Tag Archives: women’s rights

Caste system in India

Posted on by
Reply

Casteism in Modern India: A Personal Reflection

Casteism has always been a big issue in India. Originally, the caste system was designed as a way to organize society, based on profession rather than birth. It wasn’t meant to divide people permanently. In fact, in the past, caste was flexible — if someone changed their profession, their caste also changed. But over time, people with power altered the system for their own benefit, and now a person’s caste is decided entirely by the caste of their parents. Once you are born a Brahmin, you remain a Brahmin forever, no matter your work or life choices.

Traditionally, different castes had specific roles: Kshatriyas were warriors and rulers, Brahmins were scholars and priests, Vaishyas were traders, and Shudras worked in service professions and farming. In the earliest system, this arrangement was functional and not necessarily oppressive. But the distortion began when kings and higher-caste elites realized that if their children chose different professions, they could lose their social power. To protect their dominance, they declared that caste would be hereditary — fixed by birth. This was the beginning of the rigid, unequal caste hierarchy that continues today.

I was born a Brahmin, but my profession is completely different. By the original rules, I should not be treated as a Brahmin at all — yet society still labels me that way. Honestly, it doesn’t offend me; in fact, I sometimes enjoy the benefits of belonging to a higher caste. But when I think of those born into lower castes, I feel disturbed. Even today, many people who have transformed their lives through education or good jobs are still judged by their caste rather than their achievements.

The reality is harsh: wealth can often protect lower-caste individuals from discrimination, but poverty leaves them exposed to the worst of caste-based cruelty. For example, the former Chief Minister of Uttar Pradesh, a Dalit woman, rose to power and commanded respect from people who would never dare to mistreat her publicly. Yet at the village level, Dalits still face exclusion from public services, discrimination in schools, and social humiliation.

One group I learned about deeply is the Doam community, whose traditional role is helping with cremations. I worked with them three years ago and saw firsthand how badly they are treated. They are considered “untouchable” in society — denied access to common wells, pumps, and even schools. Nobody will accept food or water touched by them. But when I studied Hindu traditions more closely, I realized this stigma is a complete distortion. Hinduism does describe temporary ritual impurity — for example, anyone who attends a funeral becomes untouchable until they bathe. I have experienced this myself many times. But by that logic, Doms should only be untouchable while performing cremation duties — not permanently. Society has twisted this practice into something cruel and irrational.

The cruelty sometimes reaches shocking levels. On 24 September 2010, I read an article in Amar Ujala about a Dalit woman who offered a roti to a dog. The dog’s owner, a Yadav man, became furious and declared his dog “untouchable” because it had eaten food from a Dalit’s hand. A Panchayat meeting was called, and unbelievably, they ruled that the woman had to take ownership of the dog and pay a fine of ₹15,000 to the owner. How could a poor woman afford that? And how could a Panchayat — a government-recognized body with legal power — make such a decision in the first place?

Even worse, when the woman went to file a complaint at the police station, the officers refused to register it and instead scolded her for feeding the dog. She went to the DIG and again her complaint was ignored. Only when she approached the SC/ST DSP office was the case registered — and I am almost certain no real action will be taken. At best, they might hush it up because the media got involved.

Incidents like this shake me. Are we really living in the 21st century India we are so proud of? Is this the same India we call the world’s fastest-growing economy, a rising superpower? Is this the same land of Lord Rama, who lovingly ate food offered by Sabari, a woman from an “untouchable” caste, or bowed to a boatman from a so-called lower community?

Sometimes, it feels like we are stuck in two worlds — one that dreams of becoming a global power, and another that refuses to let go of ancient prejudices.

Times of India also reported this news.

Scanned article of Amar Ujala Hindi newspaper. 24/09/10

Women in Nepal and India

Posted on by
Reply

I noticed that there were more working women in Nepal than in India. Most of the shops were run by women, and Nepali women seemed to be in better condition than Indian women. Nepal appeared to be more progressive in terms of women’s rights compared to India. Women were traveling alone, going to offices, running shops, and even driving auto rickshaws. They seemed more friendly with men, which looked really cool to me. I was happy to see it. I saw many alcohol shops run by women. I had never seen anything like that anywhere in India. Once, I came across an alcohol shop with a woman owner, and I decided to talk to her. I began by asking about the alcohol, and once we became friendly, I asked her about her life.

