Delhi Gay Pride 2009 – afterparty

Posted on July 4, 2009 by nandan

Megan and Adam were running late, so I told them to head off while I stayed behind for the party. I wandered around and eventually stopped at a bus stop, where I sat for a while. Two people, who seemed to be from rural areas, came and sat next to me. It appeared that they had also witnessed the parade and were discussing it. One of them was visibly angry about the parade. He was cursing the government and the event organizers, expressing his frustration that people were openly mocking Indian culture and that the government was allowing it.

His remarks suggested he hadn’t explored the historical and cultural aspects of Indian traditions. For instance, the *Ramayana* includes references to hijras with practices similar to those of modern gays, the *Kamasutra* discusses homosexuality, and the temples at Khajuraho feature numerous sculptures depicting same-sex relations. It seemed clear that his views were influenced by a limited understanding of Indian cultural and historical context. I haven’t visited Khajuraho, but I have read the Ramayana and looked at the Kamasutra. From these sources, it seems that India has a very old gay culture, which was accepted in society but became criminalized by the British.

After spending an hour wandering around, I returned to the place where the bus was supposed to start from. There, I met a 20-year-old student from Delhi University. I was sitting near the bus when he came over and sat next to me. He said that attending the parade had made him feel more confident and open. He mentioned that he had been shy before the parade, but the experience had helped him overcome his shyness and embrace his identity with greater assurance. He wanted to talk to me about a problem he was having with his boyfriend.

He said that his boyfriend had stopped communicating with him and had slapped him a few months ago in front of his friends. He was very upset about this and sought my advice. Despite the situation, he mentioned that his boyfriend used to love him a lot, and he found it hard to believe that they could ever break up. He was deeply in love with him. I advised him to wait a while, keep trying to contact his boyfriend, and see how things developed. He seemed quite relieved and happy to hear that he should make an effort to stay in touch.

I asked him if he had told his parents about his boyfriend, and he said no, because he was afraid they would be angry if they found out. I then asked if he would like to marry his boyfriend, and he said that’s what he wanted. When I inquired whether he thought his parents would ever accept him marrying a man, he was silent for a moment and then said no. I also asked if his friends knew about his boyfriend, and he said they did, but only a few were supportive. Most of his friends just made fun of him.

He sought my advice on how to dress to look attractive at the party. He had an extra sleeveless t-shirt that he had bought specifically for the occasion, and he also had a piece of cloth that he wanted to wrap around his waist to enhance his look. Although I’m not a fashion expert, I did my best to help him look his best. As I spoke with him, I wondered what might happen if he were forced into a marriage with a woman. He had no need to marry someone of the opposite sex, and it would be detrimental for both him and his potential bride. Many homosexual individuals in India are coerced into such marriages, which seems like a grave injustice to me.

I also noticed something interesting: many homosexual individuals were calling each other by feminine or humorous names, such as using the word “randi” (slut). I didn’t quite understand why they did this. While hijras often adopt feminine names, homosexuals usually don’t, but it seemed that they enjoyed using these names among themselves. Additionally, I found it notable that homosexuals were making fun of hijras. On the bus ride to the party, there were quite a few hijras on board as well.

Hijras are known for their distinctive clapping and hijra songs. All the hijras on the bus were singing their songs and clapping in their traditional style. However, a group of homosexual individuals being interviewed on the bus continuously mocked the hijras. They would say things like, “Oh my God! Where did these hijras come from, these randis…” At one point, a guy even stood up and loudly asked if anyone had a one-rupee coin to give to the “randi hijras,” so they would stop clapping and singing. Although there was no malice intended, it was clear that they were making fun of the hijras. Despite this, everyone seemed to be in good spirits, and it was a fun ride overall.

I really enjoyed that bus ride and will never forget it. The atmosphere was vibrant—people were laughing, singing, hugging each other, and playfully teasing one another. It was so much fun. Eventually, the bus stopped, and we arrived at M Lounge Bar in Sector 15, Noida. I had expected it to be a place with just some food, drinks, and conversation, but it turned out to be much more than I imagined. In fact, it was a disco. As soon as I stepped in, everything I saw was completely new to me, as I had never been to a disco before.

People were dancing, drinking, hugging, and kissing—I had never seen anything like it before. There was a bar in the disco, and I decided to have a drink, but I didn’t realize how expensive everything would be. While entrance was free for parade participants, the drinks, food, and cigarettes were quite costly. I had a shot of whiskey and a bottle of beer, but I still wanted more because the atmosphere was so thrilling. I was having a fantastic time. Finally, I had to leave the disco to buy some alcohol from a shop. Before I did, I ran into the organizer, Mr. Amit Agrawal, and chatted with him for a while.

He was too drunk to have a meaningful conversation, so he directed me to speak with one of the other organizers, a 25-year-old student. He mentioned that he was also gay. When I asked if he had informed his family, he said, “No.” I inquired whether he thought his parents would approve of him marrying his boyfriend, and he said he wasn’t sure. However, he was certain that he wouldn’t want to marry a girl. He mentioned that they had organized the parade without any financial assistance from NGOs, institutions, or charities. The entire event was funded by a group of gays, who had contributed their own money to make it happen.

