Category Archives: Women’s issues

Guide training program – week 6

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The final week of classroom teaching has concluded, and it was a diverse and insightful week. We covered a range of topics including Jaipur, Indo-Islamic architecture, emergency procedures, gems and jewelry, Jainism, the business history of India, and project report preparation. While all the classes were informative, the one on “Things to Do in Any Emergency” stood out as the most memorable. The class was delivered by a retired Air India air hostess, and her approach was refreshingly candid.

She covered essential topics such as medical emergencies, sex, homosexuality, HIV/AIDS, and other STIs. Her openness about these subjects was unprecedented in our training. She provided practical advice on what to do if a tourist makes inappropriate sexual advances. She emphasized that while it is ultimately our choice whether to engage in such activities, if we decide to proceed, using condoms is crucial to reduce the risk of STI transmission. Her focus on HIV/AIDS was particularly notable; she shared her own experiences from her career in the service sector, highlighting the importance of safe practices.

Her discussion on homosexuality was equally enlightening. Although I was already familiar with the basics, many in the class found it new and eye-opening. She encouraged participants to embrace their sexuality and communicate openly with their families. She also discussed recent legal advancements, such as the High Court judgment supporting LGBTQ+ rights in India. She criticized the outdated belief that homosexuality is a disease and debunked the misconception that marriage to an opposite-sex partner could “cure” it.

The air hostess’s candidness about such sensitive topics was striking. In a setting where discussing sex and sexuality is often taboo, her willingness to address these issues was both bold and appreciated. The lecture was engaging and left a significant impact on everyone. On the final day of the week, all participants gathered in the institute’s auditorium for a certificate presentation. This certificate will be useful for engaging with government officials regarding our projects. Female participants were specially acknowledged on stage to encourage their participation, with the institute stressing the need for more female tour guides in the Indian tourism industry.

Overall, the week was both educational and inspiring, providing us with valuable knowledge and practical skills for our future careers.

Who actually gets married? A motorbike dowry story.

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A question that has always been on my mind is: who actually gets married—the bride and groom or their families? It’s common to hear about weddings, but sometimes the stories surrounding them make me question who is really getting married—the couple or their families. I recently attended my cousin’s wedding, which was a traditional village wedding, quite different from the more modern weddings in Indian cities. I was particularly interested in the concept of dowry, so I asked my cousins about it. One cousin shared a surprising story about the dowry.

The bride’s family was required to give a motorbike as part of the dowry. They asked the groom which motorbike he preferred, and he chose a Bajaj Platina. The bride’s family purchased this bike about two months before the wedding. However, after buying the bike, they informed my cousin’s family of their choice. My uncle, however, didn’t like the Bajaj Platina and preferred a Hero Honda bike. He insisted that the bride’s family return the Bajaj bike and buy a Hero Honda instead. Since the bride’s family had already paid for the Bajaj Platina, it was difficult for them to return it and get their money back.

They explained that the groom had specifically requested the Bajaj Platina, which is why they bought it. But my uncle argued that they should have consulted him instead of the groom. Since the groom works in Korba, a city about 30 hours away by train from our village, my uncle said the bike would not be used by the groom and should be used by him instead. To resolve the issue, the bride’s family involved the bride. They asked her to tell the groom’s siblings that she preferred the Bajaj bike over the Honda, hoping to convince my uncle.

Despite her efforts, my uncle refused to accept the Bajaj bike. He insisted that it should be a Hero Honda, which was his choice. Eventually, the bride’s family had to pay a penalty, return the Bajaj bike, and buy the Hero Honda. This bike was neither the groom’s nor the bride’s choice; it was simply my uncle’s preference. The bride’s family lost about Rs. 10,000 in the process. It was astonishing to see how the bride and groom had no control over their own wedding. Why ask for a bike if it wouldn’t be used by either the bride or groom? Who was really getting married—the bride and groom or my uncle? I saw my uncle driving the new bike the day after the wedding. I wonder when the bride will get to use the bike her father purchased for her.