I asked her if she felt safe sitting alone at an alcohol shop and dealing with male customers who might be drunk. She told me that managing the business was just like any other male member of her family managing a business; there was no difference, so it wasn’t a problem for her. I inquired whether people in society minded women working at alcohol shops, and she said that Nepali society is very progressive regarding equal rights for women. When I asked if she had ever been to India, she replied that she had never visited but had seen India on TV. In reality, she didn’t seem excited about visiting India.

I told her that it was nearly impossible to find women selling alcohol in India and that there was a lower percentage of working women there. She said she was very well aware of the situation for women in India. She mentioned that many Indian families live in Nepal and do not allow their women to work. When I asked her what Nepali people thought of this situation, she candidly said that they think Indians are backward. I was surprised to hear this, but it is true that we are much more backward than Nepal in terms of women’s rights and equality.

The nature in Nepal was stunning. One could easily see that it is still untouched. There were beautiful thick jungles, clear rivers, fewer industries, fewer people, less traffic, and many mountains—it was just amazing. I really enjoyed the natural beauty in Nepal. I also noticed that I saw only five large factories during my entire bus ride from Sonauli to Kathmandu. In fact, two of them were Indian factories, which is nice because it means less pollution. However, this also means fewer jobs and more poverty.

Poverty in Nepal was striking. There were so many family houses along the Sonauli-Kathmandu highway, and I saw people just sitting or talking, seemingly without any work. I had never seen so many young people just hanging around and passing time. Many kids were selling water bottles and snacks on the road. Nepal has been suffering from political instability for years, which seems to be the main reason for the poverty. I don’t know if there are other reasons, but Nepalis do not seem happy with their political system.

Finally, we arrived in Kathmandu by 8 PM, and it was still raining. I had read about a neighborhood called Thamel, which is full of hotels. I wanted to stay there. I asked Babu to ask some locals for directions, but he said Nepali people are often not helpful and might not give the right directions. He suggested that I go to any shop run by an Indian and ask for directions to Thamel. We went to a paan shop, bought a few things, and fortunately, the owner was kind enough to give us the correct directions. It took us about 10 minutes of walking, and after asking a few more people, we finally arrived.

We reached Thamel, which was bustling with hotels; in fact, it is the most popular neighborhood in Nepal for backpackers. We checked several hotels, but their prices seemed too steep. Babu mentioned that we could easily find a hotel room for 500 NR, but none of them wanted to charge us less than 1000 NR. Eventually, we found a place called Annapurna Hotel, where they initially wanted to charge us 800 NR per night. I told them that I was a government-approved tour guide in India and usually receive discounts. They agreed to give me a room for 500 NR.

The hotel seemed nice at first, but later we realized that the pillow covers and bed sheets were used, the cable connection wasn’t working properly, and the telephone was dead. We complained and were promised that everything would be fixed by the next morning, but that morning never came before we left. In any case, I wasn’t there to enjoy luxury, watch TV, or make phone calls, so I didn’t mind too much. We went out for dinner, but most of the shops were closed by 8:30 PM. We finally found an open restaurant and had our dinner there.

I had read several articles about nightlife in Nepal, including dance bars and massage centers. Many articles claimed that the nightlife was safe, while others described it as crazy and dangerous. Several articles mentioned how people spent a few hours at a nightclub, had a few beers and dinner, and ended up paying Rs. 40,000-50,000 for misbehavior. Some articles talked about how 14-15-year-olds are involved in the sex industry and work as pimps. I was curious about what was going on and decided we should visit at least one nightclub while in Kathmandu.

While wandering in Thamel, I noticed many massage parlors. As we passed one shop with a sign for massage services, I pointed it out to Babu. Suddenly, a boy who looked about 15 approached me and asked what I was looking at. I told him I was just observing the advertisements, but he insisted I was looking for something else, something special. I assured him I was just browsing. He asked again if I needed a special service, and I replied that I did not.

We walked away, but the boy kept following us, asking if we needed a girl. He offered young, beautiful girls at very low prices. He wasn’t alone; there were many pimps around watching tourists. Nevertheless, I managed to return to my hotel safely. The next day, we worked for a while, explored, and did some shopping. It was a nice experience, although I really missed vegetarian Indian food since it seemed to be meat everywhere. On the plus side, drinks were readily available, so I enjoyed trying different kinds of alcohol.