He was quite intoxicated and gave me his mobile number, asking me to call him the next day for further discussion. After our conversation, I returned to the disco, where the party was in full swing. Everything I saw there was entirely new to me. I saw many gay couples kissing, hugging, and dancing together. One couple, with a 60+ year-old man and a 20-year-old, stood out—they had the longest kiss I’ve ever seen, lasting for about two hours. There were also hijras with their partners, and I observed them kissing as well. Additionally, a few lesbian couples were present.

It was clear that the regular patrons of the disco were taken aback; they would sit in a corner, watching the scene with shocked and curious expressions. It was evident they had never witnessed anything like this before. I don’t think any of the regular patrons danced that night; they were simply observing what was happening. It was such a fun experience. At first, it felt a bit strange and I was shocked, much like the other regulars, but after a few minutes, everything seemed normal. I felt like everyone was just enjoying themselves, and the most important thing was that they were happy. The sense of freedom and joy was palpable, and it was truly awesome to witness.

It was amusing when one of the guys came up to me, started dancing, and touched my butt. I wasn’t sure how to react at first, but after a few seconds, he left me and joined someone else. I appreciated how he respected my feelings, and I think we should extend the same respect to others. None of the LGBTQ+ individuals made fun of me, insulted me, or tried to disturb me because I was straight. I don’t understand why straight people often make fun of or insult LGBTQ+ individuals. Why can’t straight people respect gay people’s feelings in the same way they expect their own feelings to be respected?

Now that the party was over, I headed back home. I really enjoyed the party—it was an incredibly fun night. Participating in and supporting the parade, along with the exciting party, felt like one of the best things I had ever done for myself. I was scheduled to talk with two members of the organizing committee the next morning, and I was looking forward to it. However, when I called them, both said they had drunk too much the previous night and just wanted to sleep. As a result, I couldn’t speak with them. I will try to talk with them the next time I visit Delhi.

Mr. Amit had asked me to help organize a Gay Pride Parade in Benares as well, but I’m unsure if the city is ready for such an event. Overall, my experience was fantastic, and I genuinely enjoyed participating in the parade. I witnessed the struggles faced by the gay community in India, listened to their concerns, and spoke with many of them. Ultimately, I believe that they deserve equal rights—equal rights in all aspects of life and social acceptance. Although I don’t know how long it will take for them to achieve equal rights in India, it is clear that gaining social acceptance will be a long and challenging process.

The gay community exists everywhere in the world, though it may be hidden in some places due to social pressure and more visible in others due to increased awareness, education, and liberalization. I recently read a newspaper article about an NGO working with the gay community in Varanasi. The article mentioned that the NGO was assisting 1,500 gay individuals in the city. However, I believe this number is an underestimate. The actual number is likely much higher, as many gay people choose not to make their relationships public due to societal non-acceptance.

Gay culture is private, and it’s unreasonable to assume we should know or judge what happens behind closed doors. Such thoughts are misguided. Outside of private spaces, everyone—whether homosexual or straight—engages in similar activities. When a person is born in India, they are entitled to basic human rights, including freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and equal rights. Gay culture represents a different perspective, nothing more, and everyone has the right to their own beliefs and ways of living.

Some people prefer relationships with the opposite sex, while others are attracted to the same sex. Just as those who are attracted to the opposite sex deserve to pursue their relationships freely, so too should those who are attracted to the same sex. If we advocate for equal rights, then gay individuals should be afforded the same rights as everyone else on this planet. Imagine being forcibly married to someone of the same sex; it would be an incredibly difficult situation if you were not inclined toward that relationship. The same consideration should be applied to everyone who views homosexuality as abnormal. It’s worth reflecting on.

The God got sick :)

Posted on June 9, 2009 by nandan

Yesterday was an important day for the Jagannath Temple to celebrate a festival called Rathyatra. People from all over India visit the temple to participate in a ritual where the deity is bathed with water throughout the day. It is believed that by evening, the deity becomes unwell due to the prolonged bathing. Typically, sweets are offered in temples, but once the deity is said to be sick, offerings change to parwal (a type of vegetable) and basil soup. This soup is then distributed among the people as a blessing. Following this offering, the temple is closed for the next fifteen days.

Parwal and basil soup is an Ayurvedic remedy commonly prescribed for cold and cough. The idea is that this medicinal soup will help the deity recover. During these fifteen days, the temple gate remains closed, except for a daily opening to offer the basil and parwal soup. After the fifteen days, it is believed that the deity will have recovered, and the statue is taken out of the temple on a chariot and brought to Lord Jagannath’s Sasural (in-law’s) temple near Rathyatra, to allow the deity a period of respite after the illness.