After the wedding, the bride moved into the groom’s village house but stayed there while he returned to his work in Korba. I asked my cousin about this, and he explained that village tradition requires the bride to live with her in-laws for at least two years after the wedding. So now, while the groom is in Korba, the bride is left in the village, managing household chores and taking care of her in-laws. At just 19 years old, the bride would have loved to move to Korba with her husband. Instead, she is stuck in the village, where she spends her time cooking, cleaning, and looking after her in-laws. She would have preferred to continue her studies, which would have been easier if she lived with her husband in Korba. I hope that someday, these traditions will change and women in India will have equal rights. For now, though, there is hope for a better future.

Dowry in Indian Marriages

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My cousin is set to get married, likely in December this year. A relative of mine, who works permanently at a bank, is deeply involved in arranging marriages. He knows several families looking to marry off their children and suggested to my uncle that his son should marry one of his relative’s daughters. The bride is pursuing a master’s degree at the Sanskrit University, while my cousin works for a travel agency in Delhi. My cousin has always been eager to get married, and now it seems his dream is coming true. Neither the bride nor the groom had met before this arrangement.

They were introduced briefly when my cousin visited Varanasi a few days ago, and that was the extent of their interaction. My cousin liked the bride upon seeing her and decided she was the one for him. The engagement took place yesterday. A few days prior to the engagement, my cousin mentioned that the bride might not be well-suited for Delhi, given her education in Varanasi through the Sanskrit board. Nevertheless, he was determined to marry her, partly because she has only one other sister. He seemed most excited about the prospect of inheriting property.

He mentioned that after the bride’s father passes away, he and the husband of the other sister would inherit all the assets. He was particularly thrilled about the prospect of owning a house in Varanasi. When I estimated the cost of such a house to be around five hundred thousand rupees, he was even more delighted. He joked that the bride’s worth was at least two hundred fifty thousand rupees currently, and that her value would increase over time. He speculated on how long her father might live—five years, ten years, fifteen years—and anticipated that he would get half of the property upon the father’s death.

The engagement was unusual because neither the bride nor the groom attended. Only the families met to complete the formalities. The bride’s father provided Rs. 10,000 ($200), along with some fruits, sweets, and a suit for the groom. The wedding is scheduled for December 12, at which time the remainder of the dowry will be given. This includes Rs. 50,000 in cash, a gold chain for the groom, five pieces of gold jewelry, clothing for the bride, and household items like a bed, refrigerator, wardrobe, TV, and music system. The bride’s family will provide these on the wedding day, having already given Rs. 10,000 in advance, leaving a balance of Rs. 40,000.

The groom requested cash instead of household items because, although the wedding will be in Varanasi, he lives in Delhi and has already purchased some furnishings like a TV and a bed. He plans to use the cash from the bride’s family to cover wedding expenses, meaning he won’t have to spend from his own funds, while the bride’s family will bear the significant costs. The bride’s father is a retired municipal employee who worked as a temporary staff member for most of his career, earning approximately Rs. 2,000-3,000 per month. He became a permanent employee in 1999 and retired in 2008, so he only earned a decent salary for about nine years.

I suspect he will use a substantial portion of his savings for this wedding. Although my cousin has already bought some household items, he still requested cash. This wedding feels more like a commercial transaction than a union of two individuals, where one party gains significantly while the other bears the financial burden and even harbors resentment. Dowry remains a significant issue in India and is a major factor in the declining sex ratio. I once believed that a decreasing sex ratio might lead to a reduction in dowry demands, but the situation hasn’t improved. The ratio of girls continues to fall, and dowry demands are rising. Some joke that grooms will eventually have to pay dowry due to the shortage of girls, but from what I see with people like my cousin, this joke may remain just that—a joke.

