Tag Archives: varanasi

My Liver Transplant Journey Part 2: Stay with in-laws & Their Behavior: BHU Hospitalization

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Continuing from the post number 1 …………….

My wife was visiting her parents during that time. One day, I called her and mentioned that I’d like to join her for a few days. I’m still puzzled by that decision, as I’m not someone who typically enjoys extended stays at my in-laws’ place. My wife was equally surprised, as it was likely the first time in our marriage that I’d expressed such a desire. I did go, and it was there that I began experiencing daily evening fevers accompanied by chills.

Sigmoidoscopy Report from February 2020

Whenever I felt cold, I would take Zerodol-P for temporary relief. I was also experiencing severe, persistent leg pain that was difficult to describe. This continued for three or four days, prompting me to get a blood test. I opted for a CBC and LFT. The results showed slightly elevated TLC counts, elevated bilirubin (around 8), elevated AST and ALT levels, and low albumin levels. While I initially believed it wasn’t serious, my family insisted on seeing a doctor. I eventually agreed and consulted a doctor at BHU.

Endoscopy Report from Feb 2020

The gastroenterology department head at BHU, Dr. V.K. Dixit, ordered additional tests: CBC, LFT, KFT, PT-INR, Endoscopy, and Colonoscopy. The results were concerning. In addition to abnormal LFT, my PT-INR was alarmingly elevated, far exceeding the safe range. My PT-INR was 3, while it should have been below 1. A resident doctor initially reviewed my reports and advised me to seek treatment at a larger hospital due to their severity.

Color Doppler Report from March 2020

His first question was whether I had experienced bleeding through my stool, nose, or cough. I replied negatively. He then explained that my PT-INR levels were so high that I risked vomiting blood or falling into a coma at any time. He recommended seeking treatment at a specialized liver hospital in Delhi. However, I insisted on seeing a senior doctor first. The senior doctor concurred with the assessment of my PT-INR levels and asked the same questions about bleeding.

BHU Prescription Page 1

I was unfamiliar with PT-INR levels and unaware of the dangers posed by elevated levels. The doctor instructed me to be admitted to the ward immediately. I complied, but after only two days, the doctor asked my family to take me home. He explained that there was little left to do, and they should either transfer me to a specialized hospital in Delhi or take me home. The doctor emphasized that the only potential option for survival was an immediate liver transplant.

BHU Prescription Page 2

My family requested that he keep me in the hospital for a few days, but he refused. He explained that it wouldn’t be beneficial to stay at BHU, as they lacked the necessary facilities for my condition. After much persuasion, he agreed to admit me. Fortunately, my body responded to the medication, and I began to feel better. I stayed in the hospital for a week and was eventually discharged. The doctor prescribed some medications and scheduled a follow-up appointment for two weeks later.

I was discharged from the hospital on March 21st, just a day before the lockdown was imposed. I’d like to reflect on my time at my in-laws’ place, as it taught me a valuable life lesson. Their family is a joint family, consisting of my in-laws and my wife’s uncle’s family. This includes my mother-in-law, my wife’s uncle, aunt, their son, and my wife’s grandmother. My father-in-law passed away in 2017, and since then, my mother-in-law has been living with my uncle’s family.

When I moved in with them, my aunt seemed somewhat upset. The next day, she told my wife that if we were staying for a few days, we should bring all our groceries and give them to her. My wife complied, emptying our kitchen and giving everything to her aunt. My aunt would also ask my wife to buy milk, vegetables, and other groceries in exchange for our stay. Essentially, I was paying for our stay, which is unheard of in Indian culture.

I later learned that my wife’s uncle had lent her money at a high interest rate while I was fighting for my life at BHU. While high-interest loans are common in the market, you wouldn’t expect such behavior from your own uncle in an emergency. He lent Rs. 60,000 at a 10% monthly interest rate, even deducting one month’s interest upfront. My elder brother and my wife contributed to my hospital bill.

We humans have categorized our personal and social lives in specific ways. We anticipate certain behaviors from certain relationships. My relationship with my wife’s family is deeply sacred, but such behavior raises questions about the fundamental nature of human connection and relationships. While such incidents are rare—I’ve never heard of anything similar elsewhere—I experienced it firsthand. I acknowledge his assistance, but I no longer consider it help because he charged money for it…

To be continued in Part 3……

My Liver Transplant Journey: How it all started: Post 1

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Due to the length of my liver transplant journey, I’ll be sharing it in a series of posts, each focusing on different events and experiences from my illness to recovery. 

It took me over three years to decide whether or not to share my liver transplant journey. After much deliberation, I chose to write about it as a way of expressing gratitude to all the positive forces in the existence that helped me through this difficult time. Initially, I hesitated to share my experiences due to the many negative experiences I encountered with. However, a deep desire to help others avoid similar hardships and motivated me to write.

