॉस्पिटल, दिल्ली जाना ही होता है. मार्च में मेरा फॉलोअप 17 तारीख को था जिसके लिए मैं 15 तारीख को ही दिल्ली पहुच गया था. बनारस से दिल्ली का सफ़र मैंने ट्रेन से तय किया था और 15 तारीख को ही हॉस्पिटल में अपना कोविड का जांच करवा लिए थे जिसमे मेरी रिपोर्ट नेगेटिव थी तथा ये रिपोर्ट 3 दिन के लिए मान्य होती है. बिना कोविड नेगेटिव की रिपोर्ट के कोई भी ILBS में डॉक्टर से नहीं मिल सकता है.

अंततः मैं 17 तारीख को अपने डॉक्टर से मिल कर 18 तारीख को बनारस वापस आ गया. उस समय तक मुझे कोई परेशानी नहीं थी. 18 तारीख को मुझे कुछ जरूरी काम होने की वजह से दिन भर बहुत ज्यादा व्यस्तता थी और मैं बिना किसी दिक्कत परेशानी के दिन भर काम किया. अंततः शाम को खाना बनाते मैंने एक बात नोटिस किया की उस रोज मुझे सब्जी में से मसलों की कोई सुगंध नहीं आ रही थी एक बार तो मैंने सोचा की शायद मैं सब्जी में मसाला डालना ही भूल गया जिसकी वजह से सब्जी में कोई सुगंध नहीं है लेकिन फिर मैंने सोचा की अगर मैंने मसाला नहीं भी डाला है तो भी कोई तो सुगंध होनी चाहिए. मैंने कई बार सब्जी का सुगंध लेनें का कोशिश किया लेकिन मैं कुछ भी सूंघ नहीं सकता था.

उसके बाद मैंने परफ्यूम सूंघने का कोशिश किया लेकिन मेरे लिए उसमे भी कोई सुगंध नहीं था. फिर उसके बाद अपने कमरे में रूम फ्रेशनर छिड़क कर देखे लेकिन उसमे भी कोई सुगंध नहीं था. तब मैंने सोचा की शायद ट्रेन में सफर के दौरान मुझे सर्दी-जुकाम हो गया है जिसके लिए मैंने गर्म पानी में विक्स मिला कर भाप लेने का कोशिश किया लेकिन तब भी वही परिणाम – मुझे गर्म पानी में मिले विक्स तक की सुगंध नहीं आ रही थी और तब मुझे अंदाज़ हो गया था की कुछ तो गड़बड़ है. उसी दम मैं अपने परिवार के लोगों से अलग हो गया और अपने आप को एक अलग कमरे में आइसोलेट कर लिया. अगले दिन सुबह होते ही जानकारी इकठ्ठा करने पर मालूम चला की BHU और कुछ एक सरकारी अस्पतालों में कोविड की फ्री जांच हो रही है.

सर्वप्रथम मैंने मेरे घर के पास भेलूपुर में स्थित विवेकानंद सरकारी अस्पताल में संपर्क किया तो उस दिन वहां टेस्ट नहीं हो रहा था क्योकि उस दिन उत्तर प्रदेश सरकार की तरफ से स्वास्थ मेले का आयोजन किया गया था और वही पर सारे कर्मचारी व्यस्त थे. मुझे वहां से कबीरचौरा हॉस्पिटल जाने की सलाह दी गयी. फिर मैं कबीरचौरा हॉस्पिटल गया लेकिन वहां की भयावह स्थिति देखकर मुझे वहां टेस्ट करवाने की हिम्मत नहीं हुई. सर्वप्रथम तो कोई ये भी बताने वाला नहीं था की वहां टेस्ट हो कहाँ रहा है. बहुत खोजने पर हॉस्पिटल के निकासी द्वार पर एक पीपल के पेंड के नीचे दो लोग बैठे दिखे जो covid का टेस्ट कर रहे थे. न ही उनमे से किसी ने PPE किट पहना था और नहीं किसी प्रकार के covid प्रोटोकॉल का पालन किया जा रहा था.

ये सब देखकर मैं वहां से बिना टेस्ट करवाए ही लौट आया. मैंने सोचा की किसी प्राइवेट लैब में ही टेस्ट करवा लूँगा. सबसे पहले मैं Pathkind लैब में गया जहाँ मुझे बोला गया सैंपल लेने के 24 घंटे बाद रिपोर्ट आएगी. फिर मैं Lalpath गया जहाँ और विचित्र स्थिति थी. वहां मुझसे बोला गया की आप 900 रूपये जमा कर के जाइए और कल शाम को हमारा आदमी आपके घर जायेगा सैंपल लेने और फिर उसके 24 घंटे बाद रिपोर्ट आएगी . मैंने बोला की मैं खुद अपनी जांच करवाना चाहता हूँ और उनके लैब में उपलब्ध हूँ तो फिर मेरा सैंपल तुरंत क्यों नहीं लिया जा सकता. तो वो लोग बोले की कोविड का सैंपल घर से ही लिया जायेगा और वो भी कल, कोई दूसरा रास्ता नहीं. मुझे लगा की यदि 2 दिन इंतज़ार ही करना है तो फिर मैं फ्री वाली जांच ही क्यों न करवा लूं .

