Category Archives: Events

Condom usage demonstration & training to the sex workers

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Seranna and I accomplished something unprecedented in India. On the final day of the conference, we conducted a condom usage demonstration in front of a crowd of 6,000 to 7,000 people. We provided training to sex workers on how to protect themselves from sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and also shared strategies for improving their earnings. Through our interviews with sex workers, we discovered that their knowledge of STDs was limited, with HIV being the most commonly recognized. To address this gap, I asked Seranna to include information about various STDs in her presentation. Given that she was scheduled to speak on the last day of the conference, we saw it as a prime opportunity to reach a large audience and spread vital health information effectively.

Seranna and I on the stage, I was really confused:)

Seranna was deeply moved by the extreme poverty faced by Indian sex workers. She contrasted it with the situation in the West, where sex workers often earn significantly more. For example, she mentioned that in the West, she charges $300 per hour—an amount that represents two to three months’ salary for an Indian sex worker. Seranna was eager to share her insights on how sex workers could potentially increase their earnings from clients. Although reaching that level of income might take time for Indian sex workers, she believed that providing them with this knowledge could be beneficial. On the final day of the conference, which was attended by around 6,000 to 7,000 people, the majority of whom were sex workers, Seranna’s presentation was a valuable opportunity to impart this information and inspire change.

Me acting as a doggy customer

Since we only finalized the details of Seranna’s presentation on the morning of the event, we were under significant time constraints. With just a few hours to prepare, we decided to make the presentation more engaging by incorporating a skit. I had requested that Seranna bring some sex toys for the demonstration, and she brought three dildos. Seranna was enthusiastic about using them to illustrate key points in the presentation. However, I was concerned about using sex toys in front of such a large audience, especially given that they are illegal in India. This added an extra layer of anxiety about how the presentation might be received and whether it could cause any issues.

I had no idea what was going on

I asked Seranna to check with the conference organizer about using sex toys in our presentation. The organizer gave us the green light, but I was still apprehensive about displaying them in front of such a large audience. I approached the organizer myself for a second opinion, and he reassured me that it was fine. Seranna and I then discussed our approach for the presentation. We agreed that it should be engaging and not just a lecture. We decided to incorporate some comedy, as Seranna often does, to keep the audience entertained. The next challenge was that the audience primarily spoke Bengali, so we needed a translator to convert our presentation from English to Bengali.

I laugh every time I see this photo 🙂

We asked the organizer for a translator, and they provided us with a Bengali-English interpreter. For our presentation, I took on the role of a difficult customer who refused to pay upfront and insisted on not using condoms, while Seranna portrayed a savvy sex worker. To emphasize my role, I wore a mask shaped like male genitalia. The presentation began with Seranna requesting payment upfront, but I, in character, insisted on receiving services before paying. This led to a heated exchange, with Seranna repeatedly asserting that she required payment before providing her services, while I countered by arguing that I should pay only after receiving them. Ultimately, Seranna refused to provide the services, illustrating the importance of securing payment in advance.

Some toys we used in the presentation

Then, I agreed to pay upfront. Through this, we aimed to emphasize to the other sex workers the importance of securing payment before providing services, as some clients might not pay after receiving them. Afterward, Seranna introduced the dildo, which caused a hushed silence in the audience. I felt quite uncomfortable, but hoped it would be beneficial for everyone at the conference. Seranna demonstrated how to use the dildo, showing a technique to ensure that clients’ genitalia are disease-free before providing services. She emphasized that this practice could help protect sex workers from potential health risks.

After this, Seranna instructed me to use a condom, but I continued to resist, playing the role of a reluctant client who didn’t want to use one. I argued that since I was married and she looked safe, there was no need for protection. Seranna countered by pointing out that diseases aren’t visible on the face, emphasizing the importance of using condoms to prevent STDs, including HIV/AIDS. Eventually, I agreed to use the condom. Following this, Seranna demonstrated how to enhance the client experience by having me lay on my stomach on the bench for a massage and then performing a “boob slide.” The goal of this demonstration was to educate sex workers on how to engage more effectively with clients, offering additional services that could lead to higher satisfaction, better tips, and increased earnings.