You may find some of my views negative, but please refrain from being judgmental until you’ve read my entire series of posts. I’ve been as honest as possible, detailing my mental state when I had high ammonia levels and the reasons behind people’s negative attitudes towards me. I fully understand the frustration and financial burden my illness placed on my family. Dealing with such unexpected challenges is not easy, but smart decisions can make things significantly easier. Patients, families, and others each have distinct roles to play. By understanding one another and working together with a compassionate and scientific approach, we can achieve better outcomes with less difficulty.

As I mentioned earlier, please avoid judgment until you’ve read all of my posts. I pray that no one ever experiences the hardships I faced, but if they do, I hope my posts can offer help to patients, their families, and society at large. Hari Om.

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My health began to deteriorate in the final week of December 2019 or the first week of January 2020. I experienced persistent chills, weakness, and fatigue, but I didn’t suspect a severe liver issue. While I had a history of jaundice in 2017 and septicemia in 2018, both conditions were effectively managed. Although I required hospitalization for three days to treat the septicemia, my liver function tests remained normal. When I experienced jaundice, my doctor suggested that it could be attributed to contaminated water, unhealthy food, or a sedentary lifestyle. I regularly underwent blood tests and ultrasounds to monitor my health, but these examinations never indicated any signs of liver disease.

I’d like to share another incident that occurred in March 2019. My older brother, Shailendra, was visiting Varanasi and falsely claimed that his company offered free healthcare for family members, including me. He encouraged me to get an ultrasound scan using this insurance coverage. I knew he was lying, using the ultrasound as a pretext to discuss my declining health. I accompanied my brother to get an ultrasound scan. During the appointment, I noticed him speaking privately with the doctor, which seemed suspicious.

I suspected he might be requesting the doctor to provide a negative assessment of my health. Although I was somewhat upset, I still went through with the scan. Once the scan was complete, the doctor informed me that my liver appeared unhealthy and recommended consulting a specialized liver hospital in Delhi. However, I was convinced that the doctor’s assessment was pre-arranged and dismissed his advice. In retrospect, I wish I had taken his recommendation seriously.

Looking back on my illness in 2020, I believe it began in January, though I initially dismissed the symptoms. As I mentioned earlier, I felt constantly cold, weak, and fatigued. Over time, I also developed mental health issues likely attributed to high ammonia levels in my body. I recall feeling persistently upset and isolated, longing to escape from those around me. I was confused and disoriented, unsure what was happening to me or if I was living a different kind of life. The underlying reason for my desire to withdraw is something I choose to keep private. It was a personal burden that caused me constant distress. This secret will likely remain undisclosed until the end of my days.

Overwhelmed by stress, I once left home without informing anyone and stayed with a friend for two days. One night, I even called my mother to say I wouldn’t see her again. The combination of stress and high ammonia levels left me constantly upset, angry, and confused. Reflecting on those days, I realize my behavior was indicative of a mental health crisis. Suicidal thoughts were frequent, and I often contemplated ending my life. It’s clear now that my illness began in January, but I was oblivious to it at the time. Looking back at photos from that period, I can see that my skin had darkened significantly, and I was noticeably thin. However, I never suspected a severe liver condition.

Look at the sudden change in my face color

Reflecting on those days, I recall that even after consuming alcohol, my breath and urine would retain an alcohol odor for the following day. People would frequently ask me in the afternoon if I had been drinking, even though my behavior was not indicative of intoxication. I believe this was due to my body’s inability to metabolize alcohol effectively, causing it to accumulate. While I can’t pinpoint the exact date of my first drink, I had been consuming alcohol for approximately 10-12 years. Typically, I would consume a quarter of whiskey (165 ml) each evening. Although there were occasional lapses, I generally drank alcohol daily. In the last 2-3 years of my active drinking phase, I increased my daily intake to 200 ml. I rarely drank during the day, except for special occasions like Holi. While I’m unsure if this qualifies as heavy drinking, it’s clear that I consumed alcohol almost daily.

My final alcohol consumption was on March 8, 2020. With Holi approaching on the 10th, I was in a celebratory mood. I recall enjoying two cans of Kingfisher beer at home before heading out to meet friends. While I typically preferred whiskey, I opted for beer that evening due to feeling unwell and seeking a temporary boost. When I joined my friends, they were already drinking a variety of beverages, including whiskey and beer. Despite my initial intention to avoid whiskey, I ultimately consumed two or three shots.

I recall returning home late that night and going to my mother’s room, which was unusual for me. Typically, I would go directly to my room and sleep. However, on that night, I went to my mother and asked her to cook Khichdi. I remember she was visibly upset about my condition. Eventually, I went to my room late at night and slept. The next morning, I felt extremely weak, feverish, and shivering. Despite it being Holi on the 10th, my illness prevented me from celebrating. My ammonia levels were already elevated, and I felt confused most of the time.

To be continued in Part 2…….