इसके बाद मैंने बीएचयू में काम करने वाले अपने एक रिश्तेदार को मदद के लिए फ़ोन किया. उसने बोला की मैं शाम 4बजे के बाद आकर कभी भी बीएचयू में टेस्ट करवा सकता हूँ. तभी मेरे पड़ोस में रहने वाले अलोक भईया (जो की स्वास्थ विभाग के कर्मचारी हैं) उनका फोन आया और वो बोले की स्वास्थ मेला में भी कोविड का जांच हो रहा है और मुझे वहां जाना चाहिए. मैं तुरंत स्वास्थ मेला में गया जहाँ कोविड टेस्ट कराने की भी सुविधा थी और वहां मेरा रैपिड एंटीजन और RTPCR दोनों टेस्ट हो गया. रैपिड एंटीजन टेस्ट को एक किट पर करते हैं तथा उसकी रिपोर्ट तुरंत आ जाती है. मेरा रैपिड टेस्ट की रिपोर्ट निगेटिव आई जो की एक बहुत बड़ा सुकून देने वाली खबर थी. लेकिन उसी समय अलोक भईया बोले की रैपिड टेस्ट पर पूरी तरह विश्वास नहीं कर सकते, कई बार इसकी रिपोर्ट निगेटिव आती है लेकिन RTPCR में पॉजिटिव रिपोर्ट आ जाती है.

स्वास्थ मेला में टेस्ट करा कर वहां से थोड़ी दूर चलते ही मेरे रिश्तेदार का फ़ोन आ गया और वो बोला की बीएचयू आ जाइए. फिर वहां से सीधे मैं बीएचयू चला गया और वहां भी RTPCR का सैंपल दे आया. मेरे पहुचने से पहले ही टोनी मेरा रजिस्ट्रेशन करा कर रखा था जिसकी वजह से मुझे लाइन में नहीं लगना पड़ा. मेरे वहां पहुचते ही तुरंत मेरा टेस्ट हो गया और मुझे बताया गया की कल सुबह तक मैं अपनी रिपोर्ट ऑनलाइन चेक कर सकता हूँ. बीएचयू में चीजें ज्यादा बेहतर समझ में आई क्योकि उनके काम करने के तरीके से ही लग रहा था की कम से कम उनलोगों को ये पता था की वो क्या कर रहे हैं नहीं तो कबीरचौरा हॉस्पिटल या स्वास्थ मेला में तो ऐसा लग रहा था की किसी को सड़क से उठा कर बैठा दिया गया है जिसको खुद नहीं मालूम की उसको करना क्या है.

बीएचयू में टेस्ट करने वाले लोग उचित तरीके से PPE किट पहने हुए थे, फेस मास्क लगाये हुए थे, वहां एक दूसरे के बीच दूरी बनवाई जा रही थी और दूसरे नियम कानून का भी पालन करवाया जा रहा था. कुल मिलाजुला कर स्वास्थ मेला, कबीरचौरा हॉस्पिटल, Pathkind लैब और Lalpath लैब से बेहतर अनुभव बीएचयू का रहा. मुझे बीएचयू से ही एक वेबसाइट का लिंक दिया गया था (http://labreports.upcovid19tracks.in/) जहाँ जा कर मैं अपना रिपोर्ट चेक कर सकता था. मुझसे हॉस्पिटल में बोला गया की मैं 24 घंटे बाद वेबसाइट पर अपनी रिपोर्ट देख सकता हूँ. उस वेबसाइट को खोलने पर एक ऑप्शन था जिसमे वही मोबाईल नंबर डालना था जिसको टेस्ट करवाते समय रजिस्टर करवाया गया था क्योकि उसी मोबाइल नंबर पर एक OTP आता है जिसको वेबसाइट पर डालना पड़ता है जिसके बाद रिपोर्ट देख सकते हैं.

कुल मिलाजुला आसान प्रक्रिया थी और हमको लगता है की कोई भी आसानी से ये टेस्ट फ्री में बीएचयू में करवा सकता है. मेरी रिपोर्ट पॉजिटिव थी, मतलब मैं कोरोना संक्रमित था जिसका मतलब की अब मुझे कम से कम अगले 14 दिनों तक घर में रहना था तथा अगली बार का टेस्ट भी दो सप्ताह बाद ही करवाना था. मेरी रिपोर्ट पॉजिटिव आने के अगले दिन ही मुझे स्वास्थ विभाग से फ़ोन आया, उन्होंने मेरे परिवार के सदस्यों के बारे में पुछा और बोले की मुझे अपने पूरे परिवार का टेस्ट करवाना चाहिए. उस दिन शनिवार था इसलिए उन लोगों ने बोला की सोमवार को स्वास्थ विभाग से कुछ लोग मेरे घर जायेंगे और घर पर ही सबका टेस्ट किया जायेगा लेकिन मैं इतना इंतज़ार नहीं करना चाहता था. मेरे अपने परिवार के सदस्यों को भी रविवार को ही बीएचयू भेज कर सबका टेस्ट करवा दिया जिसकी रिपोर्ट भी शाम तक आ गयी.

अंततः 12 बाद जब मुझे स्वास्थ में आराम महसूस होने लगा तब मैंने सोचा की दोबारा से एक बार और टेस्ट करवा लें लेकिन इस बार टेस्ट करवाने के अनुभव पहली बार से बिलकुल अगल था. मैंने पहला टेस्ट 19 मार्च को करवाया था और उस दिन केवल 12 लोगों की पॉजिटिव रिपोर्ट आई थी लेकिन अगले दस दिनों ही इन्फेक्शन इतना तेजी से फैला की प्रति दिन 1000 से ज्यादा लोगों की पॉजिटिव रिपोर्ट आने लगी. मैं अपना टेस्ट करवाने के लिए शाम 6 बजे बीएचयू पंहुचा तो मुझे बोला गया की आप शाम 8 बजे आइये, अभी रजिस्ट्रेशन काउंटर बंद है. फिर मैं शाम 8.30 पर गया तब मुझे बोला गया की रात दस बजे आइये उसी समय रजिस्ट्रेशन भी होगा और टेस्ट भी हो जायेगा.