Seranna demonstrated proper condom usage by placing it over the dildo. The dildo was large, requiring her to try twice. She added a humorous touch by commenting on the dildo’s size, which caused the previously silent audience to laugh and applaud. After successfully placing the condom, Seranna performed a demonstration of oral sex. We had several toys representing different sexually transmitted diseases. Seranna would simulate oral sex and then display the toys, explaining how they are spread and their potential consequences. I appreciated her clear and informative explanations about these diseases.

And then she acted like we were having sex and she would ask me if I was enjoying it. This was also one very important part of this training to tell sex workers to keep talking to their clients about how they feel while having sex. This way the men become more erected and cum early (I believe in the idea of working smart, not hard). So good for sex workers. By this time our time and bench’s life was finished. It broke and we fell down on the ground and this brought dead silence amongst the audience. But finally everyone started making noise, laughing and clapping. I loved it.

Finally, I gave Seranna a tip for her exceptional performance. I believe that introducing such innovative approaches to sex work could significantly improve the lives of Indian sex workers. Indian men would likely appreciate these services, but it’s unclear why such practices are not more common among local sex workers. I hope this presentation helps them earn more and make positive changes in their lives. Immediately after the presentation, we were surrounded by media, social workers, sex workers, and other attendees, all eager to speak with us and conduct interviews. It was a fantastic experience. We’re considering doing something similar in the US next June.

Sex worker’s conference

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Today marked the inauguration of the conference, and we arrived around 9 o’clock. The event took place in a spacious hall, filled with nearly a thousand attendees, including sex workers from various parts of India and abroad. It was the largest gathering of sex workers I’ve ever seen. There were also many Hijras present, and participants from Bangladesh, Cambodia, Australia, Hong Kong, the US, and the UK. However, the majority were from India and Bangladesh. The event was graced by the Mayor of Kolkata, some religious leaders, and numerous other VIPs as chief guests.

I had the opportunity to meet Dr. Jana, a member of the Government of India’s advisory board on HIV and AIDS programs. He is the founder of the Sonagachi Project, a remarkable initiative that has become a global model for success. The conference was organized into two daily sessions, each lasting three hours. The second session featured a panel discussion on whether sex workers should be considered entertainment workers. Although the conversation was predominantly in Bengali, I managed to grasp about half of it.

It was fascinating to hear the sex workers share their perspectives and experiences. Many spoke about the challenges they face, particularly those related to police harassment and societal discrimination. A recurring issue highlighted was the difficulty their children face in gaining school admissions due to their parents’ profession. Additionally, they struggle with opening bank accounts or obtaining insurance because they lack residential proof. This also means they might have trouble accessing online services, as identity verification is now required at cybercafés.

During the conference, a few media representatives approached Seranna for interviews about our documentary. She was interviewed first, followed by myself. They were interested in discussing the Sanjeevani Booti project. After my interview, they spoke with other foreigners, Hijras, and sex workers. I’m eager to interview a few sex workers myself, as this is a unique opportunity to gain deeper insights into their lives and experiences. I plan to conduct these interviews tomorrow.

Kite festival in Varanasi

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The kite festival on the 14th and 15th was one I really enjoyed. I used to fly kites for at least four or five months each year, but I stopped doing it about six or seven years ago. Now, I only fly kites during this festival, known as Khichadi. Khichadi is also the name of a traditional dish that everyone cooks for the occasion. The festival has religious significance, with people expected to make some kind of donation. For the past ten years, I have donated blood on this day, but unfortunately, I couldn’t this year.

I went to the hospital to donate blood, but they turned me away because I was suffering from a cold and cough. I’ll try again in a week. I did manage to fly a few kites, but not as many as I had hoped. I bought about fifty kites, but only managed to fly five myself. My friends flew the rest. The festival is more of a family event now; people gather on their rooftops, enjoy loud music, eat Khichadi, and fly kites all day. The number of kite flyers has decreased significantly over the years. The sky used to be filled with kites, but now it’s much emptier.

Many parents today discourage their children from flying kites, associating it with risky behavior. They prefer taking their kids to McDonald’s for junk food and Coca-Cola, but see kite flying as undesirable. I think kite flying is a far better activity than sitting in front of the TV watching political debates. Unfortunately, there are some risks associated with the festival. Each year, around 15-20 kids get injured from falling off rooftops, and occasionally, there are fatalities. Despite the dangers, kite flying remains a lot of fun.

