Tag Archives: India

Alwar, Rajasthan

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My Trip to Alwar with Tarun Bharat Sangh

In July, I had the opportunity to visit Alwar, a district in Rajasthan. Honestly, I was a little nervous before going — Rajasthan in summer has a reputation for unbearable heat, and I expected to see desert, dry winds, and parched land. To my surprise, Alwar was nothing like I had imagined. It was green, hilly, full of rivers, wildlife (especially peacocks), and the air was humid and wet. I traveled with 14 colleagues, and together we enjoyed nature’s beauty every single day we were there.

My whole group with Mr. Singh after plantation

The Journey to Bheekampura

We started our journey by taking an overnight train from Varanasi to Agra, then a bus to Dausa. From there, we hired a jeep to reach the Tarun Bharat Sangh office in Bheekampura. The drive took about an hour and gave us our first glimpse of the stunning Rajasthani landscape — hills covered in greenery, small villages, and a culture that felt so different from my part of India. The food, clothing, and lifestyle were new to me. Even though it was hot and humid, it was not at all unbearable. On our very first day, we already knew this trip was going to be unforgettable.

My whole group

Immersing in Rajasthani Villages

We stayed in Bheekampura for three days, and each day Tarun Bharat Sangh arranged tours with guides and taxis. They took us to remote villages, some so isolated that they didn’t even have proper roads. Communities had created makeshift arrangements for themselves, showcasing resilience and self-reliance. One cultural detail stood out to me — the prevalence of hookah smoking. Many people in Alwar villages smoked hookah, and they claimed it helped treat small health issues like coughs and colds.

Having chai in a local market

Another striking observation was how women covered their faces and heads far more strictly than in other regions I had visited. Men wore large, colorful turbans that not only looked beautiful but also served a practical purpose — protection from the intense summer heat. While some people explained face-covering as protection against the weather, I couldn’t ignore the reality that Rajasthan has long been known for its male-dominated traditions.

Covered faces

Sariska Tiger Reserve

One highlight of our trip was visiting the Sariska Tiger Reserve, about 40 km from where we stayed. As someone deeply concerned about the declining tiger population in India, I was thrilled at the chance to see one in the wild. Although we spent more than eight hours in the reserve, we didn’t see any tigers. Instead, we encountered deer, jackals, chital, sambhar, nilgai, and other animals. We also visited the Pandupol Temple, believed to be the site where Hanuman met Bheem during the Mahabharata era. The Hanuman statue there had a unique style that I had never seen before, distinct to Rajasthan.

Can you believe it is Rajashtan?

An Unexpected Encounter

On our way back, we stopped at another temple tucked away at the foot of a hill, surrounded by thick jungle. The setting was surreal — quiet, isolated, and filled only with the sounds of wind, birds, monkeys, and peacocks. To our astonishment, a solitary Baba lived there. We first saw him standing alone on the rooftop of the temple. He welcomed us warmly, offered chai, and shared stories of his life. He told us he had left home at the age of seven and had spent his life wandering, living in ashrams, and dedicating himself to God. Interestingly, he had even lived in Varanasi during the 1980s.

Lord Hanuman

The Baba gave us a tour of the temple, built on the samadhi of a famous saint, and told us about his encounters with tigers during the dry season. According to him, animals were far more understanding than humans — they always knew who was a friend and who was not. His words stayed with me long after we left.

Rajasthani woman

Reflections on the Trip

After days of exploring villages, temples, and wildlife, we returned to the Tarun Bharat Sangh office, tired but grateful. This was not the kind of trip any travel agent could organize. It gave us access to hidden places, genuine communities, and unforgettable experiences. On our way back, we boarded a train from Bandikui to Varanasi, ending our journey. But Alwar left a lasting impression on me — the hospitality of Tarun Bharat Sangh, the resilience of the villages, the warmth of the people, the breathtaking wildlife, and the colorful traditions of Rajasthan.

This trip was truly one of a kind, and I will always cherish it.