In Benares, the deity is taken to the Sasural temple, while in Puri, the statue is brought to Lord Jagannath’s aunt’s temple. The statue remains there for two days, after which a large fair is organized. In Benares, the statue is paraded on a chariot and placed on the main road near Rathyatra Crossing for three days. After the fair concludes, the statue is returned to the temple. These are the only three days in the year when the Jagannath Temple in Benares is without its statue. This festival is known as Rathyatra.

While the fair in Benares is significant, it is not as large as the one in Puri, which is enormous. Last year, over ten million people attended the Puri fair.

Behavior of ghosts in villages

Posted on May 25, 2009 by nandan

I have always been intrigued by people who believe they are affected by ghosts and who go to great lengths, such as visiting babas or exorcists, to rid themselves of these supposed spirits. I’ve wanted to learn more from individuals who claim to have been haunted by ghosts or who have had ghostly encounters. Recently, I had the opportunity to meet a few people who feel possessed by ghosts and believe these entities are ruining their lives. A few days ago, I was in my village for my cousin’s wedding. I used to discuss ghost stories with him and my other cousin, and they shared some fascinating tales about ghosts in their village.

They mentioned a place where people who believe they are possessed go to seek relief. After the wedding, I asked my cousin to take me to this place, which was about 5 kilometers from the village. We navigated narrow paths, observed the picturesque village life, and finally arrived at the location where people come to be freed from ghosts. It was the tomb of a Muslim baba who had passed away many years ago. Locals believe that this baba had supernatural powers to combat ghosts and that he can still help even after death.

There were two tombs: a small one and a large one. We visited the small tomb first. I was told that Thursday is a special day for this place, attracting more visitors, although I’m not sure why Thursday is significant. Since it was Friday, I hoped there wouldn’t be many people. However, I was shocked to find about 30 families who had set up temporary shelters there. I noticed that these shelters lacked basic amenities like stoves or beds; people cooked outside and slept under the open sky. The temporary shelters were used mainly in case of rain. As I walked around the tomb, I encountered several distressing sights. I saw three people chained to a tree.

I approached one of them and sat nearby. Another man sitting there invited me to join him, and fortunately, he began explaining what was happening. He described his great distress due to ghosts. He explained that he had come there with his brother, who was also chained to a tree. The brother used to work as a tailor in Mumbai, while his brother worked in a factory in Ludhiana. One day, his sister-in-law called, reporting that her husband was behaving strangely and would not come home. He was exhibiting odd behaviors, making strange noises, and so on.

His condition seemed to suggest possession by ghosts to his brother, who instructed his sister-in-law to bring him to their village immediately. This man left his job in Mumbai to care for his brother. When I asked how he knew his brother was possessed, he claimed to have supernatural powers and experience with such matters. Upon arriving in the village, they took the possessed person to the tomb. The person resisted staying there and would often try to escape, which led them to chain him to the tree. He said his brother was haunted by several types of ghosts: one was an Aghori, another a Chamar, and others of different castes.

He explained that he inferred this from his brother’s actions, such as drinking his own urine (indicative of an Aghori) and spitting in his food or tearing his clothes (which he associated with a Chamar’s behavior). The final confirmation came from his conversation with the baba, whose tomb was there. I was puzzled when he mentioned speaking with the baba, as I knew the baba had died years ago. I asked him again, and he indicated the tomb, leading me to believe he was referring to one of the people present. My cousin clarified that he was talking about the baba whose tomb was there. According to him, after praying at the tomb, the baba communicates through the people’s tongues.

The baba never appears in person; instead, he allegedly possesses individuals and speaks through them. It was astonishing to hear such beliefs. The idea that the baba speaks through possessed individuals was difficult to grasp, but I continued to listen. I asked if he had ever been attacked by ghosts himself, and he loudly claimed that ghosts had continuously tried to attack him. However, because he also possessed some supernatural abilities, they could not harm him. He recounted an incident where, while riding his bicycle, he fell and broke his head after being struck by a ghost.

When I asked if he saw the ghost, he said no, but he believed it was a ghost due to the nature of the incident, which felt different from a mere accident. We then returned to his brother, and the affected person’s wife arrived with their six-month-old child, questioning her husband about who had inflicted the ghost upon him. I heard the affected person mention a name, but his wife disagreed, arguing that the person named was not capable of causing such problems. She insisted that he must provide the correct name and said they would keep him chained until he did. It seemed they had a specific name in mind and wanted it confirmed through the affected person’s responses. The affected person’s brother claimed the ghost was making him lie.

I asked the brother if his sibling felt any better since arriving at the tomb. He confidently stated that the baba’s help had significantly improved his brother’s condition after two months of confinement. It was distressing to think of a young man, around 26-27 years old, being locked up for two months. The brother also lamented the financial and time losses due to the ghost. He had left his job two months ago and was now financially depleted, yet he was determined to remain and fight the ghost. I was deeply troubled by the destruction of lives due to such beliefs. The sight of the six-month-old baby was particularly heartbreaking.