I wanted to use an ATM in Kathmandu but was concerned about international transaction fees. However, Babu informed me that a few Indian banks, like the State Bank of India and Punjab National Bank, have ATMs in Kathmandu. I found a State Bank of India ATM near Darbar Square, used it, and didn’t pay any transaction fees. I would recommend anyone with an Indian bank card to look for Indian bank ATMs in Kathmandu. Phone calls to India were also very cheap; I paid only Rs. 1 per minute.

Since we were interested in visiting a nightclub in Kathmandu, we gathered information online. Fortunately, I met a guy at the NGO where I was supposed to work who was a male prostitute. Who could provide better information about nightlife than him? I asked him about it, and he advised against visiting nightclubs in Kathmandu, stating they are not safe for tourists. He echoed what I had read online, so we decided not to visit any nightclubs.

We visited a few temples, markets, and participated in Kathmandu Gay Pride. Eventually, my time in Kathmandu came to an end, and we needed to head home. Babu informed me that there were overnight buses from Kathmandu to Sonauli until 10 PM. We arrived at the bus station around 8 PM, but all the buses had already left. They told us the last bus was at 7 PM. So we had dinner, stayed at a hotel near the bus station, and took an early morning bus to Sonauli, followed by another bus from Sonauli to Varanasi. It was a successful journey full of learning, and I plan to return to Kathmandu sometime for a longer stay.

Menstrual cycle

Posted on by
5

I recently learned something really interesting — the religious idea behind women having their menstrual cycle. I started exploring it because I often hear people say that women are considered “impure” during this time, and there are so many unusual beliefs associated with it. The religious explanation I found has a fascinating story, and although I’m not sure I believe it, I thought it was worth sharing here.

Two Incidents That Made Me Curious

A few weeks ago, two things happened that made me think more deeply about this subject.

The first was about an old Neem tree in my neighborhood that died. I was very sad about it, as it was the only tree in the entire area. While talking about it with friends, one of them told me something shocking: he said a girl whose menstrual cycle was going on had touched the tree, and that was what killed it. I asked him how that could be possible, and he replied that since women are considered extremely impure during their periods, if they touch a plant, it dies.

The second incident happened when I went to an ashram with a girl I was working with. The ashram was run entirely by women, and we went there to schedule interviews. They asked us to return the next day, but as we were leaving, one of the women suddenly asked my colleague if she was on her menstrual cycle. Coincidentally, she was, so she said yes. Immediately, the woman told her not to come back until her cycle was over.

This upset my colleague, and she told me that now she would have to bathe because she had spoken to and touched someone on her period. I found this perspective very strange and didn’t know what to say. Later, I discussed it with a well-educated woman who had deep knowledge of Hinduism, and she shared a story that really caught my attention.

The Story of Indra and the Sin

She explained that once Lord Indra, the king of the gods, committed the grave sin of killing two Brahmins. Because of this sin, Indra lost all of his divine powers. To hide himself, he went into a river and stayed underwater. His guru, Brihaspati, searched for him, eventually found him, and asked why he was hiding. Indra explained everything and begged for a way to be freed from his sin.

Brihaspati told him the only way was to share his sin with others. Indra approached many beings, but none agreed — until finally, four did: a mountain, a tree, a river, and women. Since they accepted part of Indra’s sin, all four were cursed to experience cycles of impurity.

  • Mountains: Parts of them turn reddish once a year, said to symbolize their cycle.

  • Trees: Some trees release a sticky gum or resin at certain times, representing their cycle. This resin is even used in foods for pregnant women.

  • Rivers: Every year, for two months, rivers foam heavily and their currents become stronger. This is considered their cycle, and bathing in rivers during this time is prohibited in Hinduism — except for the Ganga, Yamuna, and Saraswati, which are always pure.

  • Women: Their menstrual cycle is seen as the same curse, which is why they are traditionally considered impure for a few days each month.