Boat ride in Varanasi

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Ganga Cruise Alaknanda

Tourism is life line of Varanasi and biggest attraction for tourists has always been Kashi Vishwanath Temple and the river Ganga. I can’t even think of any tourist of pilgrim coming to Varanasi without having desire to at least visit Kashi Vishwanath Temple and have at least one boat ride on the river. As per the data of UP Tourism board nearly 7 million tourists had visited Varanasi in the 2017 and the number is growing every year. But because of bad infrastructure Varanasi was not able to impress tourists and pilgrims as much as it should have done. The city was a complete mess until 2014. Luckily Varanasi elected Mr. Narendra Modi as the member of parliament from Varanasi and he is also the current Prime Minister of India now.

Ganga Cruise Alaknanda

During his tenure of past 4 years this city has changed a lot. They worked a lot for cleanliness under Swatch Bharat Mission which had huge positive impact on the city. Mr. Modi always talks about tourism hence he personally took interest in developing tourism facilities in Varanasi. And the most recent change is Ganga Cruise. We had small boats (hand rowing and engine run both) which can handle 4-6 people. Hand rowing boats are fine but the there was a huge increase in number of engine boats which had basically ruined the whole experience. It is very loud and since it is run on a diesel engine it creates huge pollution. People want to have peace when they go on a boat but these boats were very bad.

Ganga Cruise Alaknanda

I have had so many guests who were disappointed with the boats. If fact they were willing to pay extra to have a bigger, safer and comfortable boat but it was not possible at all because we did not have any other option. But finally we have Ganga cruise as well which will leave positive impact on tourism in Varanasi and will definitely attract more tourists. The government has started this new cruise named Alaknanda and I have been told that it is a double-decker cruise ship which will be able to carry more than 100 passengers at any given time. The liner is equipped with 60 luxurious sofas to make your voyage incredibly comfortable and have eco-friendly bio-toilets. It also has an extensively equipped kitchen which will serve both veg and non-veg dishes to please your taste buds.

Ganga Cruise Alaknanda

The lower deck of the cruise is fully air-conditioned and has a small stage which boosts all the needed multimedia functionality. To keep you connected to the modern world it also offers free on-board WiFi. The upper deck is a restaurant and will let you enjoy the view while hogging on your favorite food! The cruise is even equipped with numerous safety features and an on-board lifeguard for emergencies. When Cabinet Minister Mr. Nitin Gadhkari proposed the idea of Motorways, many People mocked him….but look at it….it is indeed happening…..it is the future.

 

 

Plastic Kills

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Baba

We have always been hearing about how plastic is a serious threat to our planet, but not many people seem serious about the issue. Especially in India, where there is plastic just everywhere—even the blessings at temples are packed in plastic. The government does all the propaganda by making laws that plastic should be prohibited, but nothing is implemented. Just like anyone else living in this country, I am also affected by plastic, but something happened a few days ago which just blew my mind. Actually, I met someone new in my life a few weeks ago, and we became really good friends. A few weeks ago, I was sitting at Assi Crossing, and suddenly a bullock came to me.

Baba with Rahul

He was very cute, just came to me like we had known each other for a long time, and put his face over my lap. I started stroking him, and he seemed very relaxed by me doing it. Suddenly, a few of my other friends also came, and the bullock behaved very friendly with them as well. We offered him some food, but he didn’t seem to be very excited about eating it. Anyway, we named him that same evening, and his name was Baba. Baba was with us for almost an hour, and then we went back home. We saw Baba the next day at the same place where we had met yesterday.

Now we noticed something strange in Baba’s body. His stomach looked kind of bigger than his size. We tried to touch it, and it seemed very tight. We decided to ask someone who does dairy business if Baba’s stomach looked strange to him as well. Luckily, there is a dairy businessman right at Assi Crossing. We called him and asked what he thought about Baba’s stomach. Based on his experience, he said that Baba had eaten a lot of plastic, and that’s why his growth had stopped, he didn’t feel like eating, he was not happy, and if something was not done soon, then he might die as well.

We had also noticed some problems—that Baba seemed hungry but he could not eat. He seemed bigger in age than his physical growth. All of my friends were very sad to hear this, and we decided to contact some doctor. A friend of mine who owns a cow contacted the doctor, and the doctor said if the plastic had been in Baba’s body for a long time, then the only possible way to take it out was an operation. Baba was not in good shape at all. We noticed that he was becoming more and more skinny every day. We were still discussing what to do with Baba, and suddenly we saw his dead body by the corner of the street where we used to meet.

It was very sad to see him dead, and I don’t really think that we will ever forget him. But by looking at what happened with Baba, we can easily imagine what is the condition of our animals in India, the country where each and every form of life is worshiped. Talking about Varanasi, this city had a tradition of setting up big containers at every corner of the alleys, which would be filled with water and food by the locals of Varanasi so that street animals could stay happy and healthy. But now the situation has become really worse, and our street animals are dying by eating garbage which is mixed with plastic.