अंततः रात 10 बजे पहुचने पर भी वहां न ही रजिस्ट्रेशन हो रहा था और न ही टेस्ट. मेरी ही तरह काफी लोग वहां लाइन में खड़े थे. मुझे सबसे बड़ा आश्चर्य ये देख कर हुआ की कई लोग उन रोगियों को भी स्ट्रेचर पर लेकर आये थे जो की पहले से ही बीएचयू में किसी रोग की वजह से भर्ती थे. मुझे ये नहीं समझ में आ रहा था की जो रोगी पहले से ही हॉस्पिटल में भर्ती है उसको टेस्टिंग सेण्टर तक लाने की क्या जरूरत? उनका टेस्ट तो उनके बेड पर ही किया जा सकता था और एक बीमार आदमी को स्ट्रेचर पर लेकर कोविड टेस्टिंग सेण्टर ले कर आना उस पेशेंट के लिए भी खतरा हो सकता है. क्या पता वो निगेटिव हो लेकिन वहां टेस्टिंग सेंटर पर किसी पॉजिटिव व्यक्ति के सम्पर्क में आने से पॉजिटिव हो जाये.

खैर, अंततः रात 10.45 पर रजिस्ट्रेशन शुरू हुआ और सैंपल देते देते रात का 11.30 बज गया. अगले दो दिनों तक ऑनलाइन रिपोर्ट भी नहीं आई तब मैं खुद बीएचयू गया और वहां पता चला की चूँकि इधर बीच बहुत ज्यादा लोग संक्रमित हो रहे हैं और बहुत ज्यादा लोग टेस्ट करवाने आ रहे हैं इसलिए रिपोर्ट आने में 3 दिन तक लग जा रहा है. अंततः तीसरे दिन मेरी रिपोर्ट आई और मेरी रिपोर्ट दोबारा से पॉजिटिव ही था. मुझे नहीं मालूम ये सच है या नहीं लेकिन मुझसे कई लोगों ने बोला की यदि आप की रिपोर्ट एक बार पॉजिटिव आ गयी तो अगले 14 दिनों तक जानबूझ कर नेगेटिव रिपोर्ट नहीं दी जाती ताकि पेशेंट घर में ही रहे. खैर, मुझे इस बात पर विश्वास नहीं था. मुझे ऐसा लगता है की यदि कोई पॉजिटिव है तभी उसकी रिपोर्ट पॉजिटिव आएगी.

मैंने पंद्रहवे दिन फिर से अपना टेस्ट करवाया और इस बार स्थिति और गड़बड़ थी. अबतक औसतन रोज 2000 बनारस में पॉजिटिव हो जा रहे थे और बीएचयू पर बहुत ज्यादा लोड था. पहले की तुलना में कई गुना लोग टेस्ट करवाने के लिए पहुच रहे थे. पहले जहाँ औसतन एक-डेढ़ घंटे में टेस्ट हो जाता था इस बार तकरीबन 3 घंटे लगा और रिपोर्ट भी 3 दिन बाद आई. कुल मिलाजुला कर जितना अच्छा अनुभव शुरुआत में बीएचयू में था वो उतना ही बुरा हो गया. मैंने उसी दिन एक सरकारी अस्पताल में भी अपना सैंपल दिया था जिसकी रिपोर्ट कभी नहीं आई, पता करने पर हमेशा बोला गया की लोड बहुत ज्यादा है इस वजह से रिपोर्ट नहीं आ रही है.

रिपोर्ट लेट होने का कितना घातक परिणाम हो सकता है इस बात का अंदाज़ भी लगा पाना मुश्किल है. यदि कोई टेस्ट करवाता है और उसकी रिपोर्ट 2-3 दिन बाद आती है तो उस बीच में वो कई लोगों को इन्फेक्शन फैला सकता है या बीमारी का पता न चल पाने की स्थिति में हालत और ख़राब हो सकती है. कुल मिलाजुला कर आज की परिस्थिति को देखते हुए किसी प्राइवेट लैब में ही टेस्ट करवा लेना बेहतर है, कम से कम वो रिपोर्ट तो सही समय से देंगे. बस अंतर इतना है की सरकारी अस्पतालों में ये जांच फ्री है और प्राइवेट लैब में 900 रूपये का खर्च है. लेकिन मुझे ऐसा लगता है की यदि पैसा है तो वर्तमान स्थिति को देखते हुए प्राइवेट लैब में ही जांच करवा लेनी चाहिए ताकि सही समय से ईलाज तो शुरू हो सके.

कोरोना पॉजिटिव से निगेटिव होने तक के मेरे अनुभव से मैं अब ये जरूर कह सकता हूँ की यदि बनारस में कहीं टेस्ट कोविड का टेस्ट करवाना है या तो बीएचयू में करवाना चाहिए या फिर किसी अच्छे प्राइवेट लैब में. यदि कोई स्वास्थ सम्बंधित कोई ख़ास दिक्कत नहीं आ रही है तो बीएचयू में जा सकते हैं लेकिन यदि जरा भी दिक्कत परेशानी हो तो बिना समय व्यर्थ किये किसी प्राइवेट लैब में जांच करवा कर तुरंत डॉक्टर के निर्देशन में अपना ईलाज शुरू कर देना चाहिए. लेकिन मुझे ये भी मालूम है की हर किसी के बस की बात नहीं है की वो 900 रूपये लगवा कर टेस्ट करवा पायेगा इसलिए अंतिम उम्मीद तो सरकारी व्यवस्थाओं से ही बनती है और मुझे उम्मीद है की आने वाले समय में सरकारी व्यवस्था और दुरुस्त होगी जिससे ज्यादा से ज्यादा आम लोग अपना टेस्ट करवा सकें और इस वैश्विक महामारी से लड़ने में आगे आ सकें.