Kids

caste discrimination in India

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Casteism: A Stark Reality in Modern India

Casteism is a huge issue in India, and people hold some truly archaic ideas about it. It’s sad that we’ve forgotten the original purpose of the caste system and now discriminate against people based on their birth. In ancient times, a person’s caste was determined by their profession, not by the caste of their parents. However, today, a person’s caste is decided by the one they were born into. I had always thought that these practices were no longer strong in Indian cities among educated people, but something happened to me yesterday that made me think twice. It made me realize that people who discriminate against others based on caste are everywhere in India.

My uncle, a professor from the Andaman and Nicobar Islands, was visiting me yesterday. He had first gone to his village and hired a taxi to come to Varanasi. The taxi driver was also from his village and knew my uncle well. I was supposed to arrange dinner and accommodation for them at my home. After showing my uncle to his room, I was about to give the driver a separate room when my uncle said the driver wouldn’t sleep on a bed; he would sleep on the floor. When I asked him why, he said it was because the driver belonged to a lower caste called Pasi.

I was shocked to hear these words from a professor. I told him I had no problem with the driver sleeping on a bed in my home, but my uncle wouldn’t allow it. All this was said in front of the driver. I was so ashamed to hear this, and when I looked at the driver, he was staring at the floor with his head down. I couldn’t bear to see this happen and told my uncle to let him sleep in a room on a bed, but my uncle was adamant. He told me to provide the driver with a mat on the roof so he could sleep there instead.

Summers are terribly hot and humid in Varanasi, and I knew it was not at all comfortable to sleep on the roof. I felt so bad for the driver but I felt powerless. Finally, I had to provide a mat for him on the rooftop. Then it was time for dinner. I took food for the driver and was about to go to the roof when my uncle appeared again and told me to change the dishes. He meant that I shouldn’t give him food in the dishes we use every day. This was simply too much, but again, I felt I couldn’t do anything.

I told my uncle that it was no problem for me if a person from a scheduled caste ate from my dishes, but he said that if I did that, he would not eat at home because it would make my home “impure.” I think hearing these words from a well-educated person was the biggest surprise for me in the last few years. He told me to take a plastic plate and serve the food in it. I took a plastic plate, but I didn’t have a plastic bowl, so I used one of our steel bowls. He didn’t even want this. Finally, I had to arrange a clay pot to serve the food. I was so angry that I didn’t want to see or listen to my uncle, so I just did what he asked.

I felt terrible after seeing what happened to the driver. I wondered how our society could ever change if evils like my uncle still exist. It’s unbelievable that a well-educated person could do such a thing. Politicians are also taking full advantage of this system by introducing new reservation policies every day without any talk of ending them. India talks about becoming a world power, an IT hub, and a super-strong country, but if we don’t even respect our own people, our own society, how can we even talk about development? Is money the only measure of happiness? Do happiness and equal rights mean nothing? Is India really changing? Are we truly developing and becoming a superpower or a happy country? After this incident, I can easily say, “NO.”

the food in a plastic plate with clay bowl and plastic glass

Snakes on Indian train

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My 24-Hour Train Ride to a Wedding

A few days ago, I traveled from Varanasi to Ratlam by train to attend a wedding, which meant a journey of over 24 hours. I take the train all the time, but I usually avoid trips longer than 13 or 14 hours. This time, however, I had no other option. The person getting married booked my ticket, and since we were traveling in a group, it was going to be a fun journey anyway. Indian trains have several classes, such as General Class (no reserved seat), Non-AC Sleeper, 3AC, 2AC, and 1AC. I usually prefer 3AC as it’s the most comfortable class at the cheapest price, but my ticket this time was for the Non-AC Sleeper class.

The journey from Varanasi to Ratlam was uneventful, and to be honest, I never got bored because I was with my friends. The return journey, though, was quite an experience. When our train arrived at the Ratlam station, we found our coach door was locked from the inside, and there were people sleeping on our seats! We asked them to open the door, but they all pretended not to hear us. We finally had to enter our coach through another one. When we asked the people to leave our seats, they simply refused to listen. All of them had wait-listed tickets, which means their seats weren’t confirmed.