Another danger associated with kite flying involves the use of Chinese strings, which contain a lot of iron. While it’s common to get minor cuts from kite strings, the iron in Chinese strings can lead to tetanus if not treated. Additionally, if Chinese strings come into contact with electrical wires, they can cause electric shocks. In Varanasi, where many electrical wires are exposed, this is a real concern. Indian kite strings, which only contain glass powder, are safer, but many people prefer the Chinese ones because they are stronger, despite the risks.

When I ask my foreign friends about kite flying in their countries, it often sounds less exciting. For example, my friend Adam in Chicago boasted about his ability to maneuver kites in different directions and spin them around using special equipment. I laughed when I heard this because we do similar tricks with just one string. I showed him our kites, and he was amazed that we could spin them and cut other kites down with a single string.

I asked him if kite-cutting was common in his country, and he said, “No.” To me, kite-cutting is a crucial part of the fun. We’re hosting an international kite festival in Gujarat this year, with participants from various countries. But, as usual, it’s likely that India, China, or Pakistan will take the top prize.

Protecting Hindu temples in Varanasi

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Tomorrow is Muharram, a significant festival for Muslims. On the eve of this festival, Muslims in the city hold a nighttime parade that starts from various mosques. During the parade, many male participants walk the streets, beating their chests as a symbol of mourning. This act commemorates the death of one of their revered figures. I always observe this parade with respect and appreciation for their traditions, culture, and religion. Each parade features a beautifully decorated horse, adorned with flowers, which people believe brings blessings. I also take one flower every year.

This year, however, I noticed something unusual. Yesterday, I saw municipality workers setting up bamboo barriers around Hindu temples in my neighborhood. When I inquired, they explained that the barriers were meant to protect the temples during the parade. I was perplexed, as I didn’t understand why Hindu temples would need extra security for this event. The workers mentioned that there is a concern that Muslims might harm the temples. While I had heard rumors about such tensions, I never thought they were true. The parade itself, with its intense atmosphere, might give an impression of potential violence.

There is always a heavy police presence, including the Rapid Action Force, to ensure security during the parade. I’ve heard claims that violence has occurred during these events in the past, though I can’t confirm their accuracy. Seeing the barriers around the temples made me question whether the concerns about this festival are justified. Varanasi is known for its Ganga-Jamuni culture, symbolizing the harmony between Hindus (Ganga) and Muslims (Jamuna). This tradition suggests a strong friendship between the two communities, but recent events make me doubt if this harmony still exists. The tension following the destruction of the Babri Mosque in Ayodhya seems to persist, though it may be hidden rather than resolved.

It’s disheartening to see Hindu temples being barricaded. While the safety of temples is important, it is troubling that such measures are necessary. It feels as though the government and people are overreacting to protect the temples in a country where over 80% of the population is Hindu. This situation reflects poorly on the state of our societal relations. The government’s actions seem to suggest that Muslims are given undue influence, possibly for electoral reasons, and that this has led to an environment where Muslims feel they can act with impunity, even to the point of potentially damaging temples.

Last year, on December 6th, the anniversary of the Babri Mosque demolition, Muslims closed their shops in Varanasi to protest and demanded the mosque’s reconstruction. Despite the historical context of the mosque being built on the site of a previous temple, many still demand its restoration. This ongoing dispute has been in the Indian Supreme Court for fifteen years, with no resolution in sight. It seems the government avoids making a decision to avoid upsetting the Muslim community. Violence between communities is a recurring issue. I recall an incident from seven or eight years ago when Muslims killed a Hindu man during a protest.

The man, who was newly married, was murdered on the street, leaving his widow to face a lifetime of hardship. Such events are deeply painful and highlight the persistent, unresolved tensions. I believe that the tensions between Hindus and Muslims are exacerbated by government policies that discriminate along religious lines. For example, Muslims receive subsidies for pilgrimages to Mecca, but Hindus receive no such assistance for their pilgrimages. Additionally, Muslims are recognized as a minority group in certain states and receive special benefits, while Hindus are not afforded similar recognition in places like Jammu and Kashmir.