 

Traveller’s Choice Award 2020 for Groovy Tours

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I have been using Tripadvisor to promote my tour business since 2014 which gives me most of my business. Based on the ratings and reviews given by the customers Tripadvisor choses certain companies every year and gives them an yearly award. All the way starting from 2014 I started receiving Certificate of Excellence award, then they gave me Hall of Fame award in the year 2018 (Hall of Fame is given to the service providers who get Certificate of Excellence continuously five years in a row) and now this year I have been given Traveller’s Choice Award for the year 2020. It is always a great feeling to see that your guests appreciate your services and it becomes more special when it happens again and again every year 🙂 Thanks for all your support, Jai Hind!

My Liver Transplant Journey Part 2: Stay with in-laws & Their Behavior: BHU Hospitalization

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Continuing from the post number 1 …………….

My wife was visiting her parents during that time. One day, I called her and mentioned that I’d like to join her for a few days. I’m still puzzled by that decision, as I’m not someone who typically enjoys extended stays at my in-laws’ place. My wife was equally surprised, as it was likely the first time in our marriage that I’d expressed such a desire. I did go, and it was there that I began experiencing daily evening fevers accompanied by chills.

Sigmoidoscopy Report from February 2020

Whenever I felt cold, I would take Zerodol-P for temporary relief. I was also experiencing severe, persistent leg pain that was difficult to describe. This continued for three or four days, prompting me to get a blood test. I opted for a CBC and LFT. The results showed slightly elevated TLC counts, elevated bilirubin (around 8), elevated AST and ALT levels, and low albumin levels. While I initially believed it wasn’t serious, my family insisted on seeing a doctor. I eventually agreed and consulted a doctor at BHU.

Endoscopy Report from Feb 2020

The gastroenterology department head at BHU, Dr. V.K. Dixit, ordered additional tests: CBC, LFT, KFT, PT-INR, Endoscopy, and Colonoscopy. The results were concerning. In addition to abnormal LFT, my PT-INR was alarmingly elevated, far exceeding the safe range. My PT-INR was 3, while it should have been below 1. A resident doctor initially reviewed my reports and advised me to seek treatment at a larger hospital due to their severity.

Color Doppler Report from March 2020

His first question was whether I had experienced bleeding through my stool, nose, or cough. I replied negatively. He then explained that my PT-INR levels were so high that I risked vomiting blood or falling into a coma at any time. He recommended seeking treatment at a specialized liver hospital in Delhi. However, I insisted on seeing a senior doctor first. The senior doctor concurred with the assessment of my PT-INR levels and asked the same questions about bleeding.

BHU Prescription Page 1

I was unfamiliar with PT-INR levels and unaware of the dangers posed by elevated levels. The doctor instructed me to be admitted to the ward immediately. I complied, but after only two days, the doctor asked my family to take me home. He explained that there was little left to do, and they should either transfer me to a specialized hospital in Delhi or take me home. The doctor emphasized that the only potential option for survival was an immediate liver transplant.

BHU Prescription Page 2

My family requested that he keep me in the hospital for a few days, but he refused. He explained that it wouldn’t be beneficial to stay at BHU, as they lacked the necessary facilities for my condition. After much persuasion, he agreed to admit me. Fortunately, my body responded to the medication, and I began to feel better. I stayed in the hospital for a week and was eventually discharged. The doctor prescribed some medications and scheduled a follow-up appointment for two weeks later.

I was discharged from the hospital on March 21st, just a day before the lockdown was imposed. I’d like to reflect on my time at my in-laws’ place, as it taught me a valuable life lesson. Their family is a joint family, consisting of my in-laws and my wife’s uncle’s family. This includes my mother-in-law, my wife’s uncle, aunt, their son, and my wife’s grandmother. My father-in-law passed away in 2017, and since then, my mother-in-law has been living with my uncle’s family.

When I moved in with them, my aunt seemed somewhat upset. The next day, she told my wife that if we were staying for a few days, we should bring all our groceries and give them to her. My wife complied, emptying our kitchen and giving everything to her aunt. My aunt would also ask my wife to buy milk, vegetables, and other groceries in exchange for our stay. Essentially, I was paying for our stay, which is unheard of in Indian culture.

I later learned that my wife’s uncle had lent her money at a high interest rate while I was fighting for my life at BHU. While high-interest loans are common in the market, you wouldn’t expect such behavior from your own uncle in an emergency. He lent Rs. 60,000 at a 10% monthly interest rate, even deducting one month’s interest upfront. My elder brother and my wife contributed to my hospital bill.

We humans have categorized our personal and social lives in specific ways. We anticipate certain behaviors from certain relationships. My relationship with my wife’s family is deeply sacred, but such behavior raises questions about the fundamental nature of human connection and relationships. While such incidents are rare—I’ve never heard of anything similar elsewhere—I experienced it firsthand. I acknowledge his assistance, but I no longer consider it help because he charged money for it…

To be continued in Part 3……

My Liver Transplant Journey: How it all started: Post 1

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Due to the length of my liver transplant journey, I’ll be sharing it in a series of posts, each focusing on different events and experiences from my illness to recovery. 