We started by requesting them politely, then began shouting, and it finally escalated into a full-on fight. After 45 minutes of pleading, shouting, fighting, and what felt like a war, we finally got our seats! I had traveled in the Non-AC Sleeper class several times before, but this journey was unique because I saw something I had never seen in a train. In the Non-AC Sleeper class, anyone is allowed to enter, so all kinds of services are offered by unauthorized people. You’ll see people selling chai (tea), others selling books, and some begging… but this time, I saw snakes in the train.

I saw a group of snake charmers showing snakes to people and asking for money. People were offering them money because snakes are associated with Lord Shiva and are considered holy in Hinduism. I was truly surprised but also amused. It seemed so strange to me—snakes in the train and no one to stop them? Anyway, I was able to film it. Enjoy!

Hotel Haifa in Varanasi

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Hotel Haifa Incident

Hotel Haifa is located near Assi Ghat in Varanasi. They are recommended on several online travel forums and have a good reputation in the market, which is why they are usually full. I also used to recommend this hotel, but I was unaware of their strange business policy – they do not allow tourist guides inside. This came to light when an American university student group, staying at Hotel Haifa, invited me to meet them. We were sitting in the hotel’s restaurant, talking, when the owner, Mr. Ravi Mishra, suddenly appeared to introduce himself to the group.

After a brief conversation with them, he turned to me and asked how I had come there. I explained that the group had invited me because they wanted to talk with me. Hearing this, he became upset and told me clearly: “Listen, I want to make this clear to you – I do not allow guides and outsiders to enter my hotel.” I was shocked. He repeated that tourist guides are not allowed to meet clients inside his hotel and asked me not to come again. After speaking with me, he told the same thing to the group in front of me. They all looked at me with surprised faces and later apologized for what had happened.

This was the first time in my life that someone had insulted me so directly. I felt both shocked and guilty, and we ended the meeting immediately. Later, I spoke to a few people who had previously stayed at Hotel Haifa, and one of them told me: “The restaurant staff was eager to please, but I felt slightly intimidated by the management’s attitude. They promote their own guides, money-changing, and travel agent services, which explains their behavior with you. As an American traveling alone, I liked having one trusted person I could count on, but they seem to want to be the guest’s only resource, or push their own network of touts.”

Hearing this made things clearer. It seems the hotel does not want locals or independent guides to interact with their guests, possibly to keep control over all services and ensure the clients depend only on them. But to me, this feels unfair and deeply problematic. I could not help but compare it to the signs from British colonial times that read “Dogs and Indians not allowed.” That was the early 1900s, yet here in the 21st century, in an independent India with its own government, I experienced something that felt very similar.

Do you really think such a hotel deserves support? Personally, I will no longer recommend Hotel Haifa, and I have decided not to work with anyone who chooses to stay there

Pending cases at Indian Judicial courts

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The Never-Ending Wait in Indian Courts

Many Indians often talk about our lazy and corrupt court system — and I count myself among them. Personally, I hate getting involved in any kind of court activity. Sadly, it is not just a feeling; the numbers prove it. India has the highest number of pending legal cases in the world — more than 30 million cases are stuck in our courts. To make things worse, the average time to resolve a case is about 15 years, and sometimes even longer.

Think about it: a generation can pass before a verdict comes. Families break apart, people die waiting for justice, and in the end, the judgment often doesn’t serve much purpose because the damage is already done. The saying “Justice delayed is justice denied” could not be truer than in India. Many poor people simply give up because they cannot afford the endless lawyer fees and court dates. And for those who keep fighting, the system itself drains them — emotionally, financially, and mentally.

Recently, my friend Ravi, who completed his law degree and is now a registered lawyer, sent me a poem about Indian courts. The poem describes exactly what happens in our system — the endless adjournments, the clerks, the long queues, the confusion — and ultimately warns that one should do anything, absolutely anything, but never go to court.

I believe this is true. The poem was written by Mr. Kailash Gautam from Allahabad, and Ravi, as a lawyer himself, resonates deeply with its message. Even those who are supposed to work within the system admit that it is broken. Until we fix the root problems — lack of judges, corruption, outdated processes — justice will remain a dream for millions of Indians.