Traditions Still Followed

Even today, many families in India follow certain rules during women’s menstrual cycles. Women may not enter the kitchen, touch elders, or sleep on the bed with their husbands. Some do not bathe for the first three days. Among Marwari families, the customs are stricter — women are kept in a separate room and may not come out until the fourth day, after bathing. The utensils they use are purified by passing them through fire, as fire is considered the purest element in Hinduism. Only then are the utensils allowed back in the kitchen.

The woman I spoke with said women should respect these rules and avoid going out or doing heavy physical work during this time. She even criticized modern sanitary pad advertisements for encouraging women to work and play sports during periods. When I asked what happens to women who cannot take leave every month, she paused and said that these rules were made thousands of years ago, when sanitary products did not exist, and working during periods was much harder. She agreed that today, since many women cannot stop working, they should continue — but avoid strenuous labor like lifting weights, jumping, or playing physically demanding sports.

She also said that science supports the idea of rest during menstruation, and that women should treat these days as “God-gifted vacations” every month. But I wondered — how can someone enjoy a vacation if they are not even allowed to leave their room or speak to others? Her final point was that if women do not respect these rules, they may face illness later in life.

My Reflection

I don’t know how much truth there is in these stories, but I find it fascinating that such explanations exist in Hindu texts written thousands of years ago. The imagination and storytelling ability of those writers was truly extraordinary. Whether one believes in them or not, I can’t help but admire their creativity. Hats off to the writers of our sacred texts!

Tourism in Amritsar

Posted on by
2

After submitting my tour guide license documents at the India Tourism office in New Delhi, I headed to Amritsar. I had heard a lot about the flag ceremony at the Wagah India-Pakistan border, which was the main reason for my visit. I was scheduled to arrive in Amritsar on the evening of the 9th, but due to a 17-hour train delay, I reached on the afternoon of the 10th. I quickly found a hotel near the railway station, dropped off my things, and went straight to Wagah, as the parade was set to start at 4:30 PM. Although I had enough time to get there before the parade, I wanted to arrive early to get a sense of the atmosphere.

The bus dropped me about two kilometers from the border, and I had to take a rickshaw from there. I was keen on experiencing Amritsar and interacting with locals, so I chose to take the bus to engage with more people. The bus was packed, but I managed to get a seat. I arrived at the Wagah border at 3 PM, but at that time, the border was only open to traders, not the general public. Wagah border, like many tourist spots in India, had its share of touts and vendors. There weren’t many shops, but those that were there had touts. Several individuals approached me, trying to direct me to their “brother’s” restaurant or shop.

Being from Varanasi, where the tourism industry is heavily influenced by touts, I was well aware of these tactics. Since I wasn’t hungry, my rickshaw driver didn’t receive any commission. I noticed that Wagah border was one of the few places in India where time was strictly observed. The border closed for traders at 3:30 PM sharp. After the closure, tourists were allowed to queue up. There were about 3,000 people lined up to watch the parade. Some rickshaw drivers offered to get us closer to the front, which I found surprising but true. There were two gates, about 500 meters apart, with a security check in between. People chanted slogans like “Vande Mataram” and “Bharat Mata Ki Jai” with great enthusiasm.

BSF office at Wagah

It turned out that getting to the security check first was crucial for a good view of the parade. The first gate opened at 4 PM, and everyone rushed to the second gate for the security check. I was impressed by the orderly management but was taken aback when I saw two policemen on horses accompanied by a dog. I wondered about the effectiveness of such security measures, given the potential risks. Seeing wild animals around, even in high-security areas, is not uncommon in India, but it was unexpected at such a critical location. The parade began at 4:30 PM and was an unforgettable experience.

On the Indian side, there were around 3,000 to 4,000 spectators, while the Pakistani side had only about 300 to 400 attendees. This discrepancy was likely due to the vast difference in population sizes between the two countries. During the parade, people were cheering loudly for their respective sides. I spoke with locals about the purpose of the parade, and they mentioned that it aimed to bring Indians and Pakistanis closer together. However, the aggressive posturing of the soldiers seemed to contradict this intention. Despite this, I thoroughly enjoyed the parade, which lasted for 45 minutes, culminating in the lowering of the flags on both sides.