I have no hope from the government, and I think the only way to solve this problem would be some initiative from the people themselves. But it also seems very complicated because whatever we get is always packed in plastic, and it has to go somewhere. Usually, people put their garbage on the street from where it should be collected by the municipality. We also don’t have any system of separating the garbage, and everything is mixed. I think the best thing would be to use as little plastic as possible. I don’t know when things will change, but I will try my best to change myself for sure.

Baba Dead

RIP Baba.

Police in Varanasi

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Corruption is a very big issue in India nowadays, and everyone is talking about it. We even saw the results in the Delhi state assembly elections, where the Aam Aadmi Party changed the government solely on the issue of corruption. I was very excited after seeing the results of the Delhi elections, but sometimes things happen that make me feel like there is just no way to kill corruption in this country. Last week, I attended a friend’s wedding in Varanasi. After the wedding was finished, all of my friends returned home, but one of them parked his motorbike right in front of his home on the main street, which is usual in a city like Varanasi where there is no parking space available  anywhere.

At 2:30 AM, I got a call from the same friend saying his bike was missing. He called me seeking help to find the bike. We went together on the street asking people if anyone had seen our bike, and a person told us that he had seen two policemen taking the bike. We went to the nearest police station, and the officer there said that the bike was found unattended and hence sent to a bigger police station about a kilometer away from my place. At the big police station, we found everyone asleep except for one person standing by the entrance. We asked him about our bike and he confirmed it was there but said we needed to talk to the officer.

We went to the officer and found him sleeping on his chair. We tried to wake him up, but he was in a super sound sleep. Finally, after several attempts, he woke up. We explained our situation, and he said we would have to go to court the next day, pay a fine of Rs. 10,000, and only then would we get our bike. We knew he was lying. We requested him repeatedly to give us our bike back, and he finally agreed after talking with the policemen who had brought the bike from the street. He asked us to go back on the street to look for those policemen.

We had no idea where to find them. We requested the officer to kindly confirm their location by talking with them on the phone, but the officer just didn’t want to help us. He always seemed more interested in his sleep. Anyway, we returned to the same location and luckily found those police officers. We explained our situation and they were cooperative. They asked us to go back to the police station and have the officer talk with them. Back at the police station, we again found the officer sleeping. It was a serious pain to wake him up, but the mission was successful. He opened a register, looked at a few pages, and found the page where he had written the bike number.

Then he asked for the bike registration papers, which we did not have. The papers were with the friend who owned the bike. We tried calling him, but he did not respond. We went to his home, woke him up, brought him to the police station with all the papers, and waited. Right in front of our eyes, the officer closed the register and again fell asleep, asking us to wait. We didn’t know what to do. I laughed in anger, and we started talking among ourselves, like “This is our great India, this is the system,” things like that.

The awake policeman who was listening told us, “Now you are laughing too much, but imagine what would have happened if a thief had stolen your bike.” I didn’t know what to tell him, but I replied that we were laughing only because our bike was safe with the police. After waiting 15 to 20 minutes, we asked the awake policeman to wake the sleeping officer. Finally, the officer woke up, looked at the documents again, and asked for Rs. 500. We all looked at each other and asked why he needed Rs. 500. When we asked this question, he got upset, closed the register, and fell asleep again, asking us to go to court the next day.

We knew well that if we went to court, we’d have to bribe maybe 10 people, because everything is super corrupt at the courts too. It was already 4 AM, and we had no hope other than bribing him. We finally gave him Rs. 500 and got our bike back. But when I think about that policeman’s behavior, it makes me feel like our police exists to torture us and nothing else. The policeman had no interest in helping, always tried to make the situation more complicated, and was very rude, corrupt, fat, lazy, sleepy, and a bigger thief than regular thieves. And I have never met any policeman better than him. I have also never met anyone who said they found a helpful policeman.

I think it’s definitely time to dismiss the entire police system and bring in fresh people with different training. I’ve heard that our police are trained the same way as in the British Raj days. The police were trained to fight locals back then, and they are still trained the same way today. Our political system has never had time to improve the police system because they are also involved in looting the country. I’m sure this problem could be solved by bringing a new police act and using more technology, but I don’t see much hope, especially for my state of Uttar Pradesh, where governments come to power by playing caste and religion politics.

I have always believed that Indian police are somehow responsible for every problem we have, and if things don’t change soon, I guarantee the dream of India becoming a superpower will remain just a dream forever.

Untouchability/ Impurity

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The idea of unaccountability has always been part of Hindu culture but it also changed the way everything changed over time. If we look at real idea of unaccountability then it is completely karma based and anyone can become untouchable or impure by doing certain karma at anytime in their lives but at present certain communities are considered 24 hours untouchable. The best examples in my city are the people who work at cremation sites.There is so huge discrimination against them that the community doesn’t seem to have any hope. Even they don’t consider themselves as someone who can even dream of changing their lives.

