My cousin’s wedding was scheduled for December 12th, and I was initially excited about it. However, I was unable to attend because I had to be in Gwalior for my tour guide training exams and interview. The wedding was on the 12th, my written exam was on the 13th, and the party was on the 16th, which was also the day of my interview. In retrospect, I’m relieved I didn’t attend, as the events surrounding the wedding turned out to be quite chaotic. My cousin, who worked at a travel agency in Delhi and was 30 years old, wanted to marry and had his parents arrange the match.
My uncle, who had a relative in Benares seeking a groom for his daughter, acted as the mediator. The wedding was set for December, after being arranged in May. Although my cousin and the bride had met secretly, as her father disapproved of pre-marital meetings, they got along well and seemed happy. However, a few days before the wedding, the bride’s father, who seemed rather superstitious, insisted on having my cousin’s horoscope rechecked by a prominent Brahmin. According to traditional beliefs, horoscopes are matched on 32 different qualities, and if fewer than 16 match, the marriage is considered inauspicious.
The bride’s father was concerned that my cousin was a “Manglik,” which supposedly posed issues related to Mars in his horoscope. Despite these concerns, the horoscope was revalidated, and the wedding proceeded as planned. On the wedding day, as the groom’s procession arrived at the bride’s home, a commotion erupted. It was discovered that the bride did not want to marry my cousin because she was in love with someone else. Her boyfriend, accompanied by an advocate, was present and expressed his wish to marry her. The bride, who had left her home just before the wedding procession arrived, took refuge at a neighbor’s house. Her father and others forcefully brought her back.
Amid the chaos, the bride continued to protest and expressed her desire to marry her boyfriend. Despite this, my cousin chose to proceed with the wedding. The bride’s family then physically assaulted the boyfriend and his supporter, imprisoning them overnight, and the marriage was forcibly conducted. The bride was quickly brought to the groom’s home, where she reiterated her feelings to my cousin and asked for his help to reunite with her boyfriend. However, my cousin insisted she accept their marriage, given the circumstances.
It’s difficult for me to understand why my cousin went through with the marriage despite knowing the situation. He often spoke of his age and his fear that he wouldn’t find a partner if he waited longer, which might have influenced his decision. I also struggle to understand why the bride didn’t disclose her relationship with her boyfriend earlier or why this issue was only addressed on the wedding day. Arranged marriages are still common in India, but there’s a growing opposition to the practice. While I don’t have an issue with arranged marriages per se, the circumstances surrounding my cousin’s wedding make me uneasy.
The situation was handled poorly, and it’s distressing to see such forceful measures taken. I’m unsure whether to hope for my cousin and his wife to work things out or consider separation, but one thing is clear: if the bride were to act on her previous desires, it would create significant problems for my cousin and his family.