It took me over three years to decide whether or not to share my liver transplant journey. After much deliberation, I chose to write about it as a way of expressing gratitude to all the positive forces in the existence that helped me through this difficult time. Initially, I hesitated to share my experiences due to the many negative experiences I encountered with. However, a deep desire to help others avoid similar hardships and motivated me to write.

You may find some of my views negative, but please refrain from being judgmental until you’ve read my entire series of posts. I’ve been as honest as possible, detailing my mental state when I had high ammonia levels and the reasons behind people’s negative attitudes towards me. I fully understand the frustration and financial burden my illness placed on my family. Dealing with such unexpected challenges is not easy, but smart decisions can make things significantly easier. Patients, families, and others each have distinct roles to play. By understanding one another and working together with a compassionate and scientific approach, we can achieve better outcomes with less difficulty.

As I mentioned earlier, please avoid judgment until you’ve read all of my posts. I pray that no one ever experiences the hardships I faced, but if they do, I hope my posts can offer help to patients, their families, and society at large. Hari Om.

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My health began to deteriorate in the final week of December 2019 or the first week of January 2020. I experienced persistent chills, weakness, and fatigue, but I didn’t suspect a severe liver issue. While I had a history of jaundice in 2017 and septicemia in 2018, both conditions were effectively managed. Although I required hospitalization for three days to treat the septicemia, my liver function tests remained normal. When I experienced jaundice, my doctor suggested that it could be attributed to contaminated water, unhealthy food, or a sedentary lifestyle. I regularly underwent blood tests and ultrasounds to monitor my health, but these examinations never indicated any signs of liver disease.

I’d like to share another incident that occurred in March 2019. My older brother, Shailendra, was visiting Varanasi and falsely claimed that his company offered free healthcare for family members, including me. He encouraged me to get an ultrasound scan using this insurance coverage. I knew he was lying, using the ultrasound as a pretext to discuss my declining health. I accompanied my brother to get an ultrasound scan. During the appointment, I noticed him speaking privately with the doctor, which seemed suspicious.

I suspected he might be requesting the doctor to provide a negative assessment of my health. Although I was somewhat upset, I still went through with the scan. Once the scan was complete, the doctor informed me that my liver appeared unhealthy and recommended consulting a specialized liver hospital in Delhi. However, I was convinced that the doctor’s assessment was pre-arranged and dismissed his advice. In retrospect, I wish I had taken his recommendation seriously.

Looking back on my illness in 2020, I believe it began in January, though I initially dismissed the symptoms. As I mentioned earlier, I felt constantly cold, weak, and fatigued. Over time, I also developed mental health issues likely attributed to high ammonia levels in my body. I recall feeling persistently upset and isolated, longing to escape from those around me. I was confused and disoriented, unsure what was happening to me or if I was living a different kind of life. The underlying reason for my desire to withdraw is something I choose to keep private. It was a personal burden that caused me constant distress. This secret will likely remain undisclosed until the end of my days.

Overwhelmed by stress, I once left home without informing anyone and stayed with a friend for two days. One night, I even called my mother to say I wouldn’t see her again. The combination of stress and high ammonia levels left me constantly upset, angry, and confused. Reflecting on those days, I realize my behavior was indicative of a mental health crisis. Suicidal thoughts were frequent, and I often contemplated ending my life. It’s clear now that my illness began in January, but I was oblivious to it at the time. Looking back at photos from that period, I can see that my skin had darkened significantly, and I was noticeably thin. However, I never suspected a severe liver condition.

Look at the sudden change in my face color

Reflecting on those days, I recall that even after consuming alcohol, my breath and urine would retain an alcohol odor for the following day. People would frequently ask me in the afternoon if I had been drinking, even though my behavior was not indicative of intoxication. I believe this was due to my body’s inability to metabolize alcohol effectively, causing it to accumulate. While I can’t pinpoint the exact date of my first drink, I had been consuming alcohol for approximately 10-12 years. Typically, I would consume a quarter of whiskey (165 ml) each evening. Although there were occasional lapses, I generally drank alcohol daily. In the last 2-3 years of my active drinking phase, I increased my daily intake to 200 ml. I rarely drank during the day, except for special occasions like Holi. While I’m unsure if this qualifies as heavy drinking, it’s clear that I consumed alcohol almost daily.

My final alcohol consumption was on March 8, 2020. With Holi approaching on the 10th, I was in a celebratory mood. I recall enjoying two cans of Kingfisher beer at home before heading out to meet friends. While I typically preferred whiskey, I opted for beer that evening due to feeling unwell and seeking a temporary boost. When I joined my friends, they were already drinking a variety of beverages, including whiskey and beer. Despite my initial intention to avoid whiskey, I ultimately consumed two or three shots.

I recall returning home late that night and going to my mother’s room, which was unusual for me. Typically, I would go directly to my room and sleep. However, on that night, I went to my mother and asked her to cook Khichdi. I remember she was visibly upset about my condition. Eventually, I went to my room late at night and slept. The next morning, I felt extremely weak, feverish, and shivering. Despite it being Holi on the 10th, my illness prevented me from celebrating. My ammonia levels were already elevated, and I felt confused most of the time.

To be continued in Part 2…….