Newly born girl child thrown on the street

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Neetu is a sixteen-year-old girl who lives with one of my relatives in Mau district. Her story begins tragically: she was abandoned in a heap of garbage near the Mau railway station shortly after birth. Despite her desperate cries, no one stepped forward to help her. Fortunately, a relative of mine saw Neetu and couldn’t bear to leave her behind. He picked her up from the garbage and took her to his home. Upon arriving home, he showed Neetu to his wife, who was initially furious. She was already overwhelmed with their seven children—two daughters and five sons—and was not inclined to take on another child.

However, her husband argued that leaving Neetu in the garbage could mean certain death at the hands of an animal. They were initially unsure of Neetu’s gender, mistakenly thinking she was a male baby. When his wife discovered Neetu was a girl, her distress grew, worrying about the future dowry for her marriage. Nevertheless, they eventually decided to keep her. Now, at sixteen years old, Neetu has completed her 10th grade with good marks. My aunt, who had grown fond of Neetu, passed away a few years ago, leaving my uncle to care for her. My uncle, now elderly and retired, is largely neglected by his other children who live far away.

He is fully dependent on Neetu and is proud of his decision to keep her in the family. However, he is deeply concerned about her future, particularly her marriage. He has been searching for a groom for Neetu but has faced repeated rejection. The issue is not her character or education but the stigma associated with her origins. When potential suitors learn that Neetu was found in the garbage, they refuse to marry her. Neetu is being judged and rejected for circumstances beyond her control. My uncle’s dilemma is further compounded by the conservative and male-dominated nature of society in Mau. Despite his willingness to consider even an inter-caste groom, the stigma remains a significant barrier.

In Indian society, where boys are often prioritized over girls, Neetu’s situation highlights the deep-seated gender biases. The preference for male children leads to the tragic reality of female infanticide and the societal pressures faced by families with daughters. There are instances where people are criticized for having only daughters, facing scorn and ridicule, and there is an outdated belief that only males should perform certain rituals, such as carrying a body to the cremation ground. However, times are slowly changing.

I’ve heard of cases where daughters have defied tradition and performed last rites for their fathers, despite the initial shock it may cause. This shift indicates that attitudes are evolving, even if slowly. Hinduism, in its teachings, places women in high regard, but societal practices often fall short of these ideals. I remain hopeful that one day society will overcome these discriminatory attitudes, and girls like Neetu will not face such unjust barriers. I wish Neetu finds happiness and a loving partner, and I hope that the future will see a more equitable treatment of all children, regardless of their gender or circumstances of birth.

Life of an Indian Woman

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Nisha, my neighbor, moved into the neighborhood four years ago after marrying my friend’s brother. She’s also a friend of my wife’s. My wife told me that Nisha’s life before marriage was incredibly difficult. Her parents were very poor. A cousin, a government employee, would help Nisha’s family, but not out of familial obligation. Instead, he used this as leverage to sexually abuse her. He forced himself on her, threatening to stop helping her family if she resisted. Nisha was terrified and helpless. Even in front of friends, her cousin would harass her.

She could only cry and submit to his demands. This abuse continued for years, both before and after her marriage, whenever she visited her family. Now, her cousin blackmails her, threatening to tell her husband about their past if she doesn’t continue the abuse. Fear of her husband finding out keeps Nisha from cutting ties with her family. My wife told me this story, but I also witnessed firsthand what happened to Nisha after her marriage, as she lives nearby and is my friend’s sister-in-law. Immediately after the wedding, she faced immense pressure for dowry. Her husband would beat her and demand money from her family, but her parents were too poor to help.

Despite the abuse, she refused to ask her parents for money. Her mother-in-law would also mistreat her, denying her husband the right to sleep with her. They lived in separate rooms until the mother-in-law passed away. Nisha was responsible for all household chores, including cooking, cleaning, and laundry, while enduring constant abuse. She couldn’t even share a bed with her husband. Eventually, the stress took a toll on her mental health, but her husband neglected her. He sent her back to her parents’ home, where she stayed for six to seven months recovering. During this time, she was again abused by her cousin. When Nisha returned to her husband’s family, her problems were far from over. The beatings continued, and her husband persisted in demanding money from her parents.