I still remember when I worked with CBC a few years ago on a documentary project which was about filming a young Doam (the caste of people who work at the cremation grounds) whose father was still involved in the cremation ground but the son was either studying computers or working at a multinational company and at one moment we thought that it was impossible to find someone in such condition because no family had ever sent their kids to the school. Anyways, something magic happened and we found an amazing person for our episode, in fact it was the best story of the series.

Something really in interesting happened with me last night which made me write this story and really made me think if there is any impact of education on Indian society or not? Are we still stuck with that crazy system of unaccountability/ impurity / discrimination of the basis of somebody’s caste? And the worse thing is that nobody wants to think about the real idea and just want to go with the present system. One of my friend’s father died yesterday and I went to the cremation ground with my two friends who are my age graduate living in so called educated Indian city.

Both of my friends were really concerned about getting touched by anyone at the cremation ground because it would have made them impure or untouchable. The idea of impurity associated with cremation says that whoever participates in the funeral becomes impure until they have taken a bath again. They were planning to keep a distance from all of the family members, even my friend. They warned me also to not get touched by anyone but I did not know how to make it happen. I was going to my friend father’s funeral and I knew that at least I was going to hug him or touch him to show my sorrow and support in this difficult time.

Anyways, I arrived at the cremation ground and saw my friend standing alone and looking at his father’s funeral. That feeling of seeing my friend was so strong to me that I could not stop myself by going close to him. My other friend’s, who were concerned about getting touched, also came with me. I was talking with my friend and suddenly I noticed that two other friends who had come with me were gone now. They were standing kind of 20 meters away from me. Suddenly the friend who father had died started crying and now I could not stop myself by putting my hand over his shoulder. We were standing like this for a while and then I went to my other friends and we returned back home.

But the most interesting experience for me when I started my motorbike to drive back home. It was the same motorbike I had used to reach at the cremation ground with two other friends but now they did not want to ride it. We were three on one motorbike with me being the driver and my other friends were asking each other to sit on the bike first so that they don’t touch me. Anyways, they also came on my bike and we all drove back together. The next day one of those friends came to me and said that he had to change his clothes and take a bath before entering in home only because I touched someone at the cremation ground and they got touched by me.

I thought about it a lot and was wondering if this idea of impurity is more important than showing your support to a friend who is facing a death of a family member? Anyways, I think I just did not do anything wrong, in fact I did not do anything, it was just my human feeling which made me touch that friend. I also want to respect traditions but definitely can’t compromise with my social duties.

Blogging

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I started to blog about six years ago and I have always enjoyed it so much. In fact blogging changed my whole life: it improved my writing, my thinking, increased my social networking and got me a lot of attention. In the beginning I was just writing about anything, even my guests staying at my guesthouse but later I took it more seriously and I started writing about social issues, tourism, corruption, politics etc. But now I have been going through really strange situation ever since my blog has gotten good ranking on google. I never paid any money or put any extra efforts to get good ranking on google, it all happened automatically and I was always so happy and proud of my blog.

But ever since I have been getting good ranking on my blog, I have also started to get threats from different people who are upset with my writings. It was the first time last year when I had to remove one of the posts I wrote about a very famous TV show filming in Varanasi. I just wrote about my views on how they contacted me first, wanted to offer me the assignment but when I asked my salary they said that they did not have a fancy budget to pay my salary. Later I introduced one of my friends to the team and he agreed on working with them. When the crew arrived in Varanasi, I was surprised to see how big budget they had. And finally the producer asked my friend to get him some empty receipts so that he can fill some crazy amount and get money for it.

It was a very strange experience for me because I had already worked with so many TV channels from all over the world and none of them ever asked for such thing. I finally wrote about it and it became a serious problem for me because the producer sitting in Mumbai office found my post way before the show was ever on TV. The crew started calling me several times a day and threatened me by saying that they know so many people in Varanasi, they will go to the court against me etc… Finally under pressure of the crew and my friend who worked with them, I had to remove that post and it was a very upsetting moment for me. It took me more than a few weeks to recover from that incident.

Anyways, something similar again happened with me last week. I wrote a post about a guesthouse in Varanasi based in my person experience about how stupid the guesthouse staff and owner were in dealing with their guests. Actually one of my groups was staying at this guesthouse in the year 2011 and I got a call from the guesthouse owner the same day the group arrived saying that I should tell my group that I can’t provide any services to my group. I was surprised to hear it and I asked him if he was sure what he was talking about and he said that if I provide any boat, taxi or tours to my guests then they would kick the group out of their hotel. The owner also suggested me some stupid excuses like I can tell my guests that I don’t know anything about Varanasi.