I suggested that they should consider seeing a doctor, but the brother proudly insisted that if his brother had a mental problem, he would be open to seeing a doctor. However, he believed that the problem was indeed ghostly and not a mental issue, as confirmed by the baba. It is hard to believe that such beliefs persist in the 21st century. I was even more saddened by the presence of numerous children who had been living there with their families for months. I wondered how these experiences might affect their future, as they might grow up to seek out exorcists or visit tombs themselves.

After speaking with the affected person, I walked around and saw two others also chained to trees. I wanted to speak with their families but found only a few children playing nearby. Many others were present, making strange noises, some talking to trees, walls, or even rubbing their bodies on the ground and screaming. It was disheartening to see so many people wasting their lives in this way. I decided to visit the second tomb, about 2 kilometers away from the first. The situation there was similar but seemed more organized, with some convenience stores nearby.

I witnessed an intriguing incident where a person, seemingly possessed, fainted, and his family made him drink Coca-Cola. After drinking, he seemed rejuvenated and resumed his activities, which humorously suggested that even ghosts might have a taste for Coca-Cola. As it was getting late and I needed to return to Varanasi, I left the place feeling both shocked and saddened. After returning to Benares, I spoke with several people, many of whom also believed in ghosts. Some explained that there are 8.4 million forms of life, including ghosts, and that everyone becomes a ghost at some point. Others described ghosts as having both good and bad varieties, with the bad ones causing trouble.

One friend told me a story about a haunted village where ghosts supposedly urinate or defecate on food left out overnight and create disturbances while the resident sleeps. Another story involved a ghost who smokes beedis in a locked room, with people providing beedis when the ghost knocks. They believe the beedis are consumed by the ghost despite the room being locked. I read an article about an English ghost in Bihar, believed to be a British soldier who wanders his cemetery. People offer him toast, coffee, and cigarettes, and if they forget, he reportedly harms passersby. The ghost is described as appearing as a British soldier with a sword.

Some people believe that ghosts arise from unnatural deaths or improper death rites, which seems unfair to me. I spoke with Aghoris, who suggested that while ghosts might exist, they usually do not bother others unless provoked. I prefer this perspective over the fear of ghosts. I often think about ghosts due to their frequent mention in my society. While many are afraid of ghosts, I am more concerned about street dogs or police behavior at night. My friends have mentioned the concept of “flashbacks,” where one might see or hear things that aren’t actually there.

This phenomenon, which I’ve experienced myself, can be mistaken for ghostly activity. If it persists, seeing a doctor is advisable, though many attribute it to ghosts and seek out exorcists or babas, often at great personal cost. I am considering creating a video documenting individuals who believed they were possessed by ghosts, only to find relief through medical treatment, in hopes of helping others reconsider their approach. I’m unsure if this idea will be effective, but I would like to pursue it if my resources permit.

Group wedding of 32 poor couples

Posted on May 15, 2009 by nandan

Lok Samiti organized another group wedding for 32 underprivileged couples on May 10th this year. It was a grand event, with over 8,000 attendees. I arrived around 1 PM and saw families bustling with preparations for the wedding, everyone was brimming with excitement. The wedding was held at a Hanuman Temple near Rajatalab, Varanasi. Given the temple’s limited space, the event was set up in an open area behind the temple. They had erected a tent with a beautifully decorated stage for the couples.

Lok Samiti also arranged food for the attendees of the wedding. The main objective of organizing a group wedding is to eliminate dowry practices and assist underprivileged individuals in getting married. Since the wedding is officially registered and managed by Lok Samiti, the groom’s family is legally bound by a document that prohibits them from demanding any dowry from the bride’s family, either now or in the future. I find this approach commendable. All the couples who married under these conditions were so impoverished that they would have been unable to afford a wedding on their own.

Lok Samiti gave bicycles to all the grooms and sewing machines to the brides so that they can be self dependent. Actually a lot of people come to Varanasi city area from the villages to work and the idea behind giving bicycles is that these people can use theses bicycles to come to Varanasi and work. The same idea is behind giving sewing machines as well, that the brides could do some sewing work and make some money. A lot of people from different parts of India and abroad had donated money to make this noble event true. I was responsible to bring some foreign donation.

Lok Samiti’s members had been collecting donations for the past three months and, ultimately, they raised a total of Rs. 2,60,000, which included cash, grains, clothes, and other items. The MP from the Rajatalab area was the largest donor, contributing Rs. 66,000, while his wife was the second-largest donor, providing sarees worth Rs. 15,000. Many others also made generous contributions, giving a variety of gifts and supplies. I was also encouraged to contribute, but unfortunately, I was unable to due to the current economic situation and a lack of work. Last year, I had donated clocks to all the couples on behalf of Sanjeevani Booti.

Lok Samiti appointed representatives in various villages to find individuals interested in participating in the group wedding. These representatives approached villagers to gauge interest and initially selected the men. They then informed these men about the available women and facilitated introductions between their families to arrange the marriages. I heard that some of the couples had traveled from other districts. The couples varied widely in age; some appeared to be over 40, while others seemed as young as 15 or 16. However, Lok Samiti assured that they only select participants who are over 18.