This kind of discrimination only fuels societal divisions. It is more productive to emphasize commonalities rather than differences, yet our government often does the opposite. A figure like Zakir Naik, who organizes lectures that highlight differences between Islam and other religions, contributes to this divide. His speeches, primarily attended by Muslims who cheer his assertions of Islam’s superiority, are reminiscent of how violence can be incited through rhetoric. His influence, though non-violent in method, is damaging in its own way.

It seems the Indian government is more willing to impose restrictions on places of worship rather than addressing the root causes of communal discord. The fact that we need to barricade temples reflects a broader issue of fear and division. It is unfortunate that such measures are seen as necessary, and it suggests that the government’s handling of communal issues has led to a situation where discrimination persists. I now find myself seeing the divine presence in confinement not just once a year, but twice, and while it’s not a major issue for me, it still doesn’t feel right.

Bakrid 2008

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Every day, I witness something that nobody would ever want to see: blood and meat strewn everywhere in my city. During a Muslim festival called Bakrid, each Muslim family is expected to slaughter a male goat, and sometimes they buy one for every member of the family. After slaughtering the animals, they discard the waste on the roads. It usually takes the municipality four to five days to clean up the mess. There’s a show on Discovery Channel called *Dirty Jobs*, and while I’ve watched it occasionally, I can tell you that the tasks they feature are nothing compared to what our municipal workers endure.

For these four or five days, animal waste remains on the streets, and people generally avoid the Muslim neighborhoods during this period. I had witnessed this about ten years ago and was reluctant to return, but this year I decided to revisit it with Nadia, a researcher from Singapore. Initially, we planned to walk, but we soon opted for a rickshaw because the sight was overwhelming. Goat skins, meat, and other waste covered the streets, and I was astonished to see people standing around and conversing as if it were a normal part of their routine.

We rode through all the major Muslim neighborhoods in Varanasi, and everywhere we went, we saw the same scene: meat, goat skins, and blood. I even saw someone riding a camel through one of the neighborhoods. When I asked some locals, they informed me that the camel was going to be slaughtered as well. Wealthy individuals sometimes slaughter camels to display their affluence, and the number of camels slaughtered is reported in the news each year. I read that ten camels were slaughtered in Varanasi alone this year.

I’m unsure how to address this issue or whom to hold accountable, but it’s clear that maintaining sanitation is a shared responsibility. Disposing of animal waste on the streets is unsanitary, spreads disease, and is visually repulsive. There’s nothing worse than being surrounded by discarded meat. Nadia, who is also Muslim, was shocked by what she saw. In Singapore, such practices are completely hidden from view. People there contribute money to mosques for slaughtering, which is done discreetly.

Nadia remarked that this method in Singapore—paying for the slaughter to be done on one’s behalf—seems far superior to what we experience here. After witnessing the heaps of meat, she felt ill, and I couldn’t bring myself to eat that day. Nonetheless, it was an eye-opening experience for both of us. Despite the common belief that selling meat is prohibited in Varanasi, the reality is that meat is ubiquitous: in shops, kitchens, and sometimes even on the streets.

Effect of inflation on celebration of Diwali

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Inflation is severely impacting India these days. Everything is at least twice as expensive as it used to be. Diwali was yesterday, but it didn’t feel like the Diwali of five or six years ago. Typically, people buy lots of crackers, new clothes, and bring something new into their homes, but this year, it was quite different. It seemed like most people just stayed at home, cooked food, and decorated their homes. Very few people set off fireworks. While it’s beneficial for the environment to have fewer crackers, something still felt missing.

Many people avoided buying crackers this year because of the high prices. Normally, the chemicals used to make crackers are imported from China, where they are relatively cheap. However, this year, China used most of these chemicals for the Olympics, leading to delays in supply to India. As a result, Indian factories had to source the chemicals locally, driving up the cost significantly. Consequently, crackers became at least twice as expensive.

The primary reason behind the reduced use of crackers is the overall rise in living costs in India. People are struggling financially and are prioritizing their essential needs over celebrations. For instance, I bought tomatoes for Rs. 50 per kilo, which is unprecedentedly high. Uncle Udo mentioned that tomatoes cost Rs. 70-80 per kilo in Germany, so while the prices are somewhat comparable, the income disparity between the two countries is enormous.