BSF flag

After the parade, I was delighted to see women serving at the border. In a predominantly male society like India, where many women are confined to traditional roles, it was inspiring to see women actively involved in border security. They appeared fit, confident, and diligent in their duties, which was a refreshing sight. Later, I visited the Golden Temple, which was magnificent and enormous. I had heard about the Sikh tradition of volunteers managing visitors’ shoes and was impressed by the organization. The volunteers at the shoe stands were efficient and dedicated. Visitors were also provided with cloth pieces to cover their heads before entering the temple. The cold weather, with temperatures dropping to around 0.8°C, made walking on the marble floors quite chilly.

The Golden temple

The Golden Temple was bustling, but the management ensured that the crowds were well-handled. I spent a few hours there, observing the activities and enjoying the Langar meal. The temple’s dedication to service and the sense of community were remarkable. After visiting the Golden Temple, I went to Jallianwala Bagh, a memorial dedicated to the massacre of 2,000 Indians during British rule. The site includes an art gallery, the well where people fell while trying to escape, and walls still bearing bullet marks. It was a somber and emotional experience, with many visitors reflecting on the brutality of the massacre.

The Golden temple

My final stop was the Maharaja Ranjit Singh Museum. Despite being a newly built facility, it lacked a power backup system, which was frustrating. After waiting for an hour due to a power outage, I explored the museum and learned about Maharaja Ranjit Singh’s life. This trip to Amritsar was highly successful and informative, allowing me to learn about Sikh religion and witness the Wagah border ceremony. Despite the cold weather, which I underestimated, the experience was enriching. Unfortunately, my train was canceled due to fog, and I had to buy a new ticket to Delhi and then to Varanasi, with a small bribe involved. Two days felt insufficient for exploring Amritsar, and I hope to return in the future.

Bullet marks

Arranged marriage of cousin

Posted on by
Reply

My cousin’s wedding was scheduled for December 12th, and I was initially excited about it. However, I was unable to attend because I had to be in Gwalior for my tour guide training exams and interview. The wedding was on the 12th, my written exam was on the 13th, and the party was on the 16th, which was also the day of my interview. In retrospect, I’m relieved I didn’t attend, as the events surrounding the wedding turned out to be quite chaotic. My cousin, who worked at a travel agency in Delhi and was 30 years old, wanted to marry and had his parents arrange the match.

My uncle, who had a relative in Benares seeking a groom for his daughter, acted as the mediator. The wedding was set for December, after being arranged in May. Although my cousin and the bride had met secretly, as her father disapproved of pre-marital meetings, they got along well and seemed happy. However, a few days before the wedding, the bride’s father, who seemed rather superstitious, insisted on having my cousin’s horoscope rechecked by a prominent Brahmin. According to traditional beliefs, horoscopes are matched on 32 different qualities, and if fewer than 16 match, the marriage is considered inauspicious.

The bride’s father was concerned that my cousin was a “Manglik,” which supposedly posed issues related to Mars in his horoscope. Despite these concerns, the horoscope was revalidated, and the wedding proceeded as planned. On the wedding day, as the groom’s procession arrived at the bride’s home, a commotion erupted. It was discovered that the bride did not want to marry my cousin because she was in love with someone else. Her boyfriend, accompanied by an advocate, was present and expressed his wish to marry her. The bride, who had left her home just before the wedding procession arrived, took refuge at a neighbor’s house. Her father and others forcefully brought her back.

Amid the chaos, the bride continued to protest and expressed her desire to marry her boyfriend. Despite this, my cousin chose to proceed with the wedding. The bride’s family then physically assaulted the boyfriend and his supporter, imprisoning them overnight, and the marriage was forcibly conducted. The bride was quickly brought to the groom’s home, where she reiterated her feelings to my cousin and asked for his help to reunite with her boyfriend. However, my cousin insisted she accept their marriage, given the circumstances.

It’s difficult for me to understand why my cousin went through with the marriage despite knowing the situation. He often spoke of his age and his fear that he wouldn’t find a partner if he waited longer, which might have influenced his decision. I also struggle to understand why the bride didn’t disclose her relationship with her boyfriend earlier or why this issue was only addressed on the wedding day. Arranged marriages are still common in India, but there’s a growing opposition to the practice. While I don’t have an issue with arranged marriages per se, the circumstances surrounding my cousin’s wedding make me uneasy.