भले डांट घर में तू बीबी की खाना, भले जैसे -तैसे गिरस्ती चलाना
भले जा के जंगल में धूनी रमाना,मगर मेरे बेटे कचहरी न जाना
कचहरी न जाना- कचहरी न जाना.
कचहरी हमारी तुम्हारी नहीं है,कहीं से कोई रिश्तेदारी नहीं है
अहलमद से भी कोरी यारी नहीं है, तिवारी था पहले तिवारी नहीं है
कचहरी की महिमा निराली है बेटे, कचहरी वकीलों की थाली है बेटे
पुलिस के लिए छोटी साली है बेटे, यहाँ पैरवी अब दलाली है बेटे
कचहरी ही गुंडों की खेती है बेटे, यही जिन्दगी उनको देती है बेटे
खुले आम कातिल यहाँ घूमते हैं, सिपाही दरोगा चरण चुमतें है
कचहरी में सच की बड़ी दुर्दशा है, भला आदमी किस तरह से फंसा है
यहाँ झूठ की ही कमाई है बेटे, यहाँ झूठ का रेट हाई है बेटे
कचहरी का मारा कचहरी में भागे, कचहरी में सोये कचहरी में जागे
मर जी रहा है गवाही में ऐसे, है तांबे का हंडा सुराही में जैसे
लगाते-बुझाते सिखाते मिलेंगे, हथेली पे सरसों उगाते मिलेंगे
कचहरी तो बेवा का तन देखती है, कहाँ से खुलेगा बटन देखती है
कचहरी शरीफों की खातिर नहीं है, उसी की कसम लो जो हाज़िर नहीं है
है बासी मुहं घर से बुलाती कचहरी, बुलाकर के दिन भर रुलाती कचहरी
मुकदमें की फाइल दबाती कचहरी, हमेशा नया गुल खिलाती कचहरी
कचहरी का पानी जहर से भरा है, कचहरी के नल पर मुवक्किल मरा है
मुकदमा बहुत पैसा खाता है बेटे, मेरे जैसा कैसे निभाता है बेटे
दलालों नें घेरा सुझाया -बुझाया, वकीलों नें हाकिम से सटकर दिखाया
धनुष हो गया हूँ मैं टूटा नहीं हूँ, मैं मुट्ठी हूँ केवल अंगूंठा नहीं हूँ
नहीं कर सका मैं मुकदमें का सौदा, जहाँ था करौदा वहीं है करौदा
कचहरी का पानी कचहरी का दाना, तुम्हे लग न जाये तू बचना बचाना
भले और कोई मुसीबत बुलाना, कचहरी की नौबत कभी घर न लाना
कभी भूल कर भी न आँखें उठाना, न आँखें उठाना न गर्दन फसाना
जहाँ पांडवों को नरक है कचहरी, वहीं कौरवों को सरग है कचहरी ||

 

Women in Nepal and India

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I noticed that there were more working women in Nepal than in India. Most of the shops were run by women, and Nepali women seemed to be in better condition than Indian women. Nepal appeared to be more progressive in terms of women’s rights compared to India. Women were traveling alone, going to offices, running shops, and even driving auto rickshaws. They seemed more friendly with men, which looked really cool to me. I was happy to see it. I saw many alcohol shops run by women. I had never seen anything like that anywhere in India. Once, I came across an alcohol shop with a woman owner, and I decided to talk to her. I began by asking about the alcohol, and once we became friendly, I asked her about her life.

I asked her if she felt safe sitting alone at an alcohol shop and dealing with male customers who might be drunk. She told me that managing the business was just like any other male member of her family managing a business; there was no difference, so it wasn’t a problem for her. I inquired whether people in society minded women working at alcohol shops, and she said that Nepali society is very progressive regarding equal rights for women. When I asked if she had ever been to India, she replied that she had never visited but had seen India on TV. In reality, she didn’t seem excited about visiting India.

I told her that it was nearly impossible to find women selling alcohol in India and that there was a lower percentage of working women there. She said she was very well aware of the situation for women in India. She mentioned that many Indian families live in Nepal and do not allow their women to work. When I asked her what Nepali people thought of this situation, she candidly said that they think Indians are backward. I was surprised to hear this, but it is true that we are much more backward than Nepal in terms of women’s rights and equality.

