Group wedding of 32 poor couples

Posted on May 15, 2009 by nandan

Lok Samiti organized another group wedding for 32 underprivileged couples on May 10th this year. It was a grand event, with over 8,000 attendees. I arrived around 1 PM and saw families bustling with preparations for the wedding, everyone was brimming with excitement. The wedding was held at a Hanuman Temple near Rajatalab, Varanasi. Given the temple’s limited space, the event was set up in an open area behind the temple. They had erected a tent with a beautifully decorated stage for the couples.

Lok Samiti also arranged food for the attendees of the wedding. The main objective of organizing a group wedding is to eliminate dowry practices and assist underprivileged individuals in getting married. Since the wedding is officially registered and managed by Lok Samiti, the groom’s family is legally bound by a document that prohibits them from demanding any dowry from the bride’s family, either now or in the future. I find this approach commendable. All the couples who married under these conditions were so impoverished that they would have been unable to afford a wedding on their own.

Lok Samiti gave bicycles to all the grooms and sewing machines to the brides so that they can be self dependent. Actually a lot of people come to Varanasi city area from the villages to work and the idea behind giving bicycles is that these people can use theses bicycles to come to Varanasi and work. The same idea is behind giving sewing machines as well, that the brides could do some sewing work and make some money. A lot of people from different parts of India and abroad had donated money to make this noble event true. I was responsible to bring some foreign donation.

Lok Samiti’s members had been collecting donations for the past three months and, ultimately, they raised a total of Rs. 2,60,000, which included cash, grains, clothes, and other items. The MP from the Rajatalab area was the largest donor, contributing Rs. 66,000, while his wife was the second-largest donor, providing sarees worth Rs. 15,000. Many others also made generous contributions, giving a variety of gifts and supplies. I was also encouraged to contribute, but unfortunately, I was unable to due to the current economic situation and a lack of work. Last year, I had donated clocks to all the couples on behalf of Sanjeevani Booti.

Lok Samiti appointed representatives in various villages to find individuals interested in participating in the group wedding. These representatives approached villagers to gauge interest and initially selected the men. They then informed these men about the available women and facilitated introductions between their families to arrange the marriages. I heard that some of the couples had traveled from other districts. The couples varied widely in age; some appeared to be over 40, while others seemed as young as 15 or 16. However, Lok Samiti assured that they only select participants who are over 18.

Lok Samiti had initially organized the group wedding for 30 couples, but there were concerns that not all 30 might be present. In the end, however, not only did all 30 couples show up, but two additional couples also decided to get married on the spot. These two new couples selected their partners from among the guests and informed Nandlal Master, the President of Lok Samiti. Although Lok Samiti had prepared only 30 specially designed wedding chairs, they quickly arranged for two additional regular chairs to accommodate the extra couples, ensuring that all 32 couples could be married.

This group wedding was somewhat different from a traditional Hindu wedding. Instead of the usual rituals, the ceremony began with the couples adorning each other with flower garlands. The grooms applied sindoor to the brides’ heads, and the couples then held hands as a symbol of their lasting relationship. Instead of the traditional fire ritual, they circled the Hanuman temple seven times. After completing these key elements, the families were free to carry out any additional rituals or customs they wished. Once the seven circles around the temple were completed, the couples returned to the tent to continue with the remaining ceremonies.

It was truly enjoyable and fascinating. This year’s wedding felt more progressive from the brides’ perspective, as all the brides were asked to unveil their faces. In last year’s event, the brides had their faces covered with their sarees. Although the brides initially appeared on stage with their faces covered, Lok Samiti later instructed them to reveal their faces. It was quite a sight to see 32 couples getting married simultaneously. Overall, my experience was positive, though there were a few aspects that puzzled me. For instance, I noticed some brides seemed to be sleeping, which gave the impression that they were either uninterested in the marriage or that the ceremony held little significance for them.

Lok Samiti is planning to organize a group wedding for 51 couples again next year on May 10th. They have chosen this date because it is the wedding anniversary of the MP (Member of Parliament) from the Rajatalab area. Since he is always the largest donor and a key supporter of this event, they have decided to hold the wedding on this date annually. I’m excited for next year and look forward to seeing all the brides and grooms excited, joyful, and fully awake.

AIDS survey in Mehdiganj, Varanasi

Posted on May 10, 2008 by nandan

Lok Samiti organized a group wedding for 30 couples in Mehdiganj, expecting over ten thousand attendees. I saw this as a great opportunity to kick off Sanjeevni Booti’s work. I discussed the plan with Lane, and we decided to conduct a survey on HIV awareness and distribute pamphlets about basic knowledge of AIDS. Lane prepared the content for the pamphlets and created questions for the survey. I had 2,000 pamphlets and 200 survey sheets printed. I needed additional help with the survey, so I asked my friends Raju, Sonu, and Bablu—who are also members of Sanjeevni Booti. Sonu agreed immediately, but Raju and Bablu were initially busy with other work.