Boat ride in Varanasi

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Ganga Cruise Alaknanda

Tourism is life line of Varanasi and biggest attraction for tourists has always been Kashi Vishwanath Temple and the river Ganga. I can’t even think of any tourist of pilgrim coming to Varanasi without having desire to at least visit Kashi Vishwanath Temple and have at least one boat ride on the river. As per the data of UP Tourism board nearly 7 million tourists had visited Varanasi in the 2017 and the number is growing every year. But because of bad infrastructure Varanasi was not able to impress tourists and pilgrims as much as it should have done. The city was a complete mess until 2014. Luckily Varanasi elected Mr. Narendra Modi as the member of parliament from Varanasi and he is also the current Prime Minister of India now.

Ganga Cruise Alaknanda

During his tenure of past 4 years this city has changed a lot. They worked a lot for cleanliness under Swatch Bharat Mission which had huge positive impact on the city. Mr. Modi always talks about tourism hence he personally took interest in developing tourism facilities in Varanasi. And the most recent change is Ganga Cruise. We had small boats (hand rowing and engine run both) which can handle 4-6 people. Hand rowing boats are fine but the there was a huge increase in number of engine boats which had basically ruined the whole experience. It is very loud and since it is run on a diesel engine it creates huge pollution. People want to have peace when they go on a boat but these boats were very bad.

Ganga Cruise Alaknanda

I have had so many guests who were disappointed with the boats. If fact they were willing to pay extra to have a bigger, safer and comfortable boat but it was not possible at all because we did not have any other option. But finally we have Ganga cruise as well which will leave positive impact on tourism in Varanasi and will definitely attract more tourists. The government has started this new cruise named Alaknanda and I have been told that it is a double-decker cruise ship which will be able to carry more than 100 passengers at any given time. The liner is equipped with 60 luxurious sofas to make your voyage incredibly comfortable and have eco-friendly bio-toilets. It also has an extensively equipped kitchen which will serve both veg and non-veg dishes to please your taste buds.

Ganga Cruise Alaknanda

The lower deck of the cruise is fully air-conditioned and has a small stage which boosts all the needed multimedia functionality. To keep you connected to the modern world it also offers free on-board WiFi. The upper deck is a restaurant and will let you enjoy the view while hogging on your favorite food! The cruise is even equipped with numerous safety features and an on-board lifeguard for emergencies. When Cabinet Minister Mr. Nitin Gadhkari proposed the idea of Motorways, many People mocked him….but look at it….it is indeed happening…..it is the future.

 

 

Plastic Kills

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Baba

We have always been hearing about how plastic is a serious threat to our planet, but not many people seem serious about the issue. Especially in India, where there is plastic just everywhere—even the blessings at temples are packed in plastic. The government does all the propaganda by making laws that plastic should be prohibited, but nothing is implemented. Just like anyone else living in this country, I am also affected by plastic, but something happened a few days ago which just blew my mind. Actually, I met someone new in my life a few weeks ago, and we became really good friends. A few weeks ago, I was sitting at Assi Crossing, and suddenly a bullock came to me.

Baba with Rahul

He was very cute, just came to me like we had known each other for a long time, and put his face over my lap. I started stroking him, and he seemed very relaxed by me doing it. Suddenly, a few of my other friends also came, and the bullock behaved very friendly with them as well. We offered him some food, but he didn’t seem to be very excited about eating it. Anyway, we named him that same evening, and his name was Baba. Baba was with us for almost an hour, and then we went back home. We saw Baba the next day at the same place where we had met yesterday.

Now we noticed something strange in Baba’s body. His stomach looked kind of bigger than his size. We tried to touch it, and it seemed very tight. We decided to ask someone who does dairy business if Baba’s stomach looked strange to him as well. Luckily, there is a dairy businessman right at Assi Crossing. We called him and asked what he thought about Baba’s stomach. Based on his experience, he said that Baba had eaten a lot of plastic, and that’s why his growth had stopped, he didn’t feel like eating, he was not happy, and if something was not done soon, then he might die as well.

We had also noticed some problems—that Baba seemed hungry but he could not eat. He seemed bigger in age than his physical growth. All of my friends were very sad to hear this, and we decided to contact some doctor. A friend of mine who owns a cow contacted the doctor, and the doctor said if the plastic had been in Baba’s body for a long time, then the only possible way to take it out was an operation. Baba was not in good shape at all. We noticed that he was becoming more and more skinny every day. We were still discussing what to do with Baba, and suddenly we saw his dead body by the corner of the street where we used to meet.

It was very sad to see him dead, and I don’t really think that we will ever forget him. But by looking at what happened with Baba, we can easily imagine what is the condition of our animals in India, the country where each and every form of life is worshiped. Talking about Varanasi, this city had a tradition of setting up big containers at every corner of the alleys, which would be filled with water and food by the locals of Varanasi so that street animals could stay happy and healthy. But now the situation has become really worse, and our street animals are dying by eating garbage which is mixed with plastic.

I have no hope from the government, and I think the only way to solve this problem would be some initiative from the people themselves. But it also seems very complicated because whatever we get is always packed in plastic, and it has to go somewhere. Usually, people put their garbage on the street from where it should be collected by the municipality. We also don’t have any system of separating the garbage, and everything is mixed. I think the best thing would be to use as little plastic as possible. I don’t know when things will change, but I will try my best to change myself for sure.

Baba Dead

RIP Baba.

Police in Varanasi

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Corruption is a very big issue in India nowadays, and everyone is talking about it. We even saw the results in the Delhi state assembly elections, where the Aam Aadmi Party changed the government solely on the issue of corruption. I was very excited after seeing the results of the Delhi elections, but sometimes things happen that make me feel like there is just no way to kill corruption in this country. Last week, I attended a friend’s wedding in Varanasi. After the wedding was finished, all of my friends returned home, but one of them parked his motorbike right in front of his home on the main street, which is usual in a city like Varanasi where there is no parking space available  anywhere.