The situation was handled poorly, and it’s distressing to see such forceful measures taken. I’m unsure whether to hope for my cousin and his wife to work things out or consider separation, but one thing is clear: if the bride were to act on her previous desires, it would create significant problems for my cousin and his family.

Tawayaf culture

Posted on by
9

I am currently hosting a Fulbright scholar named Megan, who is conducting research for the University of Pittsburgh. Her research focuses on the tawayaf culture. She has rented an entire flat and will be staying with us until June 2010. We have discussed various aspects of tawayaf culture in Varanasi. While I was aware that Lucknow was the most renowned center for tawayafs, Megan mentioned that the tawayaf culture in Varanasi has virtually disappeared. However, after speaking with a few friends and relatives, I learned that there are still some places where tawayafs perform.

Many people mistakenly believe that tawayafs were merely prostitutes, but this is far from the truth. Tawayafs were highly educated women, trained in various skills such as dancing, singing, and literature, and were well-respected in society. My friend Ravi told me that children from royal families were sent to tawayafs for training in behavior, ghazal writing, and other skills. The residence of tawayafs was known as a “kotha,” which is now commonly misinterpreted as a brothel, but this is not accurate. Kothas were actually places where tawayafs lived and performed.

Typically, a kotha would house multiple tawayafs, with one senior tawayaf serving as the head. The head was responsible for training the other tawayafs. Kothas often hosted dance performances every evening that were open to the public. They employed male musicians who played various instruments, while the tawayafs performed dances. Alcohol was served to special clients or occasionally to all attendees. While sex work was also part of the kotha’s activities, it was not comparable to today’s brothels where one can pay a minimal amount for sexual services.

Tawayafs were expensive, and it is said that they had the right to choose their clients. They usually had one special client with whom they maintained a significant relationship, which was quite different from the typical sex work-client relationship. Tawayafs also had children, and this special client often acted as a father figure to the children. Tawayafs were invited to perform at palaces and entertain royal families. From what I have learned, tawayafs were accepted and respected in society, although kothas themselves were still viewed with disdain.

Information about tawayafs is limited, but I have heard that there are still a few kothas operating illegally in Varanasi and Lucknow. Megan’s research on tawayafs is fascinating, but she has expressed a growing interest in studying modern sex workers due to the limited information available on tawayafs. I am eager to learn more about tawayafs and look forward to seeing what insights Megan’s thesis might offer.

—

Guide training program – week 6

Posted on by
Reply

The final week of classroom teaching has concluded, and it was a diverse and insightful week. We covered a range of topics including Jaipur, Indo-Islamic architecture, emergency procedures, gems and jewelry, Jainism, the business history of India, and project report preparation. While all the classes were informative, the one on “Things to Do in Any Emergency” stood out as the most memorable. The class was delivered by a retired Air India air hostess, and her approach was refreshingly candid.

She covered essential topics such as medical emergencies, sex, homosexuality, HIV/AIDS, and other STIs. Her openness about these subjects was unprecedented in our training. She provided practical advice on what to do if a tourist makes inappropriate sexual advances. She emphasized that while it is ultimately our choice whether to engage in such activities, if we decide to proceed, using condoms is crucial to reduce the risk of STI transmission. Her focus on HIV/AIDS was particularly notable; she shared her own experiences from her career in the service sector, highlighting the importance of safe practices.

Her discussion on homosexuality was equally enlightening. Although I was already familiar with the basics, many in the class found it new and eye-opening. She encouraged participants to embrace their sexuality and communicate openly with their families. She also discussed recent legal advancements, such as the High Court judgment supporting LGBTQ+ rights in India. She criticized the outdated belief that homosexuality is a disease and debunked the misconception that marriage to an opposite-sex partner could “cure” it.

The air hostess’s candidness about such sensitive topics was striking. In a setting where discussing sex and sexuality is often taboo, her willingness to address these issues was both bold and appreciated. The lecture was engaging and left a significant impact on everyone. On the final day of the week, all participants gathered in the institute’s auditorium for a certificate presentation. This certificate will be useful for engaging with government officials regarding our projects. Female participants were specially acknowledged on stage to encourage their participation, with the institute stressing the need for more female tour guides in the Indian tourism industry.

Overall, the week was both educational and inspiring, providing us with valuable knowledge and practical skills for our future careers.