The nature in Nepal was stunning. One could easily see that it is still untouched. There were beautiful thick jungles, clear rivers, fewer industries, fewer people, less traffic, and many mountains—it was just amazing. I really enjoyed the natural beauty in Nepal. I also noticed that I saw only five large factories during my entire bus ride from Sonauli to Kathmandu. In fact, two of them were Indian factories, which is nice because it means less pollution. However, this also means fewer jobs and more poverty.

Poverty in Nepal was striking. There were so many family houses along the Sonauli-Kathmandu highway, and I saw people just sitting or talking, seemingly without any work. I had never seen so many young people just hanging around and passing time. Many kids were selling water bottles and snacks on the road. Nepal has been suffering from political instability for years, which seems to be the main reason for the poverty. I don’t know if there are other reasons, but Nepalis do not seem happy with their political system.

Finally, we arrived in Kathmandu by 8 PM, and it was still raining. I had read about a neighborhood called Thamel, which is full of hotels. I wanted to stay there. I asked Babu to ask some locals for directions, but he said Nepali people are often not helpful and might not give the right directions. He suggested that I go to any shop run by an Indian and ask for directions to Thamel. We went to a paan shop, bought a few things, and fortunately, the owner was kind enough to give us the correct directions. It took us about 10 minutes of walking, and after asking a few more people, we finally arrived.

We reached Thamel, which was bustling with hotels; in fact, it is the most popular neighborhood in Nepal for backpackers. We checked several hotels, but their prices seemed too steep. Babu mentioned that we could easily find a hotel room for 500 NR, but none of them wanted to charge us less than 1000 NR. Eventually, we found a place called Annapurna Hotel, where they initially wanted to charge us 800 NR per night. I told them that I was a government-approved tour guide in India and usually receive discounts. They agreed to give me a room for 500 NR.

The hotel seemed nice at first, but later we realized that the pillow covers and bed sheets were used, the cable connection wasn’t working properly, and the telephone was dead. We complained and were promised that everything would be fixed by the next morning, but that morning never came before we left. In any case, I wasn’t there to enjoy luxury, watch TV, or make phone calls, so I didn’t mind too much. We went out for dinner, but most of the shops were closed by 8:30 PM. We finally found an open restaurant and had our dinner there.

I had read several articles about nightlife in Nepal, including dance bars and massage centers. Many articles claimed that the nightlife was safe, while others described it as crazy and dangerous. Several articles mentioned how people spent a few hours at a nightclub, had a few beers and dinner, and ended up paying Rs. 40,000-50,000 for misbehavior. Some articles talked about how 14-15-year-olds are involved in the sex industry and work as pimps. I was curious about what was going on and decided we should visit at least one nightclub while in Kathmandu.

While wandering in Thamel, I noticed many massage parlors. As we passed one shop with a sign for massage services, I pointed it out to Babu. Suddenly, a boy who looked about 15 approached me and asked what I was looking at. I told him I was just observing the advertisements, but he insisted I was looking for something else, something special. I assured him I was just browsing. He asked again if I needed a special service, and I replied that I did not.

We walked away, but the boy kept following us, asking if we needed a girl. He offered young, beautiful girls at very low prices. He wasn’t alone; there were many pimps around watching tourists. Nevertheless, I managed to return to my hotel safely. The next day, we worked for a while, explored, and did some shopping. It was a nice experience, although I really missed vegetarian Indian food since it seemed to be meat everywhere. On the plus side, drinks were readily available, so I enjoyed trying different kinds of alcohol.

I wanted to use an ATM in Kathmandu but was concerned about international transaction fees. However, Babu informed me that a few Indian banks, like the State Bank of India and Punjab National Bank, have ATMs in Kathmandu. I found a State Bank of India ATM near Darbar Square, used it, and didn’t pay any transaction fees. I would recommend anyone with an Indian bank card to look for Indian bank ATMs in Kathmandu. Phone calls to India were also very cheap; I paid only Rs. 1 per minute.

Since we were interested in visiting a nightclub in Kathmandu, we gathered information online. Fortunately, I met a guy at the NGO where I was supposed to work who was a male prostitute. Who could provide better information about nightlife than him? I asked him about it, and he advised against visiting nightclubs in Kathmandu, stating they are not safe for tourists. He echoed what I had read online, so we decided not to visit any nightclubs.