The passing of her mother-in-law marked the end of one challenge, but the beginning of another. Nisha’s sister-in-law stepped into her mother-in-law’s role, treating her with similar cruelty. However, unlike her mother-in-law, she didn’t interfere with Nisha’s relationship with her husband. Nisha eventually gave birth to a son, which likely provided her with some relief. Had she given birth to a daughter, the situation could have been dire. Her abusive husband might have rejected a female child. It’s possible that she underwent a prenatal ultrasound to determine the baby’s sex, given her family’s history of harmful actions.

Nisha’s son is now one year old, but her sister-in-law continues to interfere. She tries to alienate Nisha from her child, keeping the baby busy and preventing Nisha from bonding with him. Nisha’s other sister-in-law plays a similar role, constantly engaging with the baby and providing care. Nisha longs to see her baby, but her husband and sister-in-law prevent her from doing so. About seven months ago, when the baby was only five months old, Nisha’s husband sent the child to his other sister in Delhi. Despite still breastfeeding, Nisha was abruptly forced to stop. The engorgement caused her immense pain, and she cried out in agony.

She desperately wanted her baby to feed, but he was far away. Her husband was absent at the time. Neighbors heard her cries and rushed her to the hospital. By the time she arrived, she had fainted. The doctor insisted that she breastfeed immediately, warning that the engorgement could be fatal. Concerned neighbors contacted Nisha’s husband, hoping for his cooperation. Instead, he began beating her in the hospital. The doctor recommended admitting Nisha to relieve the engorgement, but her husband refused. He called his sister, who had the baby in Delhi.

Her husband’s abuse escalated. Nisha suggested that he ask the doctor to stop her milk production, hoping to end the pain. Reluctantly, he agreed, and the doctor took steps to suppress her lactation. However, the pain persisted. The doctor urged Nisha’s husband to admit her to the hospital, but he refused. Instead, he brought her home and continued to abuse her. She was locked in a room for days without any medical care. All she could do was cry. Nisha’s husband and sister-in-law want the baby to forget his mother so they can keep him and force Nisha out of the family. They intentionally torture her, hoping she will leave, die, or disappear.

Nisha has lost all hope. She can’t even return to her impoverished parents. Neighbors are concerned and want to intervene, but Nisha forbids them, fearing that her family would retaliate violently. Nisha’s situation is dire, and something must be done. This is a clear consequence of our cultural bias that prioritizes males over females. While Hinduism traditionally respects women, this reverence has been eroded over time. Even young girls are revered in certain rituals. Our culture values women highly, but the implementation of this respect has faltered.

India is often touted as a developing nation, but this development is incomplete without gender equality. The progress of only male-dominated sectors is insufficient. Despite having a large number of professional women, which is a significant achievement, the reality remains bleak in many areas. In states like Haryana, Uttar Pradesh, and Bihar, the female sex ratio continues to decline. I hope for change, but it may be beyond my lifetime.

Negotiation of dowry

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It was the first time in my life that I heard a family discussing their son’s marriage in such a transactional manner. My neighbor, whose son lives in Delhi after completing his 12th grade studies, is keen to get him married soon. The groom’s mother and grandmother visited our home to inquire if there were any suitable girls in our family. They spoke with my mother about the marriage, and my mother knew a few families looking to marry off their daughters.

The groom is only 26 years old and still a student, pursuing a computer degree. They requested a dowry of Rs. 10,00,000 (US$25,000) in cash, along with household items such as a refrigerator, washing machine, TV, music system, and a bike. Their exact words to my mother were, “We deserve to get back what we have invested in our child’s education.” Hearing a family speak in this way was shocking. It didn’t feel like a marriage proposal; it felt more like a business transaction where they expected a return on their investment with added profit. My mother decided not to consider any of her relatives for this family.