I understand that agricultural products tend to be more expensive in developed countries, but the situation here is still troubling. I spoke to many people about their Diwali celebrations, and most of them said it was lackluster due to inflation. If this trend continues, many middle-class families could fall into poverty again.

Diwali 2008

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Yesterday was Diwali, and I had a fantastic time celebrating. I had invited a few Couchsurfers to join the festivities—two students from the US and two travelers from the UK. They arrived at my home around 6 o’clock, and we spent some time sharing our travel experiences in India. Later, my Uncle Udo joined us. My mother started the evening with a puja, and then we decorated the entire house with candles. Typically, I don’t buy or light fireworks, but this year I had plenty because some friends had brought them.

We went up to the roof to set off the crackers. It was the first time in fifteen years that I had fired crackers myself. I’m not a fan of fireworks because they pollute the atmosphere. The smoke from the crackers was noticeable, and I prefer decorating with candles, enjoying good food, and hosting dinner parties. Many people in Varanasi gamble during Diwali night, and although I gambled for the first time last year at Bunti’s family place, I couldn’t make it this year despite their invitation. Diwali is particularly significant for Aghoris, who perform a special puja at a cremation ground between midnight and 1 a.m.

I was keen to witness this but missed it again this year because the person who was supposed to accompany me didn’t call. I waited for him, but by the time it was past 1 o’clock, it was too late to go. After firing the crackers, we had a delicious dinner with plenty of sweets—it was a delightful evening. I had heard warnings about foreign girls facing threats in Varanasi after dark, but I hadn’t taken them seriously, thinking they were exaggerated. However, when Abbie and Emily, the US students, expressed concern about walking back to their guesthouse alone, I accompanied them. This experience made me realize that the guidebooks were right.

As we walked, people commented on the foreign girls. Some offered them crackers to light, others complimented their looks, and a few tried to harass them. It was overwhelming and eye-opening. I had never encountered such behavior around the Assi neighborhood before; perhaps it is more prevalent in the downtown area. Despite the unwanted attention, they eventually reached their guesthouse safely, and I returned home.

Terrorism in India

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Yesterday was the last day of Durga Puja, and I went out with my friends to visit the Durga pandals, as we have been doing for the past decade. We typically leave home around 9 PM and spend the whole night traveling to different pandals, returning by morning. The traffic is usually heavy due to the large number of people attending, and we normally park our bikes and walk from one pandal to another.

This year, however, I was taken aback by the turnout. Only about ten percent of the usual crowd attended, a stark contrast to the vibrant celebrations of previous years. The streets, which are normally congested, were relatively empty, making it easy to ride our bikes. My friends and I were prepared for the usual foot traffic, but there was no need to walk extensively. I believe the reduced attendance was due to the recent bomb blasts in various cities and the ongoing reports about terrorism in Varanasi.

It felt disheartening to see that fear seemed to have overshadowed the festive spirit. I recall the aftermath of the bomb blast at Sankat Mochan temple, where over a hundred people died. Despite the tragedy, the community quickly returned to normal, expressing their resolve to combat terrorism with support from the authorities. However, this year’s low turnout at Durga Puja suggests that the same resolve might be fading.

This situation reminds me of a recent incident when Jaipur police arrested a mullah in Varanasi, suspecting him of involvement in the Jaipur bomb blasts. The arrest sparked significant protests from the Muslim community, leading to his release due to political pressure and concerns over vote banks. Even though he remains a suspect, he is now free and continues his activities.

Similarly, Afzal Guru, who was convicted for the terrorist attack on the Indian Parliament, was sentenced to death by the Supreme Court. However, the Central Government, led by Congress, has stalled the execution by petitioning the President, who is a Congress candidate. Reports suggest that many terrorists, including those in jail, live under relatively favorable conditions due to political and police corruption.

Sometimes I wonder if individuals like Afzal Guru and the mullah who was released under political pressure are involved in orchestrating bomb blasts. Political parties often prioritize maintaining support from influential vote banks, such as the Muslim community, over addressing terrorism effectively. The current state of affairs makes it seem like meaningful change is unlikely to come anytime soon.