At 2:30 AM, I got a call from the same friend saying his bike was missing. He called me seeking help to find the bike. We went together on the street asking people if anyone had seen our bike, and a person told us that he had seen two policemen taking the bike. We went to the nearest police station, and the officer there said that the bike was found unattended and hence sent to a bigger police station about a kilometer away from my place. At the big police station, we found everyone asleep except for one person standing by the entrance. We asked him about our bike and he confirmed it was there but said we needed to talk to the officer.

We went to the officer and found him sleeping on his chair. We tried to wake him up, but he was in a super sound sleep. Finally, after several attempts, he woke up. We explained our situation, and he said we would have to go to court the next day, pay a fine of Rs. 10,000, and only then would we get our bike. We knew he was lying. We requested him repeatedly to give us our bike back, and he finally agreed after talking with the policemen who had brought the bike from the street. He asked us to go back on the street to look for those policemen.

We had no idea where to find them. We requested the officer to kindly confirm their location by talking with them on the phone, but the officer just didn’t want to help us. He always seemed more interested in his sleep. Anyway, we returned to the same location and luckily found those police officers. We explained our situation and they were cooperative. They asked us to go back to the police station and have the officer talk with them. Back at the police station, we again found the officer sleeping. It was a serious pain to wake him up, but the mission was successful. He opened a register, looked at a few pages, and found the page where he had written the bike number.

Then he asked for the bike registration papers, which we did not have. The papers were with the friend who owned the bike. We tried calling him, but he did not respond. We went to his home, woke him up, brought him to the police station with all the papers, and waited. Right in front of our eyes, the officer closed the register and again fell asleep, asking us to wait. We didn’t know what to do. I laughed in anger, and we started talking among ourselves, like “This is our great India, this is the system,” things like that.

The awake policeman who was listening told us, “Now you are laughing too much, but imagine what would have happened if a thief had stolen your bike.” I didn’t know what to tell him, but I replied that we were laughing only because our bike was safe with the police. After waiting 15 to 20 minutes, we asked the awake policeman to wake the sleeping officer. Finally, the officer woke up, looked at the documents again, and asked for Rs. 500. We all looked at each other and asked why he needed Rs. 500. When we asked this question, he got upset, closed the register, and fell asleep again, asking us to go to court the next day.

We knew well that if we went to court, we’d have to bribe maybe 10 people, because everything is super corrupt at the courts too. It was already 4 AM, and we had no hope other than bribing him. We finally gave him Rs. 500 and got our bike back. But when I think about that policeman’s behavior, it makes me feel like our police exists to torture us and nothing else. The policeman had no interest in helping, always tried to make the situation more complicated, and was very rude, corrupt, fat, lazy, sleepy, and a bigger thief than regular thieves. And I have never met any policeman better than him. I have also never met anyone who said they found a helpful policeman.

I think it’s definitely time to dismiss the entire police system and bring in fresh people with different training. I’ve heard that our police are trained the same way as in the British Raj days. The police were trained to fight locals back then, and they are still trained the same way today. Our political system has never had time to improve the police system because they are also involved in looting the country. I’m sure this problem could be solved by bringing a new police act and using more technology, but I don’t see much hope, especially for my state of Uttar Pradesh, where governments come to power by playing caste and religion politics.

I have always believed that Indian police are somehow responsible for every problem we have, and if things don’t change soon, I guarantee the dream of India becoming a superpower will remain just a dream forever.

Untouchability/ Impurity

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The idea of unaccountability has always been part of Hindu culture but it also changed the way everything changed over time. If we look at real idea of unaccountability then it is completely karma based and anyone can become untouchable or impure by doing certain karma at anytime in their lives but at present certain communities are considered 24 hours untouchable. The best examples in my city are the people who work at cremation sites.There is so huge discrimination against them that the community doesn’t seem to have any hope. Even they don’t consider themselves as someone who can even dream of changing their lives.

I still remember when I worked with CBC a few years ago on a documentary project which was about filming a young Doam (the caste of people who work at the cremation grounds) whose father was still involved in the cremation ground but the son was either studying computers or working at a multinational company and at one moment we thought that it was impossible to find someone in such condition because no family had ever sent their kids to the school. Anyways, something magic happened and we found an amazing person for our episode, in fact it was the best story of the series.

Something really in interesting happened with me last night which made me write this story and really made me think if there is any impact of education on Indian society or not? Are we still stuck with that crazy system of unaccountability/ impurity / discrimination of the basis of somebody’s caste? And the worse thing is that nobody wants to think about the real idea and just want to go with the present system. One of my friend’s father died yesterday and I went to the cremation ground with my two friends who are my age graduate living in so called educated Indian city.

Both of my friends were really concerned about getting touched by anyone at the cremation ground because it would have made them impure or untouchable. The idea of impurity associated with cremation says that whoever participates in the funeral becomes impure until they have taken a bath again. They were planning to keep a distance from all of the family members, even my friend. They warned me also to not get touched by anyone but I did not know how to make it happen. I was going to my friend father’s funeral and I knew that at least I was going to hug him or touch him to show my sorrow and support in this difficult time.

Anyways, I arrived at the cremation ground and saw my friend standing alone and looking at his father’s funeral. That feeling of seeing my friend was so strong to me that I could not stop myself by going close to him. My other friend’s, who were concerned about getting touched, also came with me. I was talking with my friend and suddenly I noticed that two other friends who had come with me were gone now. They were standing kind of 20 meters away from me. Suddenly the friend who father had died started crying and now I could not stop myself by putting my hand over his shoulder. We were standing like this for a while and then I went to my other friends and we returned back home.