Rs. 10,00,000 is a significant amount for a middle-class Indian family. Most people cannot save such a sum in their entire lives. Furthermore, there is no guarantee that after paying this amount, the groom’s side won’t ask for more. Typically, greedy families continue to demand additional dowry even after the marriage. It’s horrifying to hear about brides being killed over dowry disputes. How can anyone kill a family member over money?

Another issue arises from the competition between sons-in-law. For instance, if a father has two daughters, he is expected to pay the same dowry for both. One of my friends has four brothers. The eldest got married about four years ago, and the second brother married about two years ago. The second brother received a bike as dowry, which the eldest had not. Consequently, the elder brother started pressuring his wife to ask her father for a bike, resulting in her father having to provide additional cash even after four years of marriage.

My cousin also wants a car for his marriage. He works at a travel agency and earns only Rs. 6,000 per month, which isn’t enough to cover the costs of petrol and maintenance for a car, yet he insists on having one. While there are NGOs that organize dowry-free marriages, they are still not widely known or practiced. Dowry remains a major factor contributing to the declining sex ratio in India. Although there are cultural issues at play, they are not as pervasive as the dowry system. I hope to see change in my lifetime, but I’m not sure if it will happen.

Rinki’s good heart and her marriage

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Rinki, my uncle’s daughter, is now 25 years old. Her father has been searching for a groom for the past two years, but finding a match has been challenging. The primary issue is that Rinki had heart valve surgery a few years ago. Despite the fact that she was treated by one of the most renowned doctors in India, who has confirmed that she is in excellent health now, prospective grooms and their families have been hesitant. They are concerned that Rinki might still be unwell or could face future health issues. My uncle has made considerable efforts, approaching numerous families through his own connections, but to no avail.

He is even willing to offer dowry if needed, but no one agrees. My father also tried to find a groom for Rinki in Varanasi. A friend of his recommended a relative who has a Master’s degree in Astrology and works with his father, an astrologer. Initially, everything seemed promising. The groom’s family did not believe in dowry and appeared very accommodating. After meeting with them and discussing the proposal, my father took a photo of the groom to show our family. Everyone liked him, and the decision now rested on Rinki’s approval. My father informed Rinki’s father, who then traveled to Varanasi to meet the groom’s family.

He also liked the groom and agreed to the match. I was asked to send the groom’s photo to my brother in Noida, where Rinki is currently living, so she could see it and give her opinion. Given Rinki’s shy nature and the history of rejections she has faced, I knew she would likely not express any disapproval, even if she had reservations. Rinki did not view the photo but expressed her willingness to marry the groom chosen by her father. We also sent Rinki’s photo and her Kundali (horoscope) to the groom’s side. Everyone was excited about the wedding, which was planned for February.

My mother inquired about what gifts we would give Rinki, and the family was preparing to come to Varanasi for wedding shopping. Everyone was enthusiastic and hopeful. However, today we received disappointing news: the groom’s family has canceled the marriage. They claimed that Rinki is not as educated as the groom, which seemed like an unreasonable excuse. The groom holds a Master’s degree in Astrology, while Rinki has a Bachelor’s degree in Arts. The educational difference is minimal, and Rinki is still young and willing to pursue further education.

The cancellation was disheartening and left me feeling deeply saddened. It’s frustrating when educated people use such excuses, and it makes me question our society’s values. Repeated rejections can make Rinki feel like a burden to her family and cause her to doubt her worth, which is unfair. This situation highlights broader issues within our male-dominated and often uneducated society. It is distressing to see women’s rights continually violated and to witness the immense pressure placed on girls in small towns and villages. They are often presented as mere commodities in the marriage market, subjected to judgments about their appearance and perceived worth, and pressured into dowry arrangements that their families cannot afford.