We visited a few temples, markets, and participated in Kathmandu Gay Pride. Eventually, my time in Kathmandu came to an end, and we needed to head home. Babu informed me that there were overnight buses from Kathmandu to Sonauli until 10 PM. We arrived at the bus station around 8 PM, but all the buses had already left. They told us the last bus was at 7 PM. So we had dinner, stayed at a hotel near the bus station, and took an early morning bus to Sonauli, followed by another bus from Sonauli to Varanasi. It was a successful journey full of learning, and I plan to return to Kathmandu sometime for a longer stay.

Ghosts haunting the neighbors

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There is a Yadav family living next door. The family consists of six members: three daughters, their parents, and their grandmother. None of them work. The grandmother, a retired nurse, receives a pension, and they also rent out a few rooms in their house, which provides their main source of income. I doubt their monthly earnings exceed Rs. 13,000, which should be sufficient for a family of six in Benares if they lead a very simple life. However, this family is constantly in trouble because they spend most of their money on exorcists.

They believe their entire family is afflicted by ghosts. The most troubling aspect is that even the grandmother, who used to work as a nurse at BHU, believes their home and family are haunted. The mother of the children suffers from severe gastric problems and burps incessantly, so loudly that I can hear it from my own home. She also experiences constant stomach pain and sometimes feels as if her whole body is burning from within. Despite these symptoms, the family insists that these issues are caused by ghosts.

They claim that the sound of her burping is the noise of the ghosts and that the stomach pain and internal burning are also ghost-related. They believe that the ghosts attack her every evening and night. When the grandmother discussed this with my father, he advised her to take her daughter to a doctor. However, the grandmother insisted that she had already consulted several doctors without any relief, and maintained that only exorcists could help. She asked my father if he knew any good exorcists, but he suggested a few doctors instead, which she refused to consider.

She described how her daughter screams uncontrollably when the ghosts attack, and claimed that someone had sent the ghost to kill her daughter and the entire family, asserting that the ghost would not leave until it had succeeded in its mission. I have also heard strange noises coming from their house and seen peculiar people performing rituals there. A few months ago, they wrapped a thread around their house and placed a large bamboo on the roof. Every evening, they burn something that fills the house with smoke, causing everyone to cough violently.

The husband of the woman with gastric problems performs this ritual, and during this time, the rest of the family stays inside their rooms, fearing that the smoke will drive away the ghosts and protect them from being seen and attacked. Sometimes, I hear them shouting at night, saying things like, “Look, he’s coming! Kick him out! Why are you here?” and other family members respond with, “Go to hell! What are you doing here? Who sent you? Why do you want to kill us?” It’s quite chaotic. They are always looking for new exorcists. I overheard them talking to someone who suggested they visit a tomb near Lucknow.

This exorcist claimed that anyone who went there had successfully rid themselves of ghosts. He mentioned that the ritual at the tomb costs Rs. 15,000 for the entire family. Spending Rs. 15,000 on exorcism seems excessive to me. While Hinduism does acknowledge the existence of ghosts, there are also simpler and more cost-effective ways to address such concerns. For instance, the name “Ram” is considered a powerful mantra that, according to belief, can dispel all kinds of evil spirits and ghosts. If I were to address the issue of ghosts, I would prefer using this straightforward and economical method of repeating the name of Ram, rather than spending a large sum on exorcisms.

Tawayaf culture

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I am currently hosting a Fulbright scholar named Megan, who is conducting research for the University of Pittsburgh. Her research focuses on the tawayaf culture. She has rented an entire flat and will be staying with us until June 2010. We have discussed various aspects of tawayaf culture in Varanasi. While I was aware that Lucknow was the most renowned center for tawayafs, Megan mentioned that the tawayaf culture in Varanasi has virtually disappeared. However, after speaking with a few friends and relatives, I learned that there are still some places where tawayafs perform.