Lok Samiti had initially organized the group wedding for 30 couples, but there were concerns that not all 30 might be present. In the end, however, not only did all 30 couples show up, but two additional couples also decided to get married on the spot. These two new couples selected their partners from among the guests and informed Nandlal Master, the President of Lok Samiti. Although Lok Samiti had prepared only 30 specially designed wedding chairs, they quickly arranged for two additional regular chairs to accommodate the extra couples, ensuring that all 32 couples could be married.

This group wedding was somewhat different from a traditional Hindu wedding. Instead of the usual rituals, the ceremony began with the couples adorning each other with flower garlands. The grooms applied sindoor to the brides’ heads, and the couples then held hands as a symbol of their lasting relationship. Instead of the traditional fire ritual, they circled the Hanuman temple seven times. After completing these key elements, the families were free to carry out any additional rituals or customs they wished. Once the seven circles around the temple were completed, the couples returned to the tent to continue with the remaining ceremonies.

It was truly enjoyable and fascinating. This year’s wedding felt more progressive from the brides’ perspective, as all the brides were asked to unveil their faces. In last year’s event, the brides had their faces covered with their sarees. Although the brides initially appeared on stage with their faces covered, Lok Samiti later instructed them to reveal their faces. It was quite a sight to see 32 couples getting married simultaneously. Overall, my experience was positive, though there were a few aspects that puzzled me. For instance, I noticed some brides seemed to be sleeping, which gave the impression that they were either uninterested in the marriage or that the ceremony held little significance for them.

Lok Samiti is planning to organize a group wedding for 51 couples again next year on May 10th. They have chosen this date because it is the wedding anniversary of the MP (Member of Parliament) from the Rajatalab area. Since he is always the largest donor and a key supporter of this event, they have decided to hold the wedding on this date annually. I’m excited for next year and look forward to seeing all the brides and grooms excited, joyful, and fully awake.

Kali temple, Kolkata

Posted on March 25, 2009 by nandan

I had an incredibly shocking experience in Kolkata, perhaps the most bizarre of my life. There’s a Kali temple in the city, one of the 51 Shaktipeeths and a significant Hindu pilgrimage site. According to Hindu Dharma, after Sati’s death, Shiva’s grief led him to perform the destructive Tandav dance. Concerned gods sought Vishnu’s help, who intervened by dismembering Parvati’s body. The locations where these body parts fell are now known as Shaktipeeths. I had heard about the Kali temple and was eager to visit. Despite a busy schedule, I made time for it, inviting Seranna to join me.

We were both excited to explore this Hindu shrine. The temple is notorious for its dishonest priests who often target outsiders. Having encountered similar issues at other temples, I was cautious and warned Seranna to be wary of strangers. As we arrived, a group of people surrounded our taxi, peering in through the window. I knew their intentions. As we exited the taxi, we were immediately surrounded by a group of 5-10 people dressed as priests, eager to guide us to the temple. I declined their offer, but they were insistent. They claimed it was a special day with a large crowd and offered to expedite our entry for a fee of Rs. 50 each. I pretended not to hear them.

I searched for a police officer to ask directions. One of the priests approached me, pointing to an alley and insisting that the temple was located there. I noticed others entering the temple directly, but he persisted. When I ignored him, his tone became aggressive, and he began yelling at me. He wanted me to accompany him, but I was determined not to. In such situations, I usually look for police officers, which has always worked for me. This time, however, one of the priests grabbed my hand and tried to force me into the alley. I had reached my limit and responded forcefully, becoming rude to him.

Fortunately, I noticed a few police officers nearby. I approached them, asked for directions, and they confirmed I was on the right path. The priests had attempted to lead me astray for unknown reasons. I shudder to think what might have happened if I had followed them. After dealing with the aggressive priests, I finally reached the temple. Another group of priests immediately approached me, asking for a Rs. 20 fee. I had planned to explore the temple on my own, but the long queue made me reconsider. I decided to hire one of the priests, choosing a young fifteen-year-old who seemed less experienced and potentially less dishonest.

He was polite at first, guiding me through secret passages and leading me to the statue within a few minutes. The chaos intensified as we approached the statue. The priests were aggressive, demanding more money from me. The crowd was unruly, with people pushing and shouting. Seranna had fallen from a five-foot wall, injuring herself. The priests were yelling at me, demanding all my belongings. I gave them Rs. 20, but they wanted more. I tried to leave, but they blocked my exit. More people were trying to enter, while others were being forced out by the priests. It was a chaotic scene, unlike anything I had ever experienced. I was overwhelmed and confused.

One priest attempted to steal my wallet, while another held my arm and shouted at others. I gave him Rs. 50, but he was still unsatisfied and demanded more. In desperation, I borrowed money from Seranna. I can’t recall the exact amount, but I discovered my wallet was empty, and Seranna had lost around Rs. 200-300. As we exited the statue area, I noticed a line of people, each holding a goat. The priest explained that these people were preparing to sacrifice animals. I was aware that animal sacrifice is practiced in a few Kali temples, but I didn’t realize the extent of it. Many believe that offering a goat to Kali brings her pleasure.