To encourage them to help, I offered them a day’s salary. Raju agreed to this offer, but Bablu did not. Lane covered all expenses, including the pamphlets, survey sheets, and travel costs. I also needed some female volunteers to survey other women, but I couldn’t find any. I asked Nandlal if any of Lok Samiti’s female members could assist with surveying women for Sanjeevni Booti. Nandlal agreed to send two females, but unfortunately, they were occupied with wedding preparations when we arrived. As a result, we could not conduct surveys with any women.

We ended up surveying over 80 people and distributed 1,000 pamphlets. I was shocked by the villagers’ responses about AIDS. It seemed they had little understanding of the disease. Some believed AIDS could spread through the air, others thought it could result from having more than five sexual partners a day, and some thought it could be easily treated with medication. None of them were aware that AIDS could spread through shared razors or needles. When asked if any other NGOs had educated them about AIDS, none said yes, indicating they had not been informed by anyone with accurate knowledge. India has a high number of AIDS cases, and the rate is increasing rapidly due to changing sexual practices as the economy grows.

The rise in sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) is likely to continue. The government needs to take action to prevent this issue from escalating further. Given that Indians are generally open to new ideas and the use of condoms has not been a major issue, we can control the spread of this disease with proper education. Lane compiled the survey results into a report, which was published on Sanjeevni Booti’s website.

Group Wedding in Varanasi

Posted on May 5, 2008 by nandan

Lok Samiti organized a group wedding for 30 impoverished couples in Varanasi with the aim of providing security for the brides and promoting dowry-free marriages. All the couples were so poor that they could not afford a wedding on their own. Typically, the groom’s side demands dowry, but in this event, no dowry was allowed. Instead, all gifts for the brides and grooms were provided by Lok Samiti and other donors. I was invited by Nandlal Master and asked to contribute. Seeing the event as an excellent opportunity for my NGO, Sanjeevni Booti, I decided to participate.

With around 10,000 people expected to attend, I discussed with Lane about contributing gifts and conducting a survey on AIDS awareness among the villagers. We decided to give clocks as gifts because they are long-lasting and frequently seen. Lane had initial concerns about the ethics of giving clocks but eventually agreed with the idea. Lane covered all the expenses, including the clocks, pamphlets, survey sheets, and travel costs. I bought 30 clocks and had Sanjeevni Booti’s name printed on each one. We packed them with a pamphlet about AIDS in each packet. I asked Raju and Sonu, fellow members of Sanjeevni Booti, to assist with the event. Raju, who was busy with his job, agreed to help for a day’s pay, while Bablu could not be persuaded.

On the day of the wedding, Raju, Sonu, and I arrived at the venue. Lok Samiti members were busy decorating the stage, arranging chairs, and preparing flowers. They had also organized food for over 10,000 people. The preparations had been ongoing for a month, with chefs preparing sweets for a week. Numerous political leaders, social workers, and donors were present. The wife of Mehndiganj’s block representative contributed 30 Benaresi sarees for the brides. Lok Samiti invited the grooms and brides onto the stage. Although 30 couples were scheduled to marry, two were unable to attend, so 28 couples participated.

They exchanged garlands, completing the marriage formalities. Nandlal Master then presented a document for the couples to sign—many were uneducated and simply thumb-printed the paper. Nandlal read the document aloud, stating that the couples pledged never to fight, to live together, and that no dowry would be demanded. Any breach would result in legal action by Lok Samiti. Afterward, the couples proceeded to a nearby Shiva temple for the final rites. Traditionally, Hindu weddings involve walking around a sacred fire, but in this case, the couples circled the Shiva temple instead, with Shiva standing as witness to the marriage.

The wedding concluded with the distribution of gifts. I handed out the clocks with Raju, Sonu, and our driver. Other gifts included sarees, watches, pots, and additional items. Lok Samiti provided each bride with a sewing machine and each groom with a bicycle, believing these items would help the couples become financially independent in the future. Amanda, my American friend, also contributed a sewing machine and two boxes of refined oil. It was a memorable experience to see 30 couples marry simultaneously on the same stage.

I found it particularly interesting that three of the brides appeared to be sleeping on stage, which seemed unusual for a wedding. Nandlal Master mentioned that Lok Samiti plans to organize similar group weddings in the future, with 51 couples expected next year. I appreciated the way Lok Samiti handled the event, ensuring everything was formalized on paper, which should help prevent dowry demands and ensure the brides’ security.