Many people mistakenly believe that tawayafs were merely prostitutes, but this is far from the truth. Tawayafs were highly educated women, trained in various skills such as dancing, singing, and literature, and were well-respected in society. My friend Ravi told me that children from royal families were sent to tawayafs for training in behavior, ghazal writing, and other skills. The residence of tawayafs was known as a “kotha,” which is now commonly misinterpreted as a brothel, but this is not accurate. Kothas were actually places where tawayafs lived and performed.

Typically, a kotha would house multiple tawayafs, with one senior tawayaf serving as the head. The head was responsible for training the other tawayafs. Kothas often hosted dance performances every evening that were open to the public. They employed male musicians who played various instruments, while the tawayafs performed dances. Alcohol was served to special clients or occasionally to all attendees. While sex work was also part of the kotha’s activities, it was not comparable to today’s brothels where one can pay a minimal amount for sexual services.

Tawayafs were expensive, and it is said that they had the right to choose their clients. They usually had one special client with whom they maintained a significant relationship, which was quite different from the typical sex work-client relationship. Tawayafs also had children, and this special client often acted as a father figure to the children. Tawayafs were invited to perform at palaces and entertain royal families. From what I have learned, tawayafs were accepted and respected in society, although kothas themselves were still viewed with disdain.

Information about tawayafs is limited, but I have heard that there are still a few kothas operating illegally in Varanasi and Lucknow. Megan’s research on tawayafs is fascinating, but she has expressed a growing interest in studying modern sex workers due to the limited information available on tawayafs. I am eager to learn more about tawayafs and look forward to seeing what insights Megan’s thesis might offer.

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Who actually gets married? A motorbike dowry story.

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A question that has always been on my mind is: who actually gets married—the bride and groom or their families? It’s common to hear about weddings, but sometimes the stories surrounding them make me question who is really getting married—the couple or their families. I recently attended my cousin’s wedding, which was a traditional village wedding, quite different from the more modern weddings in Indian cities. I was particularly interested in the concept of dowry, so I asked my cousins about it. One cousin shared a surprising story about the dowry.

The bride’s family was required to give a motorbike as part of the dowry. They asked the groom which motorbike he preferred, and he chose a Bajaj Platina. The bride’s family purchased this bike about two months before the wedding. However, after buying the bike, they informed my cousin’s family of their choice. My uncle, however, didn’t like the Bajaj Platina and preferred a Hero Honda bike. He insisted that the bride’s family return the Bajaj bike and buy a Hero Honda instead. Since the bride’s family had already paid for the Bajaj Platina, it was difficult for them to return it and get their money back.

They explained that the groom had specifically requested the Bajaj Platina, which is why they bought it. But my uncle argued that they should have consulted him instead of the groom. Since the groom works in Korba, a city about 30 hours away by train from our village, my uncle said the bike would not be used by the groom and should be used by him instead. To resolve the issue, the bride’s family involved the bride. They asked her to tell the groom’s siblings that she preferred the Bajaj bike over the Honda, hoping to convince my uncle.

Despite her efforts, my uncle refused to accept the Bajaj bike. He insisted that it should be a Hero Honda, which was his choice. Eventually, the bride’s family had to pay a penalty, return the Bajaj bike, and buy the Hero Honda. This bike was neither the groom’s nor the bride’s choice; it was simply my uncle’s preference. The bride’s family lost about Rs. 10,000 in the process. It was astonishing to see how the bride and groom had no control over their own wedding. Why ask for a bike if it wouldn’t be used by either the bride or groom? Who was really getting married—the bride and groom or my uncle? I saw my uncle driving the new bike the day after the wedding. I wonder when the bride will get to use the bike her father purchased for her.

After the wedding, the bride moved into the groom’s village house but stayed there while he returned to his work in Korba. I asked my cousin about this, and he explained that village tradition requires the bride to live with her in-laws for at least two years after the wedding. So now, while the groom is in Korba, the bride is left in the village, managing household chores and taking care of her in-laws. At just 19 years old, the bride would have loved to move to Korba with her husband. Instead, she is stuck in the village, where she spends her time cooking, cleaning, and looking after her in-laws. She would have preferred to continue her studies, which would have been easier if she lived with her husband in Korba. I hope that someday, these traditions will change and women in India will have equal rights. For now, though, there is hope for a better future.