A priest was slaughtering the animals. I observed people washing their goats, adorning them with flowers, offering food, lighting incense, and chanting mantras. After the sacrifice, another priest would cut the meat into pieces, which were then distributed as a blessing. I saw many people arriving at the temple with goats, accompanied by the sound of drums. I discussed animal sacrifice with some priests in Varanasi. They explained that Hindu Dharma features a demon named Raktabīja, whose blood could multiply like seeds. He abused this ability by killing people and engaging in anti-religious activities. Eventually, Goddess Durga, in her Kali form, descended to defeat him.

However, each time Durga decapitated him, his blood would touch the ground, creating a new Raktabīja. To end the cycle, Kali drank all of his blood before it could touch the earth, ensuring his complete destruction. Many Kali depictions show her killing Raktabīja and drinking his blood, leading some to believe she enjoys blood. The priests clarified that the body parts wrapped around her are those of the demon, not innocent beings. They emphasized that Kali drank the blood only to eliminate the demon, not out of a desire for blood. The priests explained that this belief in Kali’s fondness for blood stems from the mythology surrounding her defeat of Raktabīja.

While I can’t verify the accuracy of this explanation, it made sense to me. I discussed animal sacrifice with my friends to gauge the strength of this belief. They claimed that offering a sacrifice at a Kali temple could guarantee the fulfillment of any wish, no matter the obstacles. They cited the example of a former Indian cricket captain who was removed from the team due to internal politics. Despite consistent good performances in domestic cricket, he struggled to regain his spot. After a pilgrimage to a Kali temple and animal sacrifice, he was selected for the team within fifteen days and performed better than before. This story illustrates the deep-rooted faith in animal sacrifice among those who believe in its power.”

In Hindu tradition, offering and breaking a coconut is considered a form of sacrifice, which I often do. I once read a Tantric text that referred to a mixture of lentils and curd as ‘mans,’ meaning ‘meat’ in modern Hindi. The text mentioned that offering meat to deities was once common but is now misinterpreted as requiring animal sacrifice. Regardless of the reasons behind animal sacrifice, many people don’t believe in it. Personally, I prefer offering a coconut over an animal.

After witnessing the animal sacrifice and dealing with the dishonest priests, I was overwhelmed and unable to speak. Seranna helped me leave the temple, and I sat outside for a while to recover. Eventually, I found my bearings and decided to visit a Mother Teresa home nearby. I asked a police officer for directions and discovered it was in the next building. I went there and stayed for a while. The Mother Teresa organization’s work is truly inspiring. Witnessing their dedication to social welfare was a heartwarming experience. I spent time there, trying to forget the unpleasant events earlier. After some time, I regained my composure and left the temple, avoiding another look.

Hindu Dharma upholds the belief that all life is sacred, and Goddess Kali is revered as the mother of the universe. I firmly believe that a mother would never take joy in seeing her children suffer. However, it is unfortunate that sometimes people blindly follow practices they’ve seen others perform, without using their own judgment. It’s interesting The priests of this temple are known for donating land to the Mother Teresa organization in Kolkata, perhaps their only positive act. While I have deep respect for Hindu traditions and the faith of its followers, my experience with the priests was deeply disturbing. Their predatory behavior was shocking. I was ashamed to have brought Seranna to such a place. She commented that religion is often exploited, a statement I couldn’t refute given our experience.

Monkeys in Mathura

Posted on January 27, 2009 by nandan

Today, I’m celebrating The Rabbit Hole Day by writing about an experience I’ve never shared before. I didn’t know about this festival until Lane sent me an email explaining it, and I thought it would be fun to join in. I’ve chosen to write about the monkeys of Mathura City for this celebration. Mathura, the birthplace of Krishna, is one of the most sacred cities for Hindus and a major attraction for both Indian and international tourists. I’ve visited Mathura four times, with my first trip when I was ten and my last one four years ago.

Mathura is home to a large number of incredibly smart monkeys—possibly more than in Benares. On one occasion, I was in Mathura with my mother, navigating through narrow alleys on our way to a temple. I was captivated by the people, the old houses, the colors, the culture, and the religious atmosphere. It was fascinating. However, someone warned us to avoid carrying items in our hands and to take off our glasses, as monkeys are known to snatch belongings. Despite this, I was skeptical and kept my glasses on, thinking they wouldn’t be interested in them.

We encountered several people who repeated the same warning about the monkeys. Even though I was reluctant to part with my glasses, my mother, who had a purse but kept her glasses on, didn’t heed the advice either. After a few more minutes, my mother suddenly exclaimed, “Oh! My glasses!” By the time I turned around, a monkey had snatched her glasses and was sitting in a tree. We both found it amusing and were quite surprised. I approached the monkey, trying to negotiate the return of the glasses, but the monkey seemed more interested in trying them on.