Kamasutra

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While waiting for my train at Delhi railway station, I met an intriguing 85-year-old man named Lance Dane. I had arrived at the station about two hours before my train’s departure, and Lance took a seat next to me. We struck up a conversation, and I was fascinated to learn that he was a specialist in coins and had authored over 40 books on the Kamasutra. His father was Indian, his mother British, and he was born in South India. He grew up in India and speaks fluent Kannada and Hindi. It was remarkable to meet someone with such expertise in Kamasutra.

Curious, I asked him many questions about the Kamasutra. He explained that the Kamasutra temples are not just about depicting various sexual positions but encompass a comprehensive view of human life. This matched what my brother had previously told me, and it reinforced my understanding. Lance shared detailed information about different Kamasutra temples across India. He also discussed the Nepali temple in Varanasi, which features some Kamasutra sculptures. According to him, this temple is relatively new and has been influenced by the Kamasutra temples in South India and Khajuraho.

Lance was traveling to Varanasi to attend a conference on the Art and Archaeology of Kashi (Varanasi), where he was invited as a chief guest. I expressed my interest in the conference, and he kindly extended an invitation to me. He took my mobile number and promised to call me the next morning. True to his word, he called after reaching Varanasi to confirm the invitation. It was a wonderful opportunity to learn so much about my own city from someone with such deep knowledge.

Group Wedding in Varanasi

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Lok Samiti organized a group wedding for 30 impoverished couples in Varanasi with the aim of providing security for the brides and promoting dowry-free marriages. All the couples were so poor that they could not afford a wedding on their own. Typically, the groom’s side demands dowry, but in this event, no dowry was allowed. Instead, all gifts for the brides and grooms were provided by Lok Samiti and other donors. I was invited by Nandlal Master and asked to contribute. Seeing the event as an excellent opportunity for my NGO, Sanjeevni Booti, I decided to participate.

With around 10,000 people expected to attend, I discussed with Lane about contributing gifts and conducting a survey on AIDS awareness among the villagers. We decided to give clocks as gifts because they are long-lasting and frequently seen. Lane had initial concerns about the ethics of giving clocks but eventually agreed with the idea. Lane covered all the expenses, including the clocks, pamphlets, survey sheets, and travel costs. I bought 30 clocks and had Sanjeevni Booti’s name printed on each one. We packed them with a pamphlet about AIDS in each packet. I asked Raju and Sonu, fellow members of Sanjeevni Booti, to assist with the event. Raju, who was busy with his job, agreed to help for a day’s pay, while Bablu could not be persuaded.

On the day of the wedding, Raju, Sonu, and I arrived at the venue. Lok Samiti members were busy decorating the stage, arranging chairs, and preparing flowers. They had also organized food for over 10,000 people. The preparations had been ongoing for a month, with chefs preparing sweets for a week. Numerous political leaders, social workers, and donors were present. The wife of Mehndiganj’s block representative contributed 30 Benaresi sarees for the brides. Lok Samiti invited the grooms and brides onto the stage. Although 30 couples were scheduled to marry, two were unable to attend, so 28 couples participated.

They exchanged garlands, completing the marriage formalities. Nandlal Master then presented a document for the couples to sign—many were uneducated and simply thumb-printed the paper. Nandlal read the document aloud, stating that the couples pledged never to fight, to live together, and that no dowry would be demanded. Any breach would result in legal action by Lok Samiti. Afterward, the couples proceeded to a nearby Shiva temple for the final rites. Traditionally, Hindu weddings involve walking around a sacred fire, but in this case, the couples circled the Shiva temple instead, with Shiva standing as witness to the marriage.

The wedding concluded with the distribution of gifts. I handed out the clocks with Raju, Sonu, and our driver. Other gifts included sarees, watches, pots, and additional items. Lok Samiti provided each bride with a sewing machine and each groom with a bicycle, believing these items would help the couples become financially independent in the future. Amanda, my American friend, also contributed a sewing machine and two boxes of refined oil. It was a memorable experience to see 30 couples marry simultaneously on the same stage.

I found it particularly interesting that three of the brides appeared to be sleeping on stage, which seemed unusual for a wedding. Nandlal Master mentioned that Lok Samiti plans to organize similar group weddings in the future, with 51 couples expected next year. I appreciated the way Lok Samiti handled the event, ensuring everything was formalized on paper, which should help prevent dowry demands and ensure the brides’ security.