Our sex ratio in 2001 was 933 girls for every 1,000 boys, and the imbalance continues to worsen. The future seems uncertain, and it is disheartening to think about how long it will take for girls and boys to have equal rights and opportunities.

Tour guide exam result

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The results for the tour guide exam have finally been declared, and I passed! The exam was held on August 26, 2007, and the results were announced on November 7, 2008, after more than a year. The government faced numerous challenges during this period, including four lawsuits from applicants on various grounds, but everything is now settled. Out of over 50,000 applicants, only 300 passed the exam, and I secured the 223rd rank. One notable observation from the results is that only eight women passed the exam.

This could be attributed to two factors: either parents are still reluctant to allow their daughters to work away from home, or women may feel insecure about such jobs. Indian girls in small cities are often highly qualified, pursuing higher education in fields like history or languages, which are well-suited for this profession. Despite the high demand for female tour guides, the number of successful female candidates remains low. I am now set to begin a sixteen-week training program, which includes fourteen weeks of classroom instruction and two weeks of touring various monuments in North India with a professor.

After completing this training and tour, another exam will be conducted. Those who pass the exam will undergo an interview, and upon successful completion, a tour guide license will be issued. This training is part of the preparations for the Commonwealth Games in 2010, so it seems likely that the government will not delay the start of the training. However, given the unpredictable nature of government processes, there might still be unforeseen delays. Despite this, I am excited about the training and eager to obtain my license so I can start working as a tour guide as soon as possible.

End of life – Sadhus and Sanyasis

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According to Hindu Dharma, there are four stages of life known as Ashrams: Brahmcharya, Grihastha, Vanaprastha, and Sannyasa. The Brahmcharya Ashram represents the student phase, which ideally ends by the age of 25. While one can continue to study beyond this age, marriage is generally expected to follow. The Grihastha Ashram begins at 26 and lasts until around 50, during which individuals are expected to marry and build a family. Vanaprastha, the stage from 50 to 75, is a time for preparing for the final stage of life, Sannyasa.

During Vanaprastha, individuals are expected to fulfill their familial responsibilities, such as marrying off their daughters and helping their sons become self-sufficient. They should also start preparing for Sannyasa by engaging in meditation and rituals. Sannyasa, which starts at around 76 and continues until death, involves renouncing worldly attachments and living a life of asceticism. Sannyasis, or renunciates, do not stay at home but reside in monasteries, which are available in every Indian city, where they live free of cost.

To become a Sannyasi, individuals must perform various rituals, the most significant being the symbolic renunciation of their physical body. They often stand naked in the river while reciting mantras, symbolically discarding their worldly self. Though they remain physically alive, they perform all the rites usually done posthumously, signifying their detachment from earthly life. Consequently, Sannyasis’ bodies are never cremated; instead, they are submerged in the river. Once they have entered Sannyasa, they are bound by strict rules.

These include prohibitions against handling money, dealing with fire, cooking, and consuming flavorful food. They must beg for their sustenance, purify their food by washing it, and repeat the name of Lord Ram 21,000 times daily. They traditionally wear orange clothing, symbolizing their devotion to Hinduism. Brahmin Sannyasis carry a staff, which is also submerged with their body upon death; no other caste members receive this staff. Sannyasis typically reside in monasteries with other Sannyasis, dedicating most of their time to repeating the name of Lord Ram.

They might receive occasional visits from their families, but generally lead solitary lives. During my work with researchers, I met numerous Sannyasis, and their stories were consistently surprising. Most expressed a profound eagerness for death, often stating that they hope to meet their end soon. I once spoke with a 70-year-old woman who had lived in a monastery for 30 years, waiting for death. She was the first female Sannyasi I had encountered. She explained that while females do not undergo the same rigorous rituals as males, they follow similar rules and live in separate sections of the monasteries.