Anyways, I informed my group about it and they also talked with the hotel owner, they had a little fight but later everything was fixed. But the guesthouse owner had threatened me by saying that I am new in the industry, I don’t know the rules, I should not try to be so smart and he will see me. I decided to write about it on my blog and same thing happened what had happened with that TV group. They started calling me, sending me emails and such things. Finally I got a call last week from a dude in my neighborhood who asked me to remove that post. I thought a lot about whether I should remove that post or not and decided to ask the group what they thought. I was surprised to see that the same group was going to stay at that same guesthouse in their next trip to India.

They said that it is convenient for them to stay at the same place because it is the closest guesthouse to the building where they have all of their business in Varanasi. I was kind of upset after hearing this but thought what can I do if even the group is not supporting me. So finally I removed that post also. All these removal of my posts and similar incidences all across India have raised a serious question about whether I should still write about corruption or not. Recently a writer was arrested and sent to jail because he made a comment on Facebook about some politician. Where is the freedom of expression and freedom of speech? At a moment I had thought to take help of Police but later realized that Police is definitely more corrupt than any the camera crew or the guesthouse owner.

I don’t know if I will ever write about corruption issues on my city level because I feel threatened by these local mafias. I have a family and I need to think about them as well. And in any case I never feel like having enough time to become part of bullshit politics. Peace.

Juna Akhada Peshwani

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In Hinduism, Akhara (also akhada) is an association of the different sects of Yogis, also known as Sadhus (Hindu Renunciates). Its history dates back to the eighth century when Adi Shankaracharya established seven Akharas. Some yogis revere Gorakhnath as the founder rather than Shankaracharya. The 7 ancient Akharas are Mahanirvani, Niranjani, Atal, Avahan, Agni and Anand Akhara. Today there are 3 major Akharas (Juna, Mahanirvani and Niranjani) and 3 minor Akharas (Atal affiliated with Mahanirvani, Anand affiliated with Niranjan). Traditionally during the Kumbh Mela, the Naga Sadhus, and the ‘Akharas’, lead and initiate the bathing rituals, before the general population steps in.

Since these group of Sadhus reside in different parts of India, they all have to gather together and then they follow the festival or whatever the reason could be. There is also something very important process of participating in the festival which is called Peshwani. Basically Peshwani is a procession organized to show the official arrival of a group of Sadhus in a city. The same Peshwani was organized by Juna Akhada in Varanasi during Kumbh Mela 2013. I had heard a lot of Peshwanis but had never seen one but luckily this year I got an opportunity to see it. I made a video also which Peshwani of Juna Akhada in Varanasi on 2nd of March 2013 :

Tourist guide license renewal

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My tourist guide license was issued in January 2010 and it was valid up to 29th of January, 2013. My license said that I needed to surrender my license 45 days before the date of expiry in order to get it renewed. I started contacting Ministry of Tourism office in New Delhi and it seemed like they did not have any information. Every time I contacted them they said that I should contact my local tourist guide association. It was a very big problem for me because I never took any membership of any guide association in Varanasi. Finally I got some information from one of my friends in Delhi. He had the proforma of the form I need to fill up.

He also told me that I needed to go to Delhi personally to deposit my license with tourism office. My friend suggested me to talk with the Delhi office before leaving for Delhi. I contacted the Delhi office and they told me a really strange rule that they would accept renewal application only on Wednesday, Thursday and Fridays in the second and third week of January. I was already booked for the second week hence I had to cancel a couple of bookings from the first week and flew to Delhi. I reached at the tourism office in Delhi around 11 AM and they asked me come after 4 PM. I thought that they asked me to come later because maybe the concerned office was not present there.

I was just wandering around here and there for 5 hours and finally when I reached there again by 4, the same officer whom I met in the morning took my application, made me sign on a few papers and issued me a temporary license which said that my license was under renewal process hence I am allowed to work as a regional level tourist guide till 31st of April. I have no idea why they called me to Delhi if they only wanted me to sign a few papers or made me wait for 5 hours if the same person from the morning was responsible for issuing my license. If it was all about signing a few papers then they should have better organized it by post or online. I don’t know when we will start using our IT knowledge for ourselves. Anyways, everything went well but I didn’t like going to Delhi.

Public Display of Affection in Europe and India

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a young couple walking in Budapest

Public display of affection is something not seen at all in India. Actually its very strange here. The people who love each other are not supposed to show any physical intimacy in public whereas regular friends can hug each other, hold hands and sometimes kiss on cheeks. Holding hands and hugging is the most common act of physical intimacy seen in India amongst same sex person but it doesn’t mean that they are homosexuals. Its again very strange that homosexuals never want to hold hands, hug or kiss each other in public because homosexuality is very very hidden and homosexual people don’t want to express their sexuality. I have met so many Europeans and Americans who always thought that same sex people holdings hand of each other are homosexual because this is how it works in their world.