Shortly after, a man approached us offering to retrieve the glasses for a fee. He asked for Rs. 100 but agreed to Rs. 25 after some bargaining. He went to a nearby shop and bought a packet of garbanzo beans for Rs. 2. It seemed the monkey was in on the plan. The man threw the garbanzo beans up to the monkey, who carefully placed the glasses on a branch before grabbing the beans. Unfortunately, when the monkey threw the glasses down, they fell and broke. The man apologized, saying he had tried his best but couldn’t prevent the mishap. We continued to the temple, with me now holding my glasses in hand.

We later tried to find a place to repair the glasses and were surprised to learn from a local that this kind of monkey behavior was common. He explained that many trained monkeys are used to steal items from people, and their owners then make deals with those who lose their possessions. We couldn’t repair the glasses, so my mother had to experience Mathura without them, which was quite challenging for her. In Hindu society, monkeys are revered because of their association with Lord Hanuman, who was known for his playful and mischievous nature. Perhaps this incident was a modern-day reflection of Hanuman’s antics. Despite the inconvenience, we enjoyed the experience and still laugh about it.

Happy Rabbit Hole Day!

Condom

Posted on December 6, 2008 by nandan

I believe condoms are one of the greatest inventions of science—one of its most significant gifts to us. Despite their importance, many people still do not use them, and what prompted me to write this post is the embarrassment some people feel when buying condoms. I find it perplexing why so many are shy about purchasing them. Why is it so difficult to say the word “condoms”? People often go into shops intending to buy condoms but end up leaving with something else, like candies, because they can’t bring themselves to ask for condoms.

One of my close friends got married last year, and I gave him a large packet of condoms as a gift. A few days after his wedding, he called me urgently, saying he needed to meet immediately. Although I was far from home, he insisted it was very important, so I hurried back to meet him. When I arrived, he was still waiting at the spot where he had called me. I was worried something serious had happened, but when we met, he took me aside and confessed that he needed me to buy condoms for him.

I was initially taken aback, thinking he was joking, but he was completely serious. He had waited an hour for me because he was too embarrassed to buy condoms himself. He explained that he felt uncomfortable asking for them because all the shopkeepers in his neighborhood knew him personally. I told him that the shopkeepers knew he was newly married and, therefore, expected him to buy condoms at some point. So, I didn’t understand why he was so embarrassed. Nevertheless, he remained uncomfortable with the idea of buying them.

I asked where he had been getting condoms for the past few days since my gift wasn’t going to last forever. He told me he had been traveling to a different neighborhood to make his purchases. I tried to encourage him to buy condoms himself and suggested he go to the store. However, he still hesitated. Eventually, I took him to a shop and told him just to stand there while I made the purchase for him. The amusing part was that he ran away before I even reached the store.

He frequently asks me for advice on how to dispose of used condoms. I’ve suggested various methods, but he refuses to follow any of them. I told him to wrap them up and throw them in the trash bin, but he worries that his family might discover that he uses condoms. I recommended disposing of them in a public trash bin, but he fears that his neighbors might find out. I even suggested flushing them down the toilet, but he is still concerned about his family.

When I saw him a few days ago, I asked if he had started buying condoms on his own. He admitted that he no longer uses them because he found it too difficult to both purchase and dispose of them. I still want him to use condoms, and I’m trying to find ways to make him more comfortable with both buying and disposing of them. However, I doubt he will ever get over his reluctance, even though he enjoys discussing the topic. For him, it remains a challenging task.

The second story involves another friend of mine who runs a convenience store. I visit his shop every day, but I was unaware that he sold condoms because they were always hidden. A few days ago, I noticed the packets and bought a few. Since I pay him monthly, he was supposed to record the purchase in his register. However, he didn’t do so because he was uncomfortable with noting that I had bought condoms. I couldn’t understand his reasoning.

I have discussed this with him more than five times, but he insists on not recording it. He is embarrassed that his father or other family members might discover that he sells condoms. Although it doesn’t make much sense to me, it’s his reality. Eventually, he tallied the amount for the condoms I bought and wrote it down as if I had purchased coconut oil instead. So, I have one friend who is too shy to buy condoms, and another who is too shy to sell them.

These issues are significant problems in a country like India, where the number of HIV cases is rapidly increasing. Solving such problems is crucial for improving public health awareness and combating the spread of HIV. Varanasi is the largest consumer of condoms in Uttar Pradesh, but in this city, condoms are not primarily used for birth control or to prevent STDs. Instead, they are used in the weaving process. Approximately 600,000 condoms are sold in Varanasi every day, and the majority of them are utilized for weaving. Artisans rub condoms on the loom’s shuttle to make the weaving process smoother and more efficient.

Over 90% of weavers in Varanasi are Muslims. If the same people who use condoms for weaving were to start using them for birth control, it could lead to significant changes in India. Just as condoms speed up the weaving process, they could accelerate our development if used more widely for family planning. By learning to utilize condoms for their intended purpose, we could see broader societal benefits.