She came to Varanasi with her husband, who had tuberculosis. After his death, she continued to live in the monastery, awaiting her own. Despite the unconventional nature of her life, she was deeply content and looked forward to her final moment. In contrast, I also spoke with a male Sannyasi, around 70 years old, who had embraced Sannyasa at 35 due to personal tragedies. Though he appeared quite ill, he too was happy discussing his impending death. I found it intriguing how people could be so content discussing their end.

Another Sannyasi I met had turned to Sannyasa to escape legal consequences. Accused of multiple murders, he sought refuge in Varanasi and became a Sannyasi to evade the authorities. He continued to live a relatively comfortable life, with family visits and monetary support, which was contrary to the austere image of Sannyasa. My experiences with various Sannyasis revealed a wide range of motivations and circumstances. Many seemed to view Sannyasa as a form of penance or a path to liberation. Despite a recent decline in the number of Sannyasis, Varanasi remains a unique destination where people come to conclude their earthly journeys.

Group Wedding in Varanasi

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Lok Samiti organized a group wedding for 30 impoverished couples in Varanasi with the aim of providing security for the brides and promoting dowry-free marriages. All the couples were so poor that they could not afford a wedding on their own. Typically, the groom’s side demands dowry, but in this event, no dowry was allowed. Instead, all gifts for the brides and grooms were provided by Lok Samiti and other donors. I was invited by Nandlal Master and asked to contribute. Seeing the event as an excellent opportunity for my NGO, Sanjeevni Booti, I decided to participate.

With around 10,000 people expected to attend, I discussed with Lane about contributing gifts and conducting a survey on AIDS awareness among the villagers. We decided to give clocks as gifts because they are long-lasting and frequently seen. Lane had initial concerns about the ethics of giving clocks but eventually agreed with the idea. Lane covered all the expenses, including the clocks, pamphlets, survey sheets, and travel costs. I bought 30 clocks and had Sanjeevni Booti’s name printed on each one. We packed them with a pamphlet about AIDS in each packet. I asked Raju and Sonu, fellow members of Sanjeevni Booti, to assist with the event. Raju, who was busy with his job, agreed to help for a day’s pay, while Bablu could not be persuaded.

On the day of the wedding, Raju, Sonu, and I arrived at the venue. Lok Samiti members were busy decorating the stage, arranging chairs, and preparing flowers. They had also organized food for over 10,000 people. The preparations had been ongoing for a month, with chefs preparing sweets for a week. Numerous political leaders, social workers, and donors were present. The wife of Mehndiganj’s block representative contributed 30 Benaresi sarees for the brides. Lok Samiti invited the grooms and brides onto the stage. Although 30 couples were scheduled to marry, two were unable to attend, so 28 couples participated.

They exchanged garlands, completing the marriage formalities. Nandlal Master then presented a document for the couples to sign—many were uneducated and simply thumb-printed the paper. Nandlal read the document aloud, stating that the couples pledged never to fight, to live together, and that no dowry would be demanded. Any breach would result in legal action by Lok Samiti. Afterward, the couples proceeded to a nearby Shiva temple for the final rites. Traditionally, Hindu weddings involve walking around a sacred fire, but in this case, the couples circled the Shiva temple instead, with Shiva standing as witness to the marriage.

The wedding concluded with the distribution of gifts. I handed out the clocks with Raju, Sonu, and our driver. Other gifts included sarees, watches, pots, and additional items. Lok Samiti provided each bride with a sewing machine and each groom with a bicycle, believing these items would help the couples become financially independent in the future. Amanda, my American friend, also contributed a sewing machine and two boxes of refined oil. It was a memorable experience to see 30 couples marry simultaneously on the same stage.

I found it particularly interesting that three of the brides appeared to be sleeping on stage, which seemed unusual for a wedding. Nandlal Master mentioned that Lok Samiti plans to organize similar group weddings in the future, with 51 couples expected next year. I appreciated the way Lok Samiti handled the event, ensuring everything was formalized on paper, which should help prevent dowry demands and ensure the brides’ security.