But the most interesting experience for me when I started my motorbike to drive back home. It was the same motorbike I had used to reach at the cremation ground with two other friends but now they did not want to ride it. We were three on one motorbike with me being the driver and my other friends were asking each other to sit on the bike first so that they don’t touch me. Anyways, they also came on my bike and we all drove back together. The next day one of those friends came to me and said that he had to change his clothes and take a bath before entering in home only because I touched someone at the cremation ground and they got touched by me.

I thought about it a lot and was wondering if this idea of impurity is more important than showing your support to a friend who is facing a death of a family member? Anyways, I think I just did not do anything wrong, in fact I did not do anything, it was just my human feeling which made me touch that friend. I also want to respect traditions but definitely can’t compromise with my social duties.

Blogging

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I started to blog about six years ago and I have always enjoyed it so much. In fact blogging changed my whole life: it improved my writing, my thinking, increased my social networking and got me a lot of attention. In the beginning I was just writing about anything, even my guests staying at my guesthouse but later I took it more seriously and I started writing about social issues, tourism, corruption, politics etc. But now I have been going through really strange situation ever since my blog has gotten good ranking on google. I never paid any money or put any extra efforts to get good ranking on google, it all happened automatically and I was always so happy and proud of my blog.

But ever since I have been getting good ranking on my blog, I have also started to get threats from different people who are upset with my writings. It was the first time last year when I had to remove one of the posts I wrote about a very famous TV show filming in Varanasi. I just wrote about my views on how they contacted me first, wanted to offer me the assignment but when I asked my salary they said that they did not have a fancy budget to pay my salary. Later I introduced one of my friends to the team and he agreed on working with them. When the crew arrived in Varanasi, I was surprised to see how big budget they had. And finally the producer asked my friend to get him some empty receipts so that he can fill some crazy amount and get money for it.

It was a very strange experience for me because I had already worked with so many TV channels from all over the world and none of them ever asked for such thing. I finally wrote about it and it became a serious problem for me because the producer sitting in Mumbai office found my post way before the show was ever on TV. The crew started calling me several times a day and threatened me by saying that they know so many people in Varanasi, they will go to the court against me etc… Finally under pressure of the crew and my friend who worked with them, I had to remove that post and it was a very upsetting moment for me. It took me more than a few weeks to recover from that incident.

Anyways, something similar again happened with me last week. I wrote a post about a guesthouse in Varanasi based in my person experience about how stupid the guesthouse staff and owner were in dealing with their guests. Actually one of my groups was staying at this guesthouse in the year 2011 and I got a call from the guesthouse owner the same day the group arrived saying that I should tell my group that I can’t provide any services to my group. I was surprised to hear it and I asked him if he was sure what he was talking about and he said that if I provide any boat, taxi or tours to my guests then they would kick the group out of their hotel. The owner also suggested me some stupid excuses like I can tell my guests that I don’t know anything about Varanasi.

Anyways, I informed my group about it and they also talked with the hotel owner, they had a little fight but later everything was fixed. But the guesthouse owner had threatened me by saying that I am new in the industry, I don’t know the rules, I should not try to be so smart and he will see me. I decided to write about it on my blog and same thing happened what had happened with that TV group. They started calling me, sending me emails and such things. Finally I got a call last week from a dude in my neighborhood who asked me to remove that post. I thought a lot about whether I should remove that post or not and decided to ask the group what they thought. I was surprised to see that the same group was going to stay at that same guesthouse in their next trip to India.

They said that it is convenient for them to stay at the same place because it is the closest guesthouse to the building where they have all of their business in Varanasi. I was kind of upset after hearing this but thought what can I do if even the group is not supporting me. So finally I removed that post also. All these removal of my posts and similar incidences all across India have raised a serious question about whether I should still write about corruption or not. Recently a writer was arrested and sent to jail because he made a comment on Facebook about some politician. Where is the freedom of expression and freedom of speech? At a moment I had thought to take help of Police but later realized that Police is definitely more corrupt than any the camera crew or the guesthouse owner.

I don’t know if I will ever write about corruption issues on my city level because I feel threatened by these local mafias. I have a family and I need to think about them as well. And in any case I never feel like having enough time to become part of bullshit politics. Peace.

Juna Akhada Peshwani

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In Hinduism, Akhara (also akhada) is an association of the different sects of Yogis, also known as Sadhus (Hindu Renunciates). Its history dates back to the eighth century when Adi Shankaracharya established seven Akharas. Some yogis revere Gorakhnath as the founder rather than Shankaracharya. The 7 ancient Akharas are Mahanirvani, Niranjani, Atal, Avahan, Agni and Anand Akhara. Today there are 3 major Akharas (Juna, Mahanirvani and Niranjani) and 3 minor Akharas (Atal affiliated with Mahanirvani, Anand affiliated with Niranjan). Traditionally during the Kumbh Mela, the Naga Sadhus, and the ‘Akharas’, lead and initiate the bathing rituals, before the general population steps in.

Since these group of Sadhus reside in different parts of India, they all have to gather together and then they follow the festival or whatever the reason could be. There is also something very important process of participating in the festival which is called Peshwani. Basically Peshwani is a procession organized to show the official arrival of a group of Sadhus in a city. The same Peshwani was organized by Juna Akhada in Varanasi during Kumbh Mela 2013. I had heard a lot of Peshwanis but had never seen one but luckily this year I got an opportunity to see it. I made a video also which Peshwani of Juna Akhada in Varanasi on 2nd of March 2013 :