Group wedding of 32 poor couples

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Lok Samiti organized another group wedding for 32 underprivileged couples on May 10th this year. It was a grand event, with over 8,000 attendees. I arrived around 1 PM and saw families bustling with preparations for the wedding, everyone was brimming with excitement. The wedding was held at a Hanuman Temple near Rajatalab, Varanasi. Given the temple’s limited space, the event was set up in an open area behind the temple. They had erected a tent with a beautifully decorated stage for the couples.

Lok Samiti also arranged food for the attendees of the wedding. The main objective of organizing a group wedding is to eliminate dowry practices and assist underprivileged individuals in getting married. Since the wedding is officially registered and managed by Lok Samiti, the groom’s family is legally bound by a document that prohibits them from demanding any dowry from the bride’s family, either now or in the future. I find this approach commendable. All the couples who married under these conditions were so impoverished that they would have been unable to afford a wedding on their own.

Lok Samiti gave bicycles to all the grooms and sewing machines to the brides so that they can be self dependent. Actually a lot of people come to Varanasi city area from the villages to work and the idea behind giving bicycles is that these people can use theses bicycles to come to Varanasi and work. The same idea is behind giving sewing machines as well, that the brides could do some sewing work and make some money. A lot of people from different parts of India and abroad had donated money to make this noble event true. I was responsible to bring some foreign donation.

Lok Samiti’s members had been collecting donations for the past three months and, ultimately, they raised a total of Rs. 2,60,000, which included cash, grains, clothes, and other items. The MP from the Rajatalab area was the largest donor, contributing Rs. 66,000, while his wife was the second-largest donor, providing sarees worth Rs. 15,000. Many others also made generous contributions, giving a variety of gifts and supplies. I was also encouraged to contribute, but unfortunately, I was unable to due to the current economic situation and a lack of work. Last year, I had donated clocks to all the couples on behalf of Sanjeevani Booti.

Lok Samiti appointed representatives in various villages to find individuals interested in participating in the group wedding. These representatives approached villagers to gauge interest and initially selected the men. They then informed these men about the available women and facilitated introductions between their families to arrange the marriages. I heard that some of the couples had traveled from other districts. The couples varied widely in age; some appeared to be over 40, while others seemed as young as 15 or 16. However, Lok Samiti assured that they only select participants who are over 18.

Lok Samiti had initially organized the group wedding for 30 couples, but there were concerns that not all 30 might be present. In the end, however, not only did all 30 couples show up, but two additional couples also decided to get married on the spot. These two new couples selected their partners from among the guests and informed Nandlal Master, the President of Lok Samiti. Although Lok Samiti had prepared only 30 specially designed wedding chairs, they quickly arranged for two additional regular chairs to accommodate the extra couples, ensuring that all 32 couples could be married.

This group wedding was somewhat different from a traditional Hindu wedding. Instead of the usual rituals, the ceremony began with the couples adorning each other with flower garlands. The grooms applied sindoor to the brides’ heads, and the couples then held hands as a symbol of their lasting relationship. Instead of the traditional fire ritual, they circled the Hanuman temple seven times. After completing these key elements, the families were free to carry out any additional rituals or customs they wished. Once the seven circles around the temple were completed, the couples returned to the tent to continue with the remaining ceremonies.

It was truly enjoyable and fascinating. This year’s wedding felt more progressive from the brides’ perspective, as all the brides were asked to unveil their faces. In last year’s event, the brides had their faces covered with their sarees. Although the brides initially appeared on stage with their faces covered, Lok Samiti later instructed them to reveal their faces. It was quite a sight to see 32 couples getting married simultaneously. Overall, my experience was positive, though there were a few aspects that puzzled me. For instance, I noticed some brides seemed to be sleeping, which gave the impression that they were either uninterested in the marriage or that the ceremony held little significance for them.

Lok Samiti is planning to organize a group wedding for 51 couples again next year on May 10th. They have chosen this date because it is the wedding anniversary of the MP (Member of Parliament) from the Rajatalab area. Since he is always the largest donor and a key supporter of this event, they have decided to hold the wedding on this date annually. I’m excited for next year and look forward to seeing all the brides and grooms excited, joyful, and fully awake.