Diwali 2008

Posted on October 29, 2008 by nandan

Yesterday was Diwali, and I had a fantastic time celebrating. I had invited a few Couchsurfers to join the festivities—two students from the US and two travelers from the UK. They arrived at my home around 6 o’clock, and we spent some time sharing our travel experiences in India. Later, my Uncle Udo joined us. My mother started the evening with a puja, and then we decorated the entire house with candles. Typically, I don’t buy or light fireworks, but this year I had plenty because some friends had brought them.

We went up to the roof to set off the crackers. It was the first time in fifteen years that I had fired crackers myself. I’m not a fan of fireworks because they pollute the atmosphere. The smoke from the crackers was noticeable, and I prefer decorating with candles, enjoying good food, and hosting dinner parties. Many people in Varanasi gamble during Diwali night, and although I gambled for the first time last year at Bunti’s family place, I couldn’t make it this year despite their invitation. Diwali is particularly significant for Aghoris, who perform a special puja at a cremation ground between midnight and 1 a.m.

I was keen to witness this but missed it again this year because the person who was supposed to accompany me didn’t call. I waited for him, but by the time it was past 1 o’clock, it was too late to go. After firing the crackers, we had a delicious dinner with plenty of sweets—it was a delightful evening. I had heard warnings about foreign girls facing threats in Varanasi after dark, but I hadn’t taken them seriously, thinking they were exaggerated. However, when Abbie and Emily, the US students, expressed concern about walking back to their guesthouse alone, I accompanied them. This experience made me realize that the guidebooks were right.

As we walked, people commented on the foreign girls. Some offered them crackers to light, others complimented their looks, and a few tried to harass them. It was overwhelming and eye-opening. I had never encountered such behavior around the Assi neighborhood before; perhaps it is more prevalent in the downtown area. Despite the unwanted attention, they eventually reached their guesthouse safely, and I returned home.

Purification in Varanasi

Posted on August 5, 2008 by nandan

I encountered a group of more than 15 French tourists on a train recently, and I was struck by the sight of so many of them with freshly shaved heads. Most of them were quite young, and it seemed unusual to see so many bald heads together. Curious, I asked one of them why they had chosen to shave their heads, and they explained that it was part of a ritual for purification. They mentioned that they were aware of the tradition where many Indian pilgrims shave their heads when they visit Varanasi, and they decided to partake in this practice themselves.

When I asked if they felt purified, they described a sense of amazing happiness, inner peace, and a release from stress. Despite their enthusiasm, they seemed to have a limited understanding of the reasons behind the practice, only noting that it was done for purification. I inquired where they had their hair shaved and learned that it was done at Dashashwamedh Ghat. I personally would avoid getting my hair shaved there, as I’ve found that the barbers at the ghats don’t always maintain the highest hygiene standards. While their razors are changed frequently, the actual razors aren’t always properly cleaned, which is concerning.

I used to think that Westerners were very particular about hygiene, but this experience made me question that assumption. It was quite a sight to see this group, and as we parted ways, I commented to the girl I was speaking with, “You are very brave, and you have a lot of brave people with you.” Whether or not they truly felt purified, I was intrigued by their experience. If I were to consider such a ritual, I would certainly bring my own razor to ensure proper hygiene, rather than relying on the ghats’ barbers.

Bhang and the train thief

Posted on July 27, 2008 by nandan

During the month of Savan, a significant pilgrimage period in Varanasi, many pilgrims, known as Kavariyas, visit the city. They wear orange attire and carry sticks with pots of Ganges water as part of their ritual. About 7-8 years ago, a notable incident occurred involving a 10-year-old Kavariya. Early in the morning, around 4 AM, this young boy, who had consumed bhang (a traditional cannabis preparation), took control of a train at Banaras railway station. The train was scheduled to depart at 6 AM, and its drivers had left the engine running while they went for tea on the platform.

Government authorised bhang shop in Varanasi

Government authorized bhang shop in Varanasi

The Kavariya, under the influence of bhang, climbed into the driver’s cab and started the train in reverse. Without any knowledge of train operations, he drove the train in the opposite direction—from Gorakhpur to Allahabad, instead of the intended route. The train, which was meant to travel at a much slower pace, was speeding at 120 km/h, ignoring track conditions and speed limits. The situation quickly escalated as other trains were halted and media attention grew. The boy, who appeared to be enjoying the attention, continued driving the train while smiling and greeting onlookers.

Bhang balls

Eventually, the railway authorities decided to derail the train to stop it. They placed sandbags on the tracks and used track brakes to bring the train to a halt. Fortunately, the boy was unharmed in the incident. The train fell but did not result in any injuries. The boy was arrested, and the train drivers, who had left the engine unattended, were dismissed from their positions. The official explanation from the government was that the boy was mentally unwell, but many believed that his actions were a direct result of being under the influence of bhang. The general consensus was that the drivers’ negligence contributed significantly to the incident.

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