a middle aged couple in Vienna

Usually friends do such things and there is no idea making love behind it. If people see a couple kissing or hugging they want to watch it. Holding hands is kind of becoming common and is not kind of issue anymore in big Indian cities. Anyways, I have also grown up in the same culture where I never saw any act of physical intimacy in public. My city gets a lot of western people from all over the world who some time kiss and hug in public so at least people in my city have an idea about it. Every once in a while we see some crazy drunk westerner making love on the street. Making love doesn’t mean having sex but finding a westerner kissing or hugging is not something unknown to the people of Varanasi. Doesn’t matter whether they have seen it or not but they are very well aware of this culture.

an old couple in Vienna

I think that having sex or watching people having sex has always been one of the biggest attractions amongst us humans in our whole history. But the world has changed a lot within past a few decades. There are several countries and cultures where sex is discussed, is opened (doesn’t mean in public: in fact there are places where people can go in groups and have sex but is usually a group activity rather than a public activity), people have a choice and it is seen in a very different way than the it is seen in my culture and country. This idea of watching people making love or just seeing them in their undergarments is very exciting for Indians because we just don’t see such thing happening. And whenever we see someone in such condition, most of the time they are western people.

an old couple in Vienna

I am very well aware that a lot of people go to places like Goa in India just to watch western woman in bikinis. In fact, when I went to Goa first time in my life it was also to watch western girls in bikinis and find cheap alcohol. To be honest most of the woman I saw in Goa were old with ugly bodies:) Still when I see someone kissing on the street my eyes like to stop and watch it. But I usually try to avoid it because I don’t like to disturb people but my mind still talks with me about that picture while I am trying not to watch them. I think situation should be the same with most of the Indians, even the ones who try not to watch people kissing or making love. And I don’t really mind it because we just don’t see such thing happening and foreigners should also learn about these cultural issues before coming here and try to respect and be respected. But at the same time we can’t blame foreigners either because it is very important part of their culture.

a newly married couple in Buda

Anyways, I got to travel to Europe (Hungary, Austria and Slovakia) , in fact anywhere out of India for first time in my life a few weeks ago. Everything was different than what I was used to hence everything was a shock, in fact very interesting shock. I don’t want to discuss about all those things in this post but I would like to discuss the idea of the importance of physical intimacy and public display of affection. I had started seeing couples kissing, holding hands, sitting on the lap, caressing, nestling… as soon as I crossed the immigration area at Delhi airport. The most interesting thing was that very good percentage of Indians were also involved in such act who usually never do such thing in public.

a young couple in Vienna

It seemed like they had planned to do it as soon as they leave India but could not wait for the flight to land:) haha. Maybe they had not planned it together with their partners but they had planned it with themselves for sure. Experience make us feel comfortable and I could easily see that Indians were not comfortable doing what they wanted to and looked completely inexperienced. hahaha. I am sure that they did not want to do sex in public but they just did not know what they were doing. They didn’t seem comfortable even in touching each other but they were trying their best. I am not making fun of those people I saw at the airport but It was really funny and interesting both for a person like me to see them. Because I just don’t see such thing happening in my society by the locals and they had changed their as soon as they crossed immigration area at the airport.

even statues were making love

When I arrived in Europe I saw people kissing and hugging just everywhere even inside a church. They were very comfortable with it and it seemed like it was just not an issue at all. I saw people kissing in the train, at the crossings, shopping malls, restaurants, zoo…just everywhere. It seems like kissing is as important as meat to Europeans. I saw all aged people, literally as young as 14 years old kissing in public. Kissing seems very important to Europeans. Once I saw a young shop keeper smooching her boyfriend in front of the customer and the customer waiting for them to finish.

couples at Szimplakart pub in Budapest

I was very well aware about this culture in Europe years before I went there but I was still surprised when I saw it first and my first few days were shocking for me in terms of seeing people making love on the street. I think I had stopped noticing or watching it after a week or so but it was something which won’t go out of my mind soon. In fact once I was discussing this issue with my host Attila and told him about how I saw Indians involved in physical intimation in public at Delhi airport or in Hungary or other European countries I visited and Attila was so surprised and he asked me why Indians don’t do such things in India also if they like to do it.

men and women dancing together at a cultural event in Kesthai, Budapest

Attila had already spent more than an year and half living in India and he was very well aware of what I was talking about. I did not know how to make him understand but his question was very genuine that why don’t we do it if we like to do it? I knew the answer but it was hard for an European mind to understand. Sex is very very hidden in India, even talking about it with parents and unknown people is something which just doesn’t happen. Everyone does sex but they don’t want to talk about it. I have met so many people, to be honest all of the people all I meet, who find such sexual acts like cunnilingus and several other sex positions very exciting but they never want to admit that they do it with their partners and always relate with something coming from the western world which is very dirty, disgusting and unnatural. haha

temple art in Khajuraho, India

I am sure that everyone does it but they just don’t admit, even when they are talking with their friends. It is again very interesting for me to see why people relate such sexual acts with western world when all of them are mentioned in Kamasutra or if they are present on the temples of Khajuraho and several others all over India. I think we were practicing all of those acts way before western people started talking about it, at least it was very open part of the society thousands of years before the first sex museum was opened in the world or anyone ever tried to document sex in this whole world. Anyways, my issue is about present India so I should about present.

A young couple in Bratislava, Slovakia

I just mean to say that sex is a very very hidden act in India which is one of the reason why we don’t see public display of affection in India. The second biggest reason behind this issue is the safety of woman in India, woman rights issues and in fact safety of couples also who dare to show physical intimacy in public. It was hard for Attila to understand why someone could be upset by watching others kissing but I understand it very well. Anyways, Attila only seemed upset and I could not satisfy him with my answers. The world knows how Shiv Sena was targeting people celebrating Valentines Day in India. If we try to learn how they were protesting against the festival then we can see that they were not actually looking for people celebrating the festival but mostly they were targeting the couples.

In fact kissing is seen as a form of greeting also in western culture. Men are kissing each other in a wedding part for greeting.

They wanted to beat the couples who were found together watching cinema, hanging around in the park or other public places. So it clearly means that they were protesting against the people and not the festival itself. And I know it very well that the all the people who were protesting against the festival either had a partner whom they went out with to celebrate festival the same day or definitely they wanted to have someone. And I personally know so many people from my own city, who were part of the Shiv Sena and were targeting people celebrating the festival, now are either married with the someone whom they loved or they have girlfriend.

a view of Rajdari waterfall from Devdari

Only after a week after I returned from Europe I went to visit a water fall 50 KMs from Varanasi called Raj Dari. This water fall is a very famous picnic spot for people living in Varanasi and nearby districts and hundreds of people visit the fall on Sundays during rainy season. I was there to find rock paintings and to watch people. The whole region of Chandauli district has several sites with ancient rock paintings and tree fossils which are said to be around 1400 million years old. While I was looking for ancient rock paintings I heard a group of people shouting which made me look at them

Couples bathing together in public is no problem in Europe

It was a group of like 15-20 men, all different aged, mostly young who were taking a bath. A young girl who was wearing Punjabi suit was also taking a bath hardly 20 meters away from them. She was with her boy friend and wearing Punjabi suit mean her whole body was covered with cloth. That group of 15 men was taunting at her. They were calling her with the name black panty. And they were doing it repeatedly in front of hundreds of other people who were there. They were taunting such things like- call us also, we are also very good…

usual scene at bathing places in Europe

The couple was doing nothing other than taking a bath, even they were not kissing or doing anything which can be considered as a sexual act. Her dress was also not different than bathing dress of woman in India. I am 100% sure that it happened with her only because she was with her boyfriend. Most probably such thing would have not happened with her if she was with her parents. It happens with woman even when they are with their families as well but it is more likely to face such situation when they are with their boyfriends. The girl was so nervous and uncomfortable with the situation that she came out of the water and walked away from there.

Even when she was walking away another group also joined and they all started taunting at her with vulgar languages. I know that such things are less likely to happen in big cities and one of the biggest reason behind why such happened is because those people were locals and there was no security at all. But the question that raised in my mind was-

  • Does a girl need security if she wants to take a bath at a water fall?
  • Are couples not allowed to be together?
  • What do such people think about the the couples who kiss or hug, do the think that the girl wants to be kissed and hugged by just anyone on the street or do they think that she is a slut?
  • What about freedom to express your feelings?
  • What about constitution of India which allows us to choose our life partner?
  • What about constitution of us human beings which allows us to live and let others live?

a couple in Bratislava, Slovakia

There are thousands of questions but its very sad that because of such practices we just don’t have any answer for them. The bitter truth is that if we try to study the mentality of such people then we find out that if they see a girl doing anything which can be considers a sexual act, even kissing or hugging, the girl is immediately thought to be a slut who is wanting such thing to be done with herself by just anyone. In small Indian cities and villages If a girl is found in relationship with anyone boy then people talk about it and now the whole neighborhood wants to try that girl out.

I don’t know what is right or wrong but it was really upsetting for me to see how that girl was being taunted and abused only because she was with her boyfriend. The radical and nationalist groups in India relate such things with something coming from the western world and we should not allow such things because it is against Indian culture. But I think we as a human have a human culture before we get into any particular country’s culture. Love, hate, emotions, feelings are natural human behavior and it just can’t be stopped. And in any case if something hurts us then we should try to control ourselves first and then think about others.

I still don’t know whether my Indian system is better than what I saw in Europe or not but one thing is very sure that woman are living in very tough condition in India. If we just look at this data it can easily tell the story about woman in India. But one thing I would like say for sure that whatever I saw in Europe looked really lovely and I saw Indians also enjoying it in Europe and missing in their own country. Jai Hind. I got a funny picture online which shows the difference I